The Fault Finding Mind | Ajahn Brahm | 7 May 2021

So, now is the opportunity for me to
give a talk. And for this evening's

talk, for once, I was this
evening, just in my room, came here

early, decided to give a talk on one of
the things which causes a lot of

problems in our modern world. It's
called the fault finding mind. It causes

a lot of problems in meditation, but
it's much deeper than that. And the

reason why I came across that talk was
recently, I had my COVID jab. Reason is

now the AstraZeneca, because it had
"Zen" in it. As a Buddhist, I thought

that's appropriate for a monk to have a
"Zen" jab. [laughter] It's very

disappointing, I must admit, because
people said it was going to have all

sorts of problems afterwards. I got
nothing, I wasn't tired or didn't hurt,

no sort of reactions at all. So, I live
a very boring life as a healthy monk.

It's true. But one of the things which I
noticed, was sitting in the doctor's

surgery in Serpentine, there was a
gentleman in there, he was really upset.

I'm not quite sure why, something the
doctors or the nurses weren't doing. And

he was really upset and he was very
angry, and I thought, poor doctors and

nurses. I mean they're trying their very
best to serve and to help. And they

don't force people to do things,
usually. And just, why are people so

upset? It's something I hadn't seen in
monastery for a long time. Just why do

people get so wound up about small
things? And it is because that sometimes

people have developed the fault finding
mind. They always see what's wrong in

things. They see what's wrong in the
medical profession. What's wrong with

COVID? What's wrong with the Buddhist
Society of Western Australia? What's

wrong with Ajahn Brahm? What's wrong
with the whole world? And some might

even see what's wrong with themselves
and they get depressed. Have you ever

see me depressed? One of the reasons why
as a monk you just don't get depressed

is literally because you've haven't
developed the fault finding mind at all.

You've actually developed the opposite
of the fault finding mind and one little

story which I was telling a few people
during the week, I love telling sort

of jokes. It's a funny story, but it's
not really so much for the joy or the

fun of it. It's just how people can
relate to the story. And this was a

story of a young man. And he was really
sort of, he's quite bright and passed

his university or whatever, or school or
whatever, but he couldn't get a job. And

so what happened was that his friends
tried to get him a job. You're getting a

job somewhere, you get to work, you get
some money for something. It's good

exercise and a good experience for you.
So, they got him a fairly simple job as

as a waiter in one of the restaurants.
You didn't have to have much skill about

that. You just find out what a person
wants and take it to the cooks or

whatever and then they give them the
food afterwards. And then just after

half a day, this young man soon
resigned. Why? What was the problem? He

said, "well look, so if I give all this
delicious food to everybody and I can't

eat any of it for myself, there's so
much suffering. I can't stand it any

longer, half a day is enough." So, they
say now what can we do with this guy and

they came up with a solution and they
said "okay you can actually be the

cashier because the cashier, that little
area there, is all cordoned off. So you

can't see the food at all, maybe
smelling it but not that much. And you

can just get the bills, count the money,
give the change. Easy!" So okay, I'll

try that. So he became the cashier at
the restaurant. After half a day he gave

that up as well. I can't stand this any
longer. It's even more torture than

serving food which I can't eat. I count
money which isn't mine. I count all the

money but I can't put any of it in my
pocket. Oh, that's so much torture. They

said how can we just deal with somebody
like this and get him a job so they

talked around. And they finally came up
with a solution. A brilliant solution.

They said the local cemetery needs a
cemetery attendant. There is a little

light cabin in the front of the cemetery
just where the main gate is. All you

need to do is sit in there quietly and
just make sure that the right people

come in and they don't. No food, you
can't see any food there. You can't see

any money. So you should be
able to do this; such simple job. He

said okay I'll give it a try. After half
a day, he resigned. I can't stand this

any longer. They said, why? While I'm
sitting in there most of the day and I

see all these people lying down and I
have to sit up. [laughter]

In a cemetary. Okay, there's a bit of
funny story about that. But, that is a

good example of someone who is a fault
finder, big time. whatever job you do,

you'd always find fault in it somewhere.
I tell people, look even if whatever

work you have to do, always remember
this, that if you really enjoyed your

job, you found a very fulfilling, very
worthwhile job to do. Don't tell your

boss, otherwise they'd stopped paying
you. Your salary, your payment is a

bribe to do a job you'd rather not do.
How many of you would get up on a Monday

morning and go to work? Do you love
doing that? Wouldn't it be better just

to sleep in? The reason you go to work
is because you get paid for it. Let's

not call it "salary". Let's call it for
what it really is, "bribe". To get you

to go to work. And that's why some
people just do extra work. Get more

money. So if you don't really enjoy your
work so much, just think about poor

Ajahn Brahm and Venerable Ananda. We
don't get paid at all. [laughter] They

don't bribe us at all. So, Madam
Vice-President [of the BSWA], so for

that, one of the reasons that sometimes
the situation. Our work situation, see

where I live. All I can afford is a
little cave, sleeping on the floor. But

I've had gone up in the world because a
few people asked me earlier on, was it

really true that when I first went to
Bodhinyana Monastery in Serpentine, I

didn't have a cave, I didn't have a hut.
I had a door. That's all. And this door,

there's another monk with me at the
time. We had two doors from the salvage

yard. And the door was put on three
bricks in every corner, 12 bricks in

all. And we put on some mosquito net
umbrella, which they had in Thailand at

those time we bought over here, on top
of that, and that's where I slept. I

think it was a pillow but no sort of
mattress and my door, we had two doors.

The other monk was senior to me so he
got the first choice of the doors. He

got the much better door which was flat.
My door had all this ribbing on it. You

know these really fancy doors, had all
ribbing all over it. And that's where I

slept on for the first two or three
months over in Bodhinyana Monastery. It

was one very helpful feature because I
don't have a fault finding mind. I see

the positive things in things; and the
positive things which I saw in my door.

It had a hole in the centre where the
doorknob used to be, because we've taken

the doorknob off so there's a hole in
the centre of my bed so I didn't really

need to get out of bed to go to the
toilet. [laughter]

True, it's in the forest. [Ajahn
chuckles] So, when you don't have fault

finding, why's he got the better door
than I have? Why can't I have a flat

door? Why do I have to live like this?
This is not right. That's called fault

finding. Instead, this is good enough to
have a good night's sleep. This is off

the ground. So, little by little, you
see, just how fault finding causes so

much problems in life. And of course to
say this, my terms of employment. Now, I

haven't got a contract for the BSWA. So,
my pay is non existent, food just one

meal a day. Most days you get
breakfast these days. But those days,

it's one meal a day. And just all in one
bowl, all gets mixed up. I say, that's

amazing. When you see the way we eat,
and sometimes you just get these things.

