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Découverte de la non-binarité : le témoignage de Cami

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    Even if you don't understand,
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    you can still support and help.
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    Our identity, it is valid
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    and it exists.
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    My name is Cami, I am 22 years old,
    I am non-binary,
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    and I'm here to talk
    about being non-binary.
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    Non-binary is an umbrella term
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    that includes all gender identities
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    that are neither exclusively masculine
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    nor exclusively feminine.
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    It can be agender,
    so "a" is the lack of gender,
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    genderless, which is neutral
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    or it can be all fluid identities
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    as if we imagined gender
    as a spectrum with two poles,
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    masculine and feminine.
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    We can have a curser that moves.
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    All gender fluid people,
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    demigender, pangender, etc.
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    I have never
    really identified with femininity.
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    At the age of 18,
    I already started questioning
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    my gender identity,
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    and I met a trans man,
    who I was dating
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    for some time,
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    and together we put
    my identity into words
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    that was non-binary.
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    I believe he had more info
    than me,
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    which is why he knew how to help me
    find words about my identity.
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    Gender identity
    is what we are.
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    It is the gender that we feel, live,
    and experiment with.
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    And gender expression
    is what we show to others.
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    It is how we express this identity.
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    For example, you can have
    a gender identity,
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    that is masculine: being a man,
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    and having a gender expression
    of a woman
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    with a lot of qualities
    considered feminine in a society.
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    Like, for example,
    Bilal Hassani, who is a man
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    with a feminine gender expression.
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    I told my parents I was non-binary,
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    and that I wanted to change my name
    at the same time.
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    It happened two years ago,
    I was 20 back then.
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    My mom took it well.
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    She was already up with
    gender questions.
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    she was already woke on such issues
    and super, super safe.
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    I felt safe.
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    With my dad,
    it was a bit trickier.
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    It took me a little bit longer
    to talk to him about it,
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    and I did not do it in person.
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    I sent him a text,
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    because it was easier for me to handle.
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    He took it quite well.
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    He told me that
    he did not get fully get it,
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    but anyhow, he will be there
    to support me
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    and that for him,
    nothing will change,
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    and that he loved me the same.
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    For my grandma,
    it was a bit trickier
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    because it was something
    she was not very familiar with.
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    She grew up in the countryside.
    Later, she moved to Paris.
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    She has been with my grandpa
    for 50 years.
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    She had very cisnormative beliefs,
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    which never made her question
    her own identity
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    or the identity of others.
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    When I talked to her about it,
    her mind was a bit blown,
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    but but she always stayed put
    and held herself together
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    in the best way possible with me.
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    She puts in a lot of effort,
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    and she almost never makes mistakes
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    in using the preferred name.
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    I requested a name change
    in 2019.
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    I submitted a request
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    to the town hall of the city
    where I lived.
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    I obtained a copy
    that I filled out
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    with testimonies
    from my loved ones
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    saying that they would use
    name Cami
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    when talking to me.
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    I asked my school
    to write me a letter of support.
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    I then submitted my application.
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    I waited for a few months.
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    Time varies, depending on the town hall.
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    And my request of the name change
    was accepted.
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    Misgendering a person
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    means to address them
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    with the wrong pronouns,
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    so to gender a non-binary person
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    that would have specifically said
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    to use neutral pronouns,
    like ‘they/them’
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    and to gender him or her
    by using feminine or masculine pronouns.
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    I personally use the pronouns
    that are considered feminine
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    when talking
    and neutral ones when writing.
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    But it is true that in general,
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    I tend to say it right away,
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    that I prefer
    people to address me
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    with feminine pronouns
    when speaking/ talking.
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    After,
    if a person does not do it themselves
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    and you want to make sure
    to use the right pronouns,
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    you can ask them their pronouns
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    or wait till that person
    self-identifies themselves in front of you
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    so that you can address them
    with the same pronouns.
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    Under the previous videos I made,
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    there were a lot of comments
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    that invalidate our identities,
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    that don’t acknowledge
    our gender expressions and identities.
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    But to be honest,
    I rarely read those comments
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    simply because I know
    that for the most part,
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    they are either malicious
    or very, very insensitive,
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    and that they will just hurt my feelings.
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    I once participated in a report
    where you could hear
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    that it was only a trend,
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    that it only appeared a few years ago,
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    10, to be precise, in the US,
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    that it really had something to do
    with the trend,
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    the unisex culture, etc.
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    Well, that is completely false.
    I think it is also a very white
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    and very Eurocentric point of view,
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    because in many cultures,
    there are multiple gender identities
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    that were completely erased
    by colonisation,
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    to put it quite simply.
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    Quite often, we hear
    that it is problematic,
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    that it is a pain to recreate
    more and more cases
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    to identify, re-identify, etc.,
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    but I think it is super important
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    to be able to, in the first place,
    identify as something
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    in order to unidentify from an identity
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    that was imposed on us
    arbitrarily.
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    I think it is essential
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    to surround yourself with a community,
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    to to build a rapport,
    to know that you are not alone,
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    and that there is support out there,
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    and that there are other people
    like us
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    that get us and listen to us.
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    If there was one thing I could say,
    it would be this:
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    even if you don't get it,
    you can still support and help.
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    You can learn,
    you can think outside the box.
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    You can get informed
    and help your loved ones,
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    even if you do not get everything
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    about their gender identity.
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    Another thing to add
    is that all non-binary people
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    have a different way
    of expressing their identity.
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    There are people
    who will medically transition,
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    who will take hormones,
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    who will get a gender-affirming surgery,
    while others will not.
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    Regardless of the way
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    in which we chose to transition or no,
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    socially, medically, etc,
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    our identity,
    it is always valid and it does exist.
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    There are a lot of us
Title:
Découverte de la non-binarité : le témoignage de Cami
Description:

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Video Language:
French
Duration:
05:55

Russian subtitles

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