"It Gets Better" — Love, Pixar

Hi, my name is Darla (?) and I'm a producer here at Pixar Animation Studios

You know, Pixar is made of just crazy combination of people

there's mad scientist and dancers and animators and all kinds of unique individuals

most of those unique individuals weren't the most popular in high school and junior high

they just weren't, it's just the way it works

thanks godness we hung around and found each other and created this familiar tribe

of people, that's created this unprecedented team that makes movie magic

and so, because of that, because of where we all came from

we want to share a message of hope with all of you

I knew at a young age that I was very different

I started out as a sort of a top boy and I liked to play with the boys and I liked to play with the boys things

I walked wrong, I talked wrong, I wasn't interested in the right things, I loved show tunes

I brought my sister's doll to show and tell

I remember just... just feeling not sure how to do it

I was able to kind of compartmentalize being gay

I always felt like if I don't want this hard enough maybe it will go away

it was sort of all I can do just keep it under wraps, keep it hidden

one day I was at a dinner table and I was kind of just joking and I made

like this gesture

and my brother said dude that's really gay

and [I was like] no it's not

and then my parents were like yeah, it's kinda gay !

I really was faced with this idea that I was really getting me in trouble

I felt like if I was a lesbian my father wouldn't love me anymore

so I had a choice to make: would I be true to myself or would i live a life of lies

I couldn't be myself and show... as much of myself as I could

there's a sense of invisibility when you're gay because you don't wanna step out

you don't wanna show too much, not everybody is [...] on Glee

all my friends from my catholic elementary school got to go to an all girls catholic high school

but my mother wouldn't let me go, she wanted me to go to a public school, so that I'd be around boys

the name of the game was I guess to fit in

when it got thought I put on a show

every time I had to go on a field or on the cord I was felt ostracized from the rest of the team

all of the people on the stand were like dike, lesbo and get off the field

I got harassed verbally and phisically

they called me faggot and pushed me around

it escalated to be pretty violent, not only inside the campus of the school, but outside

I was completely scared and confused

I thought that being gay meant being alone and being isolated

and constantly living in fear

it got to the point where I was so scared of everything and of everyone that I wouldn't actually talk to anyone

and that was very very terrifying

and just really really sad, sad feeling. I didn't wanna be alone

I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to make sense out of the world

I felt full of self hatred

I started getting these thoughts that if I'm not around no one would really miss me

no one would really care

someone interrupted me from jumping off the roof of my dorm

I am so grateful to that person today

because things got so much better

and I wouldn't have known if they hadn't stopped me

I would have missed so much of my life

I would have missed an entire future that was genuine

I would have missed an authentic way of living

making your own friends for the firts time

making or discovering new music

going to birthday parties with my daughter friends

a dance group which was super cool I got to travel with them

walking in to a gay bar and feeling like you really belonged

I would have missed great friends, great relationships

I'd lost amazing experiences that you can have with a friend

I would have missed meeting Colin, my amazing cube mate

I would have missed my nieces being born, who are the cutiest things ever

finding my dream job, finding my dream city, finding my dream partner

the first time I ever got to dance with my boyfriend in public

meeting the love of my life

meeting my wife

getting to experience what that kind of relationship is like

I don't think I'd be as close to my family now

I wouldn't, you know, seen my mother come around

when my mom and I talked about it I felt this huge sense of relief

you feel it, you don't [...] stay inside your head you're actually feeling it right here

that was just ... blew me away

coming out was just like the beginning

my life is the kind of life I didn't even know it was an option

I finally started thinking about what being gay was gonna be for me

I just started by realizing that I had to love myself first

and it took a while, I think.. just [...]

I found a new me and it was the right me, this time

I sort of found that I wasn't alone and that my situation was not that different

I started to meet people who gave me so much acceptance and love

people that I wouldn't completely missed out on had it not been for the fact that I was gay

I got to get married with the love of my life

we just made six years last week and

we have a cat

and we have a lovely little one bedroom place that is ours

and I get to walk up those nine steps,

open the door, know that he's home and

I get to kiss him and hug him when I walk in the door

and that, that brings me so much joy

it's been one of the biggest blessings of my life, I've met such wonderful people,

it made me such a stronger person to be gay and there's nothing I would do

nothing I would do to change that now

don't let anyone tell you you're less than zero just because you're gay

there are lots of people out there who care about you and want to see you live

so please stay strong and stay in it, it gets better

tell yourself over and over again that you're ok

because you are

and know that... that no matter how hard things can seem

that you're connected to everybody else going through that same thing

you will find your place and it will get better, I promise

I can definitely tell you and I didn't believe it, I didn't think it would ever get better

but it really really does get better

focus on the future, don't focus on the problems that you're going through right now

focus on the greatness of your life that is going to become

find someone, anyone that you can confide in that you think will support you

and help you and love you unconditionally

and if that person is not helpful then drop them immediately and go to another person

know that somewhere out there you can make a connection with someone else who feels just like you do

similar to how you do and wants you around

and wants to give you a big hug and tell you that everything is alright

and that it does get better

if I could just come through the screen right now and just give you a big hug and tell you it get better

I would totally do that

I promise you that it not only gets better

but it's so... it's so much more than you could possibly imagine

it's so beautiful, the things that life has waiting for you

it will get better, it gets better

it gets better

it gets really better

everything gets better

it gets better, it gets great