You tried to separate them, I must
admit, but was this one occasion, I had

strawberry ice cream on spaghetti
bolognese. [laughter] There's spaghetti

bolognese and it was in one part.
There's some ice cream. And the person

who took my bowl up just must have just
went over the lid. Oh my goodness. So

you're getting bolognese and the
strawberry ice cream was on top of it.

Have you ever had that? [laughter] Why
do you think it's nasty? Why do you

think it's terrible? Actually it is
nasty and terrible. But anyway, I always

say you get a lot of fun being a monk,
as you see. One of the reasons is

because you don't know... treat it
like a kid treats it. it's interesting,

it's joyful. Let's give it a try. See
what happens and tell all your friends

about it afterwards. All the silly
things which you eat. And it also just,

even like working. Now this last few
weeks, because of maybe COVID it's been

quite light. But have you ever had to
work really hard? Do extra work because

of your company, your boss and they
really need a bit of extra help. And you

have to work really late hours, and
sometimes hardly get any sleep at all.

How many of you have done that? Of
course, I've done that many times

before. And many of you have done that.
How do you do that? How can you work

just so hard, and even lose sleep? By
giving it fun, enjoy, seeing the purpose

of it. Every time there's a meditation
retreat on at Jhana Grove now, one of

the nuns is doing that. First time a
retreat is being, oh no, Ayya

Hasapanna's done retreats here before so
I can't say that. This is by Venerable

Munissara. So it's wonderful. Yay,
bhikkhunis are doing retreats now. But

also, that every time I do a retreat
down there, I always end up telling this

story. And those of you who've seen
Jhana Grove Retreat Centre,

state-of-the-art retreat centre. Notice
the floor in the meditation room, it

hasn't got a carpet because we thought
there's some people want to meditate and

they have allergies. So, it's just a
bamboo floor. It's very beautiful, but

on bamboo floor. You know what happens
again, Ajahn Brahm being the builder.

I'm not really the builder, but it's my
project, so I had to make sure

everything was done properly. And it's a
huge project, I asked the person in

charge of doing the building, "Are you
sure it's going to be ready by Easter

2008 or nine or 12? What was it, about
12/13 years ago? 2008. Are you sure it's

going to be ready?" He said, "Yes! No
trouble at all! Well ahead of schedule."

And I should know by now. I'm really
stupid. I trust people too much. Because

it wasn't. It was a real rush.
Especially the last day. We're going to

have the opening ceremony, it was on
the Easter retreat. And we're going to

have it on Friday, the Good Friday. And
we invited even the the former Premier,

Geoff Gallop. He was gonna, he still is
the what do you call it? The patron of

Jhana Grove Retreat Centre. And he was
gonna come and open it for us. And as

soon as the opening was finished, we're
gonna have our retreat, the 8/9 day

retreat, and we had all this ceremony
all arranged. And you know what

happened? You know what happened? It
wasn't finished. Thursday evening. Half

the floor had not been laid. It was just
concrete. Half the floor was finished.

Half the floor was bare concrete. We
tried to get floor makers in to come and

finish it off for us. Would they work on
Thursday evening, before the long

weekend? No way. So what happened? Duh
duh duh, in come the monks like the

seventh cavalry to save the day again.
And it was brilliant. It's beautiful.

Ajahn Brahmali and Ajahn Santutthi, they
were the main collaborators. They worked

till 4am. All night. 4am. And that's a
beautiful job they did. If you sit on

that, when every time I see that, I feel
so much joy and happiness. Just

finishing off like that. They had a lot
of fun. A lot of joy, not sleeping,

working hard. Had an hour or two to
sleep before we started the ceremony in

the morning, big ceremony all day. Have
a look at it. It's gorgeous. That is how

we work. Do we get paid? Imagine if we
did get paid. There'll be it's Easter.

So that's double time. Overnight, that's
double time again.

So, night time work, oh, they could have
made a fortune.

If we were paid. But we don't do that.
Do it for the fun of it, the joy of it

because you don't have fault finding.
You have the opposite. Joy finding,

beauty finding. And that's one of the
reasons why we don't get paid, we get

exploited. Please exploit us some more.
We don't think like other people. So

instead, we just see the joy of doing
these things and the wonder of doing

these things, which means the fault
fighting is not there. So we don't get

upset and don't argue. And if you notice
carefully, there is a mistake in that

floor. Have any of you seen it? It's in
the corner, which is closest to the

entrance door. Doesn't quite match. But
that's beautiful. It doesn't have to

match and be perfect. And you know, the
only people who know that, now you

probably know that now, only people who
really know that are the people who did

it. Have you ever noticed what you do
yourself, you can see all the faults in

it. And other people comes, "Oh, what a
beautiful painting job you did. Oh, what

a wonderful thing you did with that
laying the carpet or whatever. What a

beautiful garden you have." You see the
faults but other people don't. Why? It

is because the biggest fault finder of
all is ourselves to what we do. And of

course I can't go past this story about
fault finding or why people just have

such a difficult life together with
themselves or with their partner or

their family was the old two bad bricks
in a wall story. And you heard it so

many times. But it's it's one of my
favourite stories of my own life being a

monk. Bodhinyana Monastery in
Serpentine. When we first got there, we

didn't have, we were in debt. We had
this land. That's why we had to get the

doors from the salvage yard. Not a
salvage yard, it was a tip. We knew

where the tip was. So we got two best
doors we could which other people have

thrown away. And so we didn't have any
place to stay. Just sleep out. So while

we built things and remember I was the
main builder there and I went to the

councils, to be able to stay here what,
what do we really need. And they said

like health and safety. So it was like
toilets. So the first thing which we

built was our toilet block. People
thought we were crazy, can't you build

something more inspiring, like a hall or
kitchen or something? No, we're raising

funds for a toilet block. But that was
all we could do was just to raise funds

for bricks and cement and wood and
concrete and stuff. But oh I told the

other monks this story last week that,
you know, I was really a bad builder in

those days because we didn't know where
to build. And so it was a vacant area

where the toilet block now is. And I
thought wow, we don't have to cut any

trees down so let's build it here. But
you know, the reason why there was no

trees there? It was solid rock
underneath. There's only about a few

inches of soil and then solid sort of
granite. And so once you've made your

decision, your plans to build it there.
You had to build it there.

