Découverte de la non-binarité : le témoignage de Cami

Even if you don’t get it,

you can still support and help us.

Our identity is still valid and real.

My name is Cami, I’m 22,

and I am here to tell you about
my nonbinary identity.

It is an umbrella word for

all gender identities that are not
exclusively male nor female.

This includes agender identity

– “a” for the absence of gender,
which is neutral –,

as if gender was a spectrum

with two poles: male and female.

Fluid identity can move around
that spectrum.

This includes people who are gender fluid,
demigender, pangender, etc.

I never really related to feminity.

At 18, I already started
questioning my gender identity.

I met a trans man

who I dated for a while.

Together, we found words
to express my identity:

nonbinary.

I think that

because he was much more informed
than me,

he was able to help me
find the words for my identity.

Gender identity is what you are,

it’s the gender you feel,

the one you live, you experience.

Gender expression is
what others see in you,

it’s the way you express your identity.

For instance, you can have
a male gender identity:

therefore, you are a man.

But you can also have
a female gender expression,

with markers society perceive as female.

For example, Bilal Hassasni is a man
with a female gender expression.

I told my parents I was non-binary
and that I wanted to change my name

at the same time.

I was 20 years old, two years ago.

My mom took it very well

she was already well-informed
about gender identity.

She was open-minded and very safe.

I felt safe with her.

Telling my father was a bit touchier.

It took me longer to tell him,
and I did not do it in real life.

I sent him a message because
it was easier for me to do.

He reacted well enough:

he said although
he may not get everything,

he would still be there for me
no matter what,

nothing would change for him,

and that he loved me just the same.

It was a bit harder for my grandmother

because it was foreign to her.

She grew up in the countryside
before coming to Paris.

She lived 50 years with my grandfather.

She was used to
cisheternormative environments

where she never questioned her identity
or anyone else’s.

When I told her she was quite stunned,
but she always made sure

to treat me the best way possible.