Discover the concept of non-binary: Cami's experiences

Even if you are unsure,

you can still care.

Our identities stays
and remains valid.

A PERSONAL EXPERIENCE
Non-binary gender identity

My name is Camille,
a 22 year-old, non-binary person

and I’m here to talk
about this gender identity.

Non-binary is an umbrella term

that includes all gender identities,
not just male and female.

This can encompass agender,

where the letter « a » denotes
neutrality or genderless person,

or this can refer to any form
of evolving gender identities,

such as imagining being
on a spectrum with two ends,

male and female.

Think of a cursor that moves

all individuals
whose gender identities evolve,

link somewhat to a gender
(demigender)

or relate to many genders
(pangender), etc.

I never relate myself to femininity.

When I was 18,
I started to question

about my gender identity,

and I met a man who was assigned
female at birth (trans man).

We spent some time together

and could piece together my identity
as a non-binary.

I believe he was
more informed than me

and was able to help me find
descriptions about my identity.

Gender identity,
it is who we are.

It’s what you feel,

what you live,
what you experience.

And gender expression is
what we outwardly present.

It’s how we express
this identity.

Say, we can have
a gender identity,

like, male :

One is a man,

and has a gender expression

that appears female,
with several indicators

considered to be feminine
in the society.

Like Bilal Hassani,
who is a man

with a female gender expression.

I informed my parents
that I am a non-binary

and that I want to change
my given name

at the same time.

2 years ago, I was 20.

My Mom was receptive.

She was already prepared.

She created
an inclusive, safe space.

I felt secured.

My Dad,
it’s somewhat fragile.

I put more time explaining
to him

but I didn’t do it

in person.

I sent him a note,

because it’s simpler
to deal with.

He seemed calm.

He didn’t really get it,

but in any case,
he will support me

and that won’t change
the way he loves me

Things are less clear
for my Grandma,

because it’s something
she’s unfamiliar with.

She grew up in the rural area.

Then, she moved to Paris.

She lived with my Grandpa
for 50 years.

She was surrounded
by beliefs in heterosexuality,

where she never questionned
her identity

or other’s identity.

So, when I spoke with her,
she was somewhat astonished,

but she always kept my well-being in mind.

She made enormous efforts,

She’s hardly wrong

with my given name.

I requeted a given name change

in 2019

I submitted a request
to my town’s city hall.

I took out an application
that I filled out

with testimonies
by my nearest and dearest

that they called me, Cami

I asked my school
for a letter of support.

Then, I submitted my application.

I waited for a few months.

This depends on the city halls.

I received approval
for the name change.

The meaning of misgendering,

it’s to call someone
the wrong given name,

thus attaching a specific gender
to a non-binary

who had explicitly indicated

to use gender-neutral pronouns,
such as « they »

and categorizing the individual
as male or female.

Personnally, I include my pronouns

as feminine orally
and neutral in writing.

But it’s true generally

I tend to say right away,

that I’d like someone to call me
by the feminine pronouns.

Even after the person
doesn’t do it

and if you want to be sure
to gender correctly,

you can ask for the pronouns

or let the person tell you
the preferred gender.

In the videos
that I created before,

several comments weaken
our individuality

that denies our gender expressions
and identities.

For me, I rarely read
those comments,

just because I know
for the most part,

they are malicious
or awkward,

and they just want to hurt me.

I joined a report in which

one considered this a fad,

which appeared some years ago

in the United States, 10 years ago

that it relates really
to fashion.

unisex fashion, etc.

That’s completely false.
I think it’s also

a point of view overly white
and eurocentric,

because in most cultures

one finds several gender identities

that have been scratched off

during colonization, simply.

Often enough, one hears
its problems,

It’s embarrassing to create
boxes repeatedly

for identifying oneself
over and over again,

but I believe that it’s
overly important

to be able to first
identify oneself to something

in order to detach
from an identity

that was arbitrarily assigned us.

I think, yeah, it’s necessary

to also recognize oneself
in the community

for creating a linkage,
knowing that you have companions

that you have support

that you have others like us

who understands
who listens.

If I had one thing to say,

I believe that at the bare minimum
even if you do not understand

you can always care

you can learn
and think inclusive.

You can inform yourself
and help your near and dear,

even if you are unsure

what matters overall is
the gender identity.

Secondly, non-binary individuals

express their identities differently,

where some of them
go through

medical transitions
with hormone treatments,

and undertake operations,
while others do not,

and regardless how

one transforms,

socially, medically, etc.

Our identity stays and
remains valid,

and many of us are around.