So what am I gonna do with this
granite. So we tried with picks. That

didn't work. If you ever tried to pick
on granite, your teeth almost fall out

because it's very hard. And so we had
this wonderful fella, used to come here,

came here recently, Cameron, always
remember his name because he had a

licence for explosives. So we've got
explosives, try to blow it up. Remember,

I was only about 28/29 or something at
that time. So it was really good fun. I

must admit I enjoyed it. Just holding
gelignite. And you can't do that these

days because of so many laws and stuff.
And then just blowing it up. Trying to

lower the the cap rocks so we

can put pipes through it. Total waste of
time, but it's good fun. And for those

of you who know Bodhinyana Monastery,
one of those explosions, we just put

rocks on the top of the gelignite to try
and get the force of the explosion to

break up the rock. One of those rocks,
you know where the the monks' places,

one of those rocks went right up to now
where the women's guest quarters are. A

long way, it's almost going into space.
That's very dangerous. Anyway, that's

not recommended, okay? But anyway, once
we just put a slab down, the next thing

was to do the brick work. So I did a lot
of the brick work. And that was my first

brick wall. That's actually the... yeah,
it was that wall, first brick wall. And

that was that story where I really took
my time. And I was really mindful. And

really careful. Come on, you got to do
this properly. Because otherwise, when

people come, they wouldn't put any money
in the donation box. So I'll be wasting

it. So, I've finished my first brick
wall. And when I looked at it, oh my

goodness, I'd really stuffed up, stuffed
up big time, because the two bricks were

crooked. Oh, my goodness, what can I do?
So what would you do. Two bad bricks,

you know, you get sort of a trowel and
try and scrape out the mortar to reset

them. But that mortar was just like
rock, like diamond. You couldn't take it

out at all. What can I do? So the next
idea which came into my head, oh you've

heard the story before. The meaning
behind this, when you elaborate on it is

really powerful. The next thing I
decided to do, they had a senior monk

who had the best door. And I asked him,
"Have you got enough money to buy some

more of that gelignite and blow up the
wall? So I can start again." That's what

I wanted to do. And if we had, I
would've done that. Just blow it up and

start again. Because those two bad
bricks, they spoiled the whole wall, in my

mind. And it really did, for me. Every
time, I actually had nightmares about

that, well, you know what happens, you
are in there on your door. And you wake

up in the middle of the night, oh my
goodness, what have I done? Spoiled the

first building. And when any visitors
came and I took them out to see

how the building work was going and I'd

take them, I always take them so they
wouldn't see my mistakes, show them

something else. Because I was really
embarrassed. I thought I was, like many

people, I was a perfectionist. I didn't
want anyone else to see my mistakes. So

I wanted to hide it, blow it up, do
something. But then what happened, the

beautiful part of the story. And I don't
know who it was. If anybody hears this

and they tell me that it was them who
said this, I'd just bow to you. Because

you taught me so much with a simple
statement. I was with this gentleman.

And they saw those two bad bricks. And
they said, "what a beautiful wall that

was." Sometimes people say those things
just to try and suck up to you and

trying to praise you or whatever. I
don't know why. He said, "It's a

beautiful wall" and I said, "Are you
blind? Have you left your, are you

visually challenged?" That was what I
used to say in those days. "Can't you

see the two mistakes which spoiled the
whole wall?" And what they said next was

just absolutely brilliant. They said,
"Yes, I can see those two crooked

bricks, but I can also see the 998
perfect bricks." And that really shook

me. It shook me because that was the
first time in three months that I could

see anything other than my mistakes. It
was weird, because it was like when

you're pass that wall, your eyes would
just go to two bricks, and you wouldn't

see anything else. You thought of it,
you just thought of your mistakes. You

dreamed of it, you dreamed of your
mistakes. And he said, "There's bricks

to the left, right above and below those
mistakes; perfect, beautiful bricks.

It's a beautiful wall." You know what?
He was right. It was a beautiful wall.

And from that day on, it's not just that
I didn't need to blow up that wall. I

didn't need to feel ashamed of it. I
learned how not to be such a fault

finder, and to focus on two tiny
mistakes. And forget about all the other

beautiful things in that wall. I told
that story so many times. And you may

have heard it so many times, you
probably know it better than I do. I

will often say that, with my stories,
I've heard more times than anybody,

because I tell them or write them down
in books. But, what it really meant, it

was pointing out a part of psychology.
Why do men and women who've got married,

why do they divorce? Why do boyfriends
and girlfriends separate? Why do people

who have been friends for years

suddenly decide they can't stand
each other any longer?

Two bad bricks in a wall. That's why.

And they can't see the other beautiful
bricks in the wall.

I've been telling it to quite a few
people that that was the very first

story of my first book, Two Bad Bricks
in a Wall. And that was when that was

published and got popular. I got this
invitation to go to Bangkok. Four

couples in the Australian Embassy in
Bangkok had marital trouble. Two were

divorced. They've gone through the
divorce proceedings. Two were separated

but not divorced yet. When they read
that story, they came together again.

Amazing, they were divorced. But they
decided to come together again,

separated ones came together again. And
they wanted to see me. They want to say

thank you. So they bought me an airline
ticket to go to Bangkok, paid

everything. So I gave a talk for the
people in the Australian Embassy in

Bangkok. Say thank you. It worked. How
does it work? Of course it works because

especially when you're living with
somebody, your partner, of course you

see faults in them. If we've got that
fault finding mind, after a while, you

think why did I ever marry this person?
I must have been dumb. I must have been

drunk on drugs or something. Why did I
marry her? Woah I must have been dumb to

marry him. Have you ever felt like that?
You don't look at it that way. You're

looking at it, and as I often say,
sitting here. Yeah, he's not perfect.

But then neither are you, are you? So
you're a match. [laughter] Put it

bluntly. But you don't just look at the
bad things, look at the good things in

that person. And there's so many of
them. And that's what they were doing.

They're seeing the not the bad bricks in
the wall, but the beautiful bricks in

the wall. Of the person they were living
with. Actually they're not that bad a

person after all. Little by little, you
notice that seeing the faults in things,

the mistakes which people make, the sort
of stupid things we do from time to

time. Those seeing those faults and
focusing on them, that becomes the fault

finding mind. And at the least you
wanted to destroy things, to blow up

things, to go to the lawyers and get the
separation, ask for compensation, or

whatever it is. That fault finding mind
creates so much damage in this world.

