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Discovery of Non-binary: Cami's story

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    Even if you don't understand,
    you can always support and encourage us.
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    Our identity is still recognized
    and it exists.
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    My name's Cami, I'm 22,
    and I'm non-binary
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    and I'm here to talk about non-binary.
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    Non-binary is an umbrella term
    that includes all gender identities
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    that aren't only male
    or only female.
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    It can be agender so "a", subtracts,
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    and it means genderless, is neutral,
    or it can be all fluid identities,
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    as if gender is a spectrum with 2 poles,
    masculine and feminine.
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    We can have a cursor that moves.
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    Everyone who identifies as gender fluid,
    demigender, pangender, etc.
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    I never really identified with femininity.
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    At 18, I already started asking myself
    questions on my gender identity,
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    and I met a trans guy,
    who I was with for some time,
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    and we put into words my identity,
    which is non-binary.
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    I think it's because he had much more
    information than me
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    that he was able to help me find the words
    about my identity.
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    Gender identity is what we are.
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    It is the gender we feel,
    we live with and experiment with.
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    And Gender expression
    is what we let others see.
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    It is the way we express our identity.
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    We can have a gender identity
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    for example, male:
    we're a guy,
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    and we'll have a gender expression
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    that is feminine, with many labels
    considered feminine in society.
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    For example, Bilal Hassani is a man
    with a feminine gender expression.
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    I told my parents that I was non-binary
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    and that I wanted to change my first name
    at the same time.
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    I was 20, so it was two years ago.
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    My mom took it very well.
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    She was already familiar
    with gender issues.
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    She was very deconstructed to the idea
    and very safe.
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    I felt safe.
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    With my dad, it was a bit delicate.
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    I took more time to talk to him
    and I didn't do it in person.
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    I sent him a message
    because it was simpler for me to handle.
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    He reacted pretty well.
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    He said he didn't understand everything
    but he'll support me regardless
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    and that this changes nothing for him,
    that his love for me stays the same.
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    For my grandmother, it was less obvious
    because it's something farfetched to her.
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    She grew up in the countryside.
    Then, she moved to Paris.
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    She lived with my grandfather
    for 50 years.
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    She lived in very
    cis heteronormative societies.
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    where she never questioned her identity
    or the identity of others.
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    When I talked to her,
    she was a bit bewildered
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    but she always looked out for me
    and behaved her best with me.
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    She makes a lot of effort
    and almost never makes a mistake
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    when using my first name.
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    I requested to change my first name
    in 2019.
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    I applied to the city hall where I lived.
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    I filled out the folder
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    with the testimonies
    from my family and friends
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    to state that they'll use the name Cami
    to address me.
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    I asked my school to write a letter
    of support for me.
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    Then, I submitted my folder.
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    I waited several months.
    It varies depending on the city hall.
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    And I got approval
    to change my first name.
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    Misgendering a person
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    is to address this person
    with the wrong pronouns,
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    so gendering a non-binary person
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    who clearly said
    to use neutral pronouns like "they/them"
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    and to gender them as female or male.
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    Personally, I use she/her pronouns
    when speaking and they/them when writing.
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    But it's true that in general,
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    I tend to say immediately
    that I prefer others to address me
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    with she/her pronouns when speaking.
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    Later if the person doesn't do it
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    and you would prefer
    to be sure of their gender,
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    you could ask for them
    to specify their pronouns
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    or wait until the person
    uses their pronouns
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    to respect their gender.
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    With the other videos I did,
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    there were a lot of comments
    that belittled our identities,
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    and denied our gender expressions
    and gender identities.
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    Afterwards, I hardly read these comments
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    because I knew for the most part
    they're malicious or very inconsiderate
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    and they will only hurt me.
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    I have already participated in a report
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    where we could hear
    that it was a fashion statement,
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    that it appeared a few years ago
    in the U.S., 10 years ago,
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    and that it had to do with fashion,
    unisex fashion, etc.
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    This is completely false.
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    I also think that it's an extremely white
    and Eurocentric point of view
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    because in many cultures
    we find many gender identities
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    that were completely erased
    during colonization.
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    Often we hear that it's problematic,
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    it's annoying to create labels
    and more and more labels
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    to identify and reidentify, etc.
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    but I think it is especially crucial
    to first identify with something
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    in order to dissociate with an identity
    that was assigned to us randomly.
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    I think it's necessary
    to also find a community
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    to create bonds,
    to know that we're not alone,
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    that there is support,
    and that there are others like us
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    that understand us,
    and who listens.
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    If I could say one thing,
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    I think it would be that
    even though you don't understand
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    you can always support and encourage us.
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    You can learn,
    you can deconstruct patterns of thinking.
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    You can find out more information,
    you can help your loved ones,
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    even if you don't understand
    the range of their gender identity.
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    Secondly, all non-binary people
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    have a different way
    of expressing their identity,
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    there are people
    who will do medical transitions,
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    who will take hormones and do operations
    while others won't
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    and no matter the way we transition or not
    socially, medically, etc.
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    Our identity is still recognized
    and it exists
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    and there are many, many of us.
Title:
Discovery of Non-binary: Cami's story
Description:

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Video Language:
French
Duration:
05:55

Burmese subtitles

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