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Louis CK - Being White

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    Sorry I'm being so negative.
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    I guess I'm a bummer, I don't know...
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    I shouldn't be, I'm a very, uh, you know, lucky guy.
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    I got a lot going for me,
    I'm healthy, I'm relatively young, I'm white,
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    which, thank God for that shit, boy!
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    That is a HUGE leg up, are you kidding me?
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    Oh, God I love being white.
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    I really do. Seriously if you're not white,
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    you are missing out, because this shit,
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    is thoroughly good...But let me be clear, by the way.
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    I'm not saying white people are better,
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    I'm saying that being white is CLEARLY better!
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    Who could even argue?
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    If it was an option, I would re-up every year.
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    "Oh, yeah, I'll take 'white' again, absolutely.
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    I've been enjoying that, I'm going to stick with white, thank you."
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    Here's how great it is to be white,
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    I could get in a time machine, and go to any time,
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    and it would be fucking AWESOME when I get there!
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    That is exclusively a white privilege.
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    Black people can't fuck with time machines.
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    A black guy in a time machine is like,
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    "Hey, anything before 1980, no, thank you.
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    I don't want to go."
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    But I can go to any time!
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    The year... 2?! I don't even know what was happening
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    then, but I know when I get there,
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    "Welcome, we have a table right here for you, sir."
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    "Thanks, Thank you.
    Ah, it's lovely here in the Year 2."
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    I can go to any time...in the past...
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    I don't want to go to the future and find out what
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    happens to white people. Because, we're gonna
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    pay hard for this shit, you got to know that.
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    We're not just gonna fall from number 1 to 2,
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    They're gonna hold us down and fuck
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    us in the ass forever.
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    And we totally deserve it. But for now,
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    Whee!
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    Now, if you're white, and you don't admit
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    that it's great... you're an asshole!
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    It is great, and I'm a man, how many
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    advantages can one person have?
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    I'm a white man, you... you can't even hurt
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    my feelings.
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    What can you really call a white man that really digs deep?
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    "Hey, cracker!"
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    "Ugh, ruined my day. Boy, shouldn't have
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    called me a cracker. Bringing me back to
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    owning land and people. What a drag!"
Title:
Louis CK - Being White
Video Language:
English
Duration:
02:30

English subtitles

Revisions

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