I wanted to blow up that wall. And I would
have done if we had any money. And if

that kind person had not come up and
told me that solution. There's other

bricks in the wall. But I can't go past
the two bad bricks story without one of

the other stories. I told that story. It
is one of my favourite stories to tell

to people with cancer. You've got
cancer, you've got a tumour in you

somewhere. Is that all you've got in
your body? Just one or two tumours, two

bad bricks in your wall? This is
actually quite challenging, but it

works. Anyway, after I told that story
at the cancer group, this builder came

up. I love this ending to the story.
This builder came up to me and said

"Ajahn Brahm, you don't have to worry
about making mistakes. All builders make

mistakes. There doesn't exist a perfect
bricklayer." But he told me, said, "This

is a secret." He said. And of course,
you all know the secret by now. If you

don't know, you can hear it in a few
moments. "The secret is that when as a

builder we make a mistake like that, two
crooked bricks, we tell our client that

it's a feature. There's no other house
in Perth like this, we charge them an

extra couple of $1,000." And I just love
that ending to the story because it's

true. The things which are wrong, the
things which we think that we

should fix up, the things we find fault
with; are they really that bad or are

they beautiful features of life? So, you
don't find fault with things or want to

fix it or destroy it, or hide it. The
faults become the beauty. We learn so

much from seeing those faults. So, one
of the things, you'll see the faults in

your partner. Aw come on, just it makes
life a bit more interesting and

fascinating and have some fun with
that. I remember those days, I used

to go and help my.. when mother was still
alive. It's Mother's Day on Sunday,

isn't it? Yes, I'm just remembering my
old mother. She died a long time ago.

But anyway, when I used to go and visit,
I was a monk, monks can visit their

mothers. So when I used to go, now how
could I do something instead of just

sitting next to my mother and watching
the TV, which she did most of the time. I

wanted to actually to do something to
help her so yeah, I was a bit of a

builder, fit, healthy. So I decided to
do some decoration for her in her little

apartment. So painting the ceiling. And
then I told my mom she said why is most

''why are we using so much paint?'',
she asked me. I said because ''most of it

ends up on the floor'', because I was
painting the ceiling. So it happens

of course it's really hard to paint on the
ceiling, most of it just falls off.

I wasn't that skilled. Instead of
actually finding fault, I had a lot of

fun and joy doing things like that. So
little by little, instead of like

looking at faults, you should look at
the beautiful side of life. You are not

the most perfect painter but the fact I
was trying for my mom and doing the best

I possibly could. So that makes life
much more warm. And also, I've been

doing that for such a long time, I don't
find fault with myself every time my

robe slips off. Oops you don't use it to
criticise yourself I don't find fault

with myself either. That's why I don't
improve [laughter] Do you want to

improve? Do you want me to improve?
[laughter] Do you want your partner to

improve? Sometimes I say this and
there's something to this. Send them to

a retreat. If you want your husband to
be much more kind and sensitive, and

easygoing and more amenable in every
which way, send him to meditation

retreat. It works. Just like when you
have a car, you send it to the garage to

get tuned up. That's what we do at
meditation retreats, tune up husbands

and wives as well. It is actually true.
There was this guy, good old story. It's

years and years ago, we had
these weekend retreats; he always wanted

to go on a weekend retreat. He told me
this story. It's a beautiful story. And

when there was a weekend retreat, he
said to his wife, "Can I go on the

weekend retreat?" "What are you talking
about? We got to do the shopping, the

cleaning, look after the kids, take them
here. Go to the dentist, gotta mow the

lawn. There's too much to do." You can
understand that. You know, having a

family, having a house, there's so much
you have to do on weekends. So she said

no. But he was very persistent. Any
husbands here who wanna go on retreats,

this is how it's done. [laughter] He
asked next retreat, he asked again,

"There's a retreat on, can I go?" "No,
of course you can't go! Mother's coming

this weekend. The kids need to be taken
here and taken there to their sports and

there's so much cleaning. You've got to
clean up the shed. You promised to do

that for weeks." Okay. And he was
persistent. This is a trick. Guys. I

never been married. But I know all about
it, how it works. [laughter]

One day he said, "Oh there's another
retreat on." I don't know how many times

he said this but, "there's a retreat on
this weekend. Can I go?" She was so fed

up with him. "Ok, you go on your stupid
retreat and leave me with the kids on

the shopping and the cleaning." He took
that as a "yes" and went. [laughter]

It's only for the weekend. She was
really annoyed at him. But then when he

came home, he came home, he was really
changed, like soft and kind and lots of

loving kindness, and not fault finding
and peaceful and very helpful, you know,

when you do your little chores in the
kitchen. And they learn how to do this

and cook that and she was amazed at the
change in her husband. Just a weekend

and what a most wonderful guy he was to
live with. This is absolutely true. The

next time there was a retreat, he came
on a retreat. "And so, you've got

permission from your wife to go on a
retreat again?" He said, "No, I didn't

have permission to go, she just gave me
the money and sent me." [laughter]

because what was happening there was
they saw the results of a person who

learns how not to be so fault finding.

Imagine your partner/husband/wife. If
you could actually take all that fault

finding away.

Imagine what a beautiful person that
will be to live with. And instead, just

appreciating the goodness and the
kindness, you know in people and in the

house and the place you live. That
positivity. What a wonderful person that

will be to live with. So that's one of
the reasons why to learn how to let go

of the fault finding mind and appreciate.
When things do go wrong, they're the

features of life! That's where we learn
and we grow, when things go wrong. This

is how I was taught by Ajahn Chah, the
teacher. Every time I did something

stupid, it caused my teacher to laugh so
much. I think that's why he had lots of

Western monks, Ajahn Chah, to entertain
him.

(Ajahn laughing)

All these stupid stories, there was one
of these young ladies who came from

England. As her father was head of the
English Sangha Trust, that's the people

who run the monasteries in England. So
he gave her a, I think, 18th birthday

present to go to Bangkok, Thailand, but
she came up to the monastery for a few

days. And in the place we had for
visiting lay people, actually I built

that one, I remember building that
place. And because they had squat

toilets, yeah, there are squat toilets
in Asia. You know what about people who

can't use a squat toilet, had to sit
down so we had a little thing we could

actually put on the top of the squat
toilet, you know, which made it look

like a western toilet. We had that just
put in the corner somewhere just for

storage. And this young lady, 18 years
of age, said, "Oh that's a toilet." She

sat on it. I did a number two, on the
floor. [laughter] When she came to

apologise, we said, "No thank you!
That's made our day. We're going to tell

that story for years afterwards."
[laughter]

It wasn't fault fighting. Instead, tell
us some more mistakes you did. You know,

you've seen the spittoons we use for
monks, we haven't got any here. But you

know, in the dining area, the old
spittoons. Of course, some people, they

are visiting a monastery the first time.
Oh come and have something to eat. So

they get the, they see the monks with
these beautiful bowls. They see these

little spittoons and so that's what they
put their food in.

