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Even if you don’t get it,
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you can still support and help us.
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Our identity is still valid and real.
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My name is Cami, I’m 22,
and I am here to tell you about
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my nonbinary identity.
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It is an umbrella word for
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all gender identities that are not
exclusively male nor female.
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This includes agender identity
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– “a” for the absence of gender,
which is neutral –,
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Or all fluid identities,
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as if gender was a spectrum
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with two poles: male and female.
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Fluid identity can move around
that spectrum.
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This includes people who are gender fluid,
demigender, pangender, etc.
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I never really related to feminity.
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At 18, I already started
questioning my gender identity.
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I met a trans man
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who I dated for a while.
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Together, we found words
to express my identity:
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nonbinary.
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I think that because he was
much more than me,
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he was able to help me
find the words for my identity.
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Gender identity is what you are,
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it’s the gender you feel,
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the one you live, you experience.
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Gender expression is
what others see in you,
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it’s the way you express your identity.
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For instance, you can have
a male gender identity:
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therefore, you are a man.
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But you can also have
a female gender expression,
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with markers society perceive as female.
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For example, Bilal Hassasni is a man
with a female gender expression.
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I told my parents I was non-binary
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and that I wanted to change my name
at the same time.
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I was 20 years old, two years ago.
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My mother took it very well
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she was already well-informed
about gender identity.
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She was open-minded and very safe.
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I felt safe with her.
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Telling my father was a bit touchier.
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It took me longer to tell him,
and I did not do it in real life.
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I sent him a message because
it was easier for me to do.
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He reacted well enough:
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he said although
he may not get everything,
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he'd still be there no matter what,
nothing would change for him,
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and that he loved me just the same.
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It was a bit harder for my grandmother
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because it was foreign to her.
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She grew up in the countryside
before coming to Paris.
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She lived 50 years with my grandfather.
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She was used to
cisheternormative environments
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where she never questioned her identity
or anyone else’s.
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When I told her she was quite stunned,
but she always made sure
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to treat me the best way possible.