Découverte de la non-binarité : le témoignage de Cami

Even if you don't understand

you can always support and assist us.

Our identities remain legitimate

and it exists.

My name is Cami, I'm 22 years old,

I'm nin-binary

and I'm here to talk about my identity

'Non-binary' is an umbrella term

that includes all the identities that are

neither exclusively masculine nor feminine

That could be agender, with "a" meaning

a subtraction without gender.

Which is neutral. Or it can be all

the fluid identities, as we imagine gender

as a spectrum with two poles, masculine

and feminine. And there is a cursor

which moves. So people who are

genderfluid, demigender, pangender, etc.

I never really identified with femininity.

At 18, I started to ask myself questions

on my gender identity and I met

a trans man, who I was with for awhile

and we finally put together some words

for my identity, so 'non-binary'.

I think it's because he had more info

than me. He helped me find the words for

my identity. Gender identity is what

we are. It's the gender we feel, our

lives, and what we experiment with.

and gender expression is what we present

to others. It's the way we express

that identity. You could have a gender

identity, for example, that's masculine

so a man, and you can have a gender

expression that is feminine, with markers

considered as feminine in society.

Like for example, Bilal Hassani, he is

a man with a feminine gender expression.

I told my parents that I was non binary

and that I wanted to change my name also.

I was 20, so two years ago

and my mom took it quite well.

She was already up to date with questions

about gender. She deconstructed them

and it was safe, I felt secure.

For my dad, it was a little bit delicate.

I took more time to talk to him

and I didn't do it in person. I actually

sent him a message, as it was easier

for me to manage. And he took it well.

He said he didn't understand it all,

but he would support me regardless

and that it wouldn't change anything

for him, he loved me the same.

For my grandma, it was less clear,

it's something unfamiliar for her.

She grew up in the countryside. Then

she came to Paris. She lived with

my grandpas for 50 years.

She lived in very cis heteronormative

contexts, where she never asked questions

on her identity or of others.

So when I talked to her about it, she

was caught off guard, but she always

tried her best to behave in the best way

she can with me. She's make a lot

of effort, she doesn't make anymore

mistakes with saying my name now.

I made an application to chance my name

in 2019, I submitted the application to

the city where I was living in. I obtained

a file that I filled with witnesses from

my close friends, to show that they use

the name Cami to refer to me. I asked

my school to write a letter of support.

Then, I submitted my file and waited a

few months. The time span varies according

to cities. And then I got my name change

accepted.