Oh, we get so much laughter by not
having any rules put down there and just

people learning. There's nothing wrong
with doing things like that. You don't

get embarrassed about it. And of course,
you know, the first time I learnt the

Thai language, many of the Thai people
know this story. That very early days in

Thailand, all the monasteries were very
poor. Wat Pah Pong where Ajahn Chah

lived when I first went was really poor.
So whenever you got anything, they had a

big water jar. And you just put those
things in the water jar, maybe

toothpaste or toothbrushes, or anything
you needed, like a towel. And so if you

needed something, you just go and ask
Ajahn Chah and say, "I need some

toothpaste" and he just look inside
there and said, "There is some. " and

just give it to you. So this time I
needed some soap, obviously you know to

wash. But you had to ask in Thai so you
know my Thai was not that good. So, the

word for "soap" is S̄bū̀, not
"S̄ạbpard". It's hardly any differences

there, "S̄ạbpard" ,"S̄bū̀" but
apparently "S̄ạbpard" means pineapple.

So, I asked my great master, "Can I have
a pineapple, please?" [laughter]

And he said to me, he's very kind, he
said, "What do you want the pineapple

for?" I said, "To wash!" He never let me
forget that. He said, "Oh, you know

people in England, you know, they don't
use soap like us. They are far more

advanced, they use pineapples.
[laughter] This Western culture is way

ahead of ours." So, your mistakes cause
so much laughter and joy and happiness.

So, why be a fault finder? That builder
was absolutely true. You know, when he

said, when we make a mistake, it makes
it more beautiful. It's a feature and we

charge people more for that. There's
more truth in that than you recognise.

So it's the same when we don't have a
fault finding mind.

How we can live together in peace and
harmony so easily. You see people do

stupid things. I have stupid ideas. When
it's the same as when we meditate, you

don't have a fault finding mind, how
powerful meditation becomes. I mentioned

that, if you are smart enough, the
meditation which I taught today, I call

it the Emperor's three questions.
Emperor's three questions meditation.

Now is the only time you have. What's
the most important thing to be aware of

when you're meditating? Watch your
meditation object? People keep telling

me. Should we be watching the breath?
Where should we be watching our breath?

How should we be watching the breath?
Should we be watching something else,

watching our body. Watch this go up.
that go down. What should we be doing?

What should we be watching? And the answer
was whatever's in front of your mind

right now is the most important
meditation object in the whole world.

That is a brilliant answer. And that
actually comes from a Tolstoy story,

which you've heard me say that
before the Emperor's three questions.

Most important time is now, easy one.
The most important person this one right

in front of you. Dorothy, you're the
most important person in the world for

me right now. Not anymore. [laughter]
What that meant is you really pay

attention to what's happening right in
front of you, right in this moment, even

in meditation and then what do you do?
There's this beautiful saying, you care.

You don't find fault or want to get rid
of it and go somewhere else.

You care for this moment, even if it's
unpleasant. You're having a difficult

day. Be with it. It's teaching you
something. All the times I've had

sicknesses, pains, COVID injections or
whatever, instead of getting upset and

angry about it. Whatever happened to
you, you learn from it. You welcome it.

You care for it.

It's amazing when you're in difficult
situations, how you can care for things.

And when you care for things,
it's like you'r all in it-togetherness.

What's the time? Oh, yeah,
have any of you ever stayed? Was it

in the? It is the Hilton in Perth. I
spent one night in the Hilton Hotel in

Perth. What happened was going
international flight somewhere. I forget

where it was going to. But you'd already
checked in, you know, through the

immigration and stuff. So you're
technically not in Australia. But then

the flight was cancelled or something
was wrong with it. So they had to put us

all in hotel for the night. I couldn't
go back to Bodhinyana Monastery.

Couldn't come back to here even. Because
you know, you had to be quarantined. You

weren't really in Australia, but you
know, you physically were in Australia.

So, I've got a night in the hotel. Yay!
And a nice meal in the morning. Yay! Is

that good? I thought it was interesting.
I enjoyed it. Only time I could ever go

in a hotel in Perth, just stay the night
for free. Forget what the airline was.

But anyway, so when things go wrong for
me in my life, it's not really wrong at

all. It's always opportunities,
different ways of looking at things and

have fun, and joy. So little by little,
you find that when you don't have a

fault finding mind, there's so much joy
and different experiences you can have

in whatever happens during this life,
can be meditation. When I realise if I'm

sleepy, sleepiness is the most important
thing in the world for me.

And I care for it.

I don't try and get rid of it. That's
negativity. I don't try and want

something else. That's just craving. I'm
with whatever I have to do. And I enjoy

it. Whenever I get put in these
situations as a monk, which I know

nothing about, sometimes like I told you
that time when I went to the 2019 World

Computer Conference in South Korea. I'm
not, you know, you know, about my

computer skills. I don't know much what
I'm doing, I managed to, but I went and

it was a keynote address. Okay, and all
these big companies like Google and

Samsung and LG, they were all there. And
Ajahn Brahm, the Buddhist Society of

Western Australia; we were there in the
World Computer Conference. They kept on

asking me, "What are you doing here?"
Well, life is really interesting being a

Buddhist monk. Or going to that state
dinner at Parliament House in Canberra.

How many of you been to a state dinner?

I have. Could I eat? No, because I can't
eat in the evening. Still went though.

That beautiful story of how I got the
invitation. That was when John Howard,

he was the prime minister when Queen
Elizabeth for the Melbourne. Is it

Commonwealth Games? Yeah. I remember
Commonwealth Games. So I went there that

one, for the state dinner. I wasn't
competing in the Commonwealth Games,

although really I should have done the
high jump. It's very easy. If you can

levitate, you know, just high jump,
which should be pretty easy. [laughter]

But then, then when you got the
invitation, got this big, this is like

big invitation dinner with Queen
Elizabeth. Woah. And so we've got the

card. I think I still got it somewhere.
I have to search for it somewhere. But

anyway, you are invited to dinner at
State Parliament House with Queen

Elizabeth and Prince Philip, requested
company of the Venerable Ajahn

Brahmavamso. Wow, how can you refuse
that? Until you see the dress code.

[Laughter] This is true. I told this
story many times,

but it's a wonderful story.

The first item for dress code, because you
can't just walk in there. You gotta

have, it's a formal dinner. Crikey. So,
the first option of dress was called a

black tie. I've never been to a state
dinner before. I don't know what they

wear. Is that what you wear? Just a tie.
No trousers, no shoes. [laughter] It's

code. Code means a jacket, nice shoes
and trousers and stuff. I can't go

wearing that. I haven't got one.
And the next, the next option

was military uniform. Oh come on, I'm a
Buddhist monk, I'm a pacifist, you can't

have a military uniform. So I was losing
hope. Until I saw the third option.

That's right. Long dress. [laughter] So,
I walked up in long dress. It's the only

thing I had. And then, the security
grabbed me. They did. [laughter] They

said, "Are you supposed to be in here,
sir?" And I got out my invitation. "Yes,

I'm supposed to be in here."
"Okay, go in."

So you have a lot of fun. You know, when
you know, you don't sort of find

fault. And you just allow the life. If
the things are really, really wrong, you

find out if you don't find fault with
things, but to be calm, and kind and

care. A lot of times you can heal a lot
of difficult situations, sickness and

ill health. How much in your body is not
sick? This is one of those reasons. I

can't keep on talking for too long but
when I told that story, or this story

about fault finding mind, in the
Institute of Mental Health in Singapore

that time. When afterwards, this guy was
a Catholic and he said, "Can you please

come to my ward in the Institute of
Mental Health to bless my ward?" I said,

"Yeah, of course. But you're a Catholic.
You're okay with this?" He said, "Oh, it

doesn't matter." But he said, "I really
appreciate what you've been teaching and

your attitude." And I was really
interested to find out what have I done?

What have I taught, which makes a
Catholic want to invite a Buddhist monk

to bless his ward. And he said, "What
are you doing here?" And he was the

professor of schizophrenia in Singapore.
Professor. And he said, "That's my ward,

we treat people who are admitted with
schizophrenia. You know, very extreme

cases." I think you've all had
experiences of seeing other people with

schizophrenia. It's a terrible disease.
It's so hard to look after. And then I

asked him, I knew there was something up
here somewhere. I said, "How do you

treat schizophrenia as a professor, as a
boss, the head guy in Singapore." And he

said, "I, just as you said Ajahn Brahm,
I don't treat schizophrenia as a

professor of schizophrenia in Singapore.
I treat the other part of the patient,

which isn't schizophrenic." And I knew
what I'd said before, and I knew exactly

what he meant there. And it's not
supposed to be done, especially in Thai

tradition, to put your hands out to a
lay person out of respect. Well, I did

that. I respected that fellow, Sadhu
Sadhu Sadhu, you've understood, you've

got it. There's no such thing as a
person with schizophrenia. This person

who has schizophrenic moments, they're
not always schizophrenic. There's

another part to them as well. They show
schizophrenia. That's really so

debilitating often. What about the other
part of them? You don't see the faults.

You see the other part, which is
beautiful. And you go and see people in

jail, Murderers, gangsters. I remember
seeing, was it Ronnie Kray, one of the

London Eastern gangsters once. You see
all these people who've done some really

terrible, terrible, hurtful crimes, but
I'd never saw a criminal. Never seen a

criminal, a thief, a rapist or murderer
yet,

you see the person. A person who has
done those terrible, terrible acts.

There's more to them than the acts for
which they have been put in prison for.

You see, there's more to that person who's
suffering from schizophrenia moments.

And that's what I was teaching. That's
what the professor saw. Fault finding

mind just sees the faults and thinks
that's all that's there. I just saw

there was just two bad bricks and I
couldn't see any other bricks in my

wall. When it was pointed out to me, it
wasn't such a bad wall after all. When

it's pointed out, that person is very
sick and pointed out to them to. They

are more than their schizophrenic acts.
Your husband, your wife, your poor kid

you love to bits, but is not doing that
well at school. What do I always say, if

your kid is coming in the top 5% or
bottom 5% at school, you are not a good

Buddhist parent. Buddhism, we celebrate
the Middle Way. [laughter] Avoid

extremes. You may think that's just a
joke. But that's actually quite

heartwarming for many people, because
most people are in the middle there

somewhere. So if they happen to be
smart, fine. But if they happen to be

dumb, and you think that's terrible.
Come on, you can do better than that.

No, that's who they are. So when you
acknowledge them right there and

they are your kid, your partner, your
relation, that schizophrenia, episodes of.

They're right in front of you, how
they're acting right now, the most

important thing in the world, care for
them.

Don't try and cure them. Don't try and
cure the two bad bricks in the wall.

They are the feature. Don't try and get
rid of the faults in life,

The faults in the government. The faults
in, what else, is the faults in the

weather. How about caring for it
instead? And yourself, your meditation,

don't try and cure all the difficult
things you experience in meditation.

I told that to many monks, if you have
difficulty calming your mind, wonderful.

Because it's so much a longer journey
into deep meditation for you. You find

it difficult, you'll be a far greater
teacher than I can ever be because you

know you have all this wide experience
of what it's like to get lost and how

it's like to get back on the path again.
I've had too easy a life in my

meditation. So you'd be a much greater
meditation teacher than I. Sadhu Sadhu

Sahu. In other words, you can see the
benefits, whenever you have difficulties

and troubles in life. That's where we
learn. That's where we grow. They're the

tests, whereby we learn much greater
depth of wisdom, compassion, peace and

acceptance. We learn that you don't need
to be perfect, for goodness sake.

If you are perfect, you'll be just a
pain in the ..

in the a-double s. In other words, you
know, you all have your difficult,

different idiosyncrasies. Like me, I
tell these stupid jokes all the time.

Can I finish with that stupid joke about
shopping? Did I tell that last week?

Okay. Where does a one-armed man go
shopping?

Where does a man with only one arm
go shopping?

In the second-hand shop. [Laughter]
Thank you for putting up with me.

Sadhu, Sadhu Sadhu!

Sometimes that's what people ask, Who got
to talk this evening, Ajahn Brahm?

what jokes did he tell?

And sometimes that's all people
remember.

Anyway, we've got some questions
from overseas.

First of all those who need to go back
can go back now.

I promise I won't tell any bad jokes.

From Germany, how can I stop thinking
of things I did wrong?

And I cannot say I'm sorry,
because the people are dead.

They come up by themselves, I
do not look, where do they come from?

Things you did wrong. All the things
which you did in your life, if you think

they are wrong, don't ever think like
that. They are learning experiences.

When you are at school, and you make a
mistake, that's where you learn.

So you can't expect to be perfect,
because we're learning here.

So thinking of things which you did
wrong, doesn't help at all.

And we actually think way too much.

So instead of thinking, feel.

We celebrate thoughts too much
in our culture.

We just don't celebrate,
don't get rid of your thoughts.

Thoughts are great,
but I think we're overdoing it.

And we're not feeling
and experiencing much.

So, you may be going down the beach
and you're thinking, thinking, thinking

and you are missing the
beautiful sunset, which is happening.

Or you can be worried about COVID, that
you can't travel here, can't travel there.

You can always travel to Bodhinyana
Monastery or Dhammasara Monastery

and see the beautiful people there.

So, there's always different ways of
looking at things.

So, don't think of things you did wrong.

How about thinking of things
you did right.

If you think about the
things you did right,

that's much better than thinking
the things you did wrong.

But not thinking at all.

Then, instead of listening to the words
going on in your brain,

you can see the life which is actually
happening right now around you.

From Hong Kong, next question,

I'm living with a fault
finding person finding faults with me.

How can I stay calm within myself?

Now you're finding fault with your partner
because she finds faults with you.

[Laughter]

Allow her to find faults with you.

And suddenly she'd find a
really good fault.

I don't know, can you laugh?

When people find fault with you,
stupid things which you do.

So anyway, if you can have more
lightheartedness,

you're living with a
fault finding person.

But you are the same.

Are you a fault finding person?

Then probably say yeah, you're the same.

So you are a match after all.

But anyway, finding faults with you,

see if you can encourage the beautiful
side of you to see that as well.

We all have faults,

I got many faults,
Ananda's got many faults.

Each one of you got heaps of faults.
You all know that, don't you?

So instead of finding faults. How about
finding the beauty in somebody?

Their good qualities. Their kindness.
Wonderful things they've done.

And celebrate that.

From Pennsylvania.

Dear Ajahn, how do you quiet the fault
finding forces in your mind

ingrained in childhood by people you
trusted like parents?

Yeah, you had that put in you.

You're not good enough.
You're not smart enough.

You're not beautiful enough.

But then you tune in every Friday night
to the BSWA

and you hear just how beautiful you are,
how wonderful you are.

So treat me like a dad and Ananda
like mum. [Laughter] Oh no, sorry,

Ayya Hasapanna, as a dad or mum.

And you'll find when you associate
with wise people and smart people

rather than with people who are
not really so highly attained,

then actually you get so much more uplift.

You know, sometimes people go to
places like Bodhinyana Monastery.

I was just talking to
Venerable Bodhidhaja,

how many monks are supposed to be
there for the rains retreat.

There's a huge number of people coming for
our rains retreat at Bodhinyana Monastery.

We keep on building new huts, they
get filled up straight away.

And I think it's 23 or something.

Huge number of monks over
there. Why do they like going there?

There's other monasteries which they
don't want to go. Why?

Why do you like going to Bodhinyana
Monastery or Jhana Grove or to here?

Why, instead of going somewhere
else on a Friday night?

It's more than just peace.
It's the kindness there.

The fact you are not judged.
You find that you're accepted.

You know, how many of you are perfect?
How many of you deserve

to go to Jhana Grove?

If you think like that,
because none of you.

But then after a while
you feel you're good enough.

This beautiful sense of seeing the
beauty, the goodness, the strength,

the good qualities in yourself.

That's one of the reasons why
Venerable Ananda and many others

during the start of COVID, we asked
all these young monks to give talks,

and put them online.

Have a look at those talks.

These are young monks
just starting off in life.

And they're brilliant,
they're great.

And you tell them, it's great.

They'd say, "Oh, no, no, no, no,
I'm not Ajahn Brahm or Ajahn Brahmali;

mine's not good." But, they are.

And after a while,
you change your attitude that you are

someone who's a beautiful, kind,
wise person.

Once you started,

It was a shock to me. When I
started giving talks, they were hopeless.

They really were.

People walked out the room. Ajahn Brahm
tonight, oh crikey, it's gonna be boring.

But then after a while, you learn, you
grow and you find the beauty in things.

And that's amazing
to be able to see that.

Remember that's after all...
yes ingrained in childhood,

you have to work so hard to actually
to live up to people's expectations.

When you stop trying that;

and this is the only time you have,
this moment.

And the people in front of you are the
most important people in the whole world.

And the only thing to do is to 'care'.

Can you do that? Can you care?

When you're by yourself,
you see yourself with all your faults,

Care.
Don't try and fix up your faults.

Sometimes, some of the senior people in
our Buddhist Society,

"Ajahn Brahm, you should,
you know we really care about you,

you should learn how to
lose some weight."

I said, "No! Because if I did that,

I'd embarrass all the other monks
who are overweight.

So I sacrifice myself for all the other

members of our Buddhist Society
who are overweight."

So, they can say, "See Ajahn Brahm,
I follow Ajahn Brahm."

[laughter]

Out of kindness, we do that.

So in other words, you don't try
and kill yourself. Care for yourself.

Anyway, from Portugal.
How can I overcome....

And your parents... you trusted them,

they tried to do their best .. trying
and make you into a beautiful person.

But sometimes we try and make
someone into a good person,

we criticise them too much.

Yeah, your parents criticise
you way too much.

They didn't realise they're doing
something which was hurtful.

They're trying to encourage you
to do much better.

But how many times do I criticise you,
Ananda?

How many times should I
criticise you? [laughter]

I find that that's not the way to
get the best out of people.

Build them up. Praise them whenever
they do something good.

And then they just want to do better.

From Portugal, how can I come..
Oh, how can I overcome

long-time hate I feel for my father's
past violent behaviour?

Oh you poor. I'm saying this as poor you
because I'm not quite sure what he did.

But your poor father, he probably still
loves you and feels very embarrassed

about that and he didn't
really know what to do.

Because sometimes we react out of
what we think is the best.

But it all goes pear-shaped,
we don't do the right thing.

So eventually, hopefully
your father will learn

but getting angry at him or
trying to push him out of your life

is not going to help your father at all.

Okay, here's a bit of a two- or
three-minute story,

as many of you know,
because I've said it a few times before.

My father... he was a very kind man.
But he would never tell me about

my paternal grandfather,
my father's dad.

And it was frustrating for me
every time I asked him,

"How was my grandfather like,
in Liverpool?"

He then asked me, "Be quiet".

And then eventually when I was about
14 or 15, I got it out of my dad.

I was persistent, "You got to tell
me because this is my family.

I never saw them because they died during
the second World War before I was born.

So, how was my paternal grandfather like,
and that is when my dad said,

please excuse the word,
but this is what he said.

He said,
"Your grandfather was a bastard."

He said it was just so much
pain in him. That shocked me.

I said, "Why?"

He said he was not a sexual offender,
but a physical offender.

He would come home, almost every evening,
drunk. He was a plumber.

He'd come back drunk,
and he'd take off his belt.

He'd whip any kid, which you know,
he came across.

And then he would start beating
his wife, my dad's mum.

My dad often said that, the pain of just
the end of the belt for no reason at all,

just my father was drunk.

That would never hurt as much as seeing
his mother beaten, for no reason at all.

He said that really hurt,
because he could do nothing

to help someone he loved, my
paternal grandmother, whom I never saw.

But why I say this story for is what my
father did about that.

He was a child at the time,

he could do nothing, except to
make this resolution.

He told me, he shared it with me
this time.

He said, "When I was at the end of a
beating for no reason,

just because my father was drunk,
I made this resolution that

if ever I survive and have kids myself;
and of course he did, me and my brother.

If ever I survive, I will never ever do
that to my kids.

I won't use corporal punishment at all.

I'd always remember that.

Because I remember several times,

brother and I were naughty,
just ordinary kids.

And sometimes, he'd come into
our bedroom with a slipper.

He just couldn't do it.

He'd just put the slipper down
and walked out,

because he remembered just
what it was like for him.

And he said, he'd made that
resolution and he was going to keep it

When he told me that, it really inspired
me that even if you have been physically

abused by someone, you can turn that
into something beautiful,

like my father did.

He said, "He knows what it's like,
so he would never do that to anybody."

That was really moving when he told me
that story.

That's why I shared with you.

Hey, I feel for your father. Don't know
why your father did that.

I sort of understand why my grandfather,

Once you get drunk,
his life had very little meaning.

Depression is struggling to get by.
Big house,

The only fun he had was going
to the pub and getting drunk.

And it was the beer
which is causing that violence.

Anyway, last question from Singapore.

Of course I can understand this
is from Singapore.

How do you balance pushing forward
working hard,

despite sickness or tiredness and
being kind to your body

because it's tough in places
like Singapore

because everybody works
really, really really, really hard.

And just like Ajahn Santhutthi and
Ajahn Brahmali working all night,

to finish off the ...
actually they sent me to bed,

"Go off Ajahn Brahm, you gotta look after
people tomorrow morning."

And doing all that work on the
bamboo floor.

They did that because it was a great
sacrifice for their body.

And I didn't actually go to the point
that sometimes I work very hard.

Crazy stuff I did with when I was
teaching,

going off to flying to Singapore.
And as soon as you land giving a talk,

and then just starting a retreat and the
amount of hours that you count them,

just talking to people and
teaching, which is endless.

You get very very tired but you
keep on going.

And one of the things which I got lots of
energy out is from inspiration.

Pushing hard forward, working hard.
This is for a really important goal.

Like finishing off a retreat centre.
That's amazing.

A retreat centre so you can go meditate
in comfort and beauty,

Or it's like building like a
nuns monastery.

I always get inspired by bhikkhunis

because I know how rare that
is and how beautiful it is to have equity.

You have people of
both genders able to live a monastic life

just like everybody else.

It's rare here getting people who are
gays, lesbians, transgenders, whatever,

come in welcome.

They are not just rejected,
which is crazy stuff.

So anyway, we push forward.

And of course, sometimes,
I just get suffering from that,

punished for that physically.
But I get so inspired.

And being rejected from all those friends
I grew up with as a monk, in Thailand,

when I gave the ordination to bhikkhunis.

They said, "Do you regret that,
Ajahn Brahm?"

Not a tiny bit, it's a beautiful
inspirational thing to do.

To sacrifice so much, you push forward,

you work hard, sickness, tiredness;
no it needs to be done.

So you just go and do it.

Inspiration is what I use to
overcome tiredness,

if it's something which really
needs to be done,

worthwhile doing, get out there and do it.

Physically, you feel tired at the
end of the day,

but emotionally, you feel just so high.

And at the end of the week,
when you're caught up on your rest,

you feel so wonderful, that was
really worthwhile doing.

So whenever you see something
which really needs to be done,

don't think about physical tiredness.

You will get physically tired,
but emotionally, you get a big high,

a huge amount of energy for your
mind. And that's much more important.

People otherwise get depressed.
They get fed up. What's the point?

Because they haven't done anything,
which really amounts to something.

So it's amazing what you've all done here.

Even those working in the room back there
doing the IT stuff,

making these talks available
to the world.

And now, oh they've taken it
down the YouTube thing.

we had a big thing there,

just how many people come to.. listen in
every week from overseas.

It's a huge number. Oh they've put it
somewhere else. Okay,

it's up there somewhere. But anyway,

it's amazing how much this goes
around to so many people in our world.

And everyone, because we want
some more people to help

out with the audio-visual work.

It's a huge amount of good kamma
doing things like that.

I can give a talk, Ajahn Brahmali can give
a talk, Ayya Hasapanna can give talks,

Venerable Munissara can give a
retreat down in Jhana Grove this weekend.

But to share that around with people
in places where you don't have any access

at all to such teachings,
that is magnificent!

They always say; the Sri Lankans here,
or those people who know their suttas.

The gift of Dhamma is the greatest gift
you can ever give.

And help share that with other people
in the world. Woah that's huge.

You don't realise it.

Finish off with one of those
silly stories just came to my mind.

Last time I was in the UK,
just getting off the Underground,

going to Paddington station to get to
Oxford where I was going to give a talk.

Just walking through Paddington Station,
just minding my own business.

And this woman came
running towards me and said,

"Are you the YouTube monk?" [laughter]

That's what she called me
"the YouTube monk".

And then, I didn't have time to answer.
She looked me in the face.

"Yes, you are."

And then she said, "I just want to say
thank you to you. You saved my life".

She was going through a divorce,

oh not a divorce, a separation from her
long term partner.

And that she got
really depressed, suicidal.

Doctor couldn't help,
psychologist couldn't help,

psychiatrists, whoever she saw,
none of them could help.

And then she was just
at the end of her rope, as they say;

And then she just managed somehow
or other, to get on YouTube.

And I think she got that one of my
famous talks 'four ways of letting go'.

And she listened to it and
"wow It made so much sense".

She listed about three or four that time,
one after the other.

She said that got her through her crisis.

She told all her friends,

"You must go and listen to these things
as well from the BSWA, all for free."

And then, afterwards, she said, "Thank you
Thank you so much for saving my life."

Not me, I did my bit. But each one of you
who made that talk available.

So a young woman,
she was Afro-English over in UK,

could have her life saved and have so
much joy and happiness meeting,

sort of the YouTube monk

and all the people who
made that possible.

So if you have a little bit of time,
you don't have to come here to do this.

You can be wherever,

if you have some time, internet skills,
wonderful thing to be able to do,

serve and you're part of it.

I see that head on, face on just the
amount of effect this has in our world.

Huge sometimes you don't realise that

you come here on a Friday evening how
many thousands of people, how many is it

just on a like a Friday night talk get
online?

I know that for the
Four Ways of Letting Go,

it's been over a million downloads,
isn't it?

Normally, on Friday nights
we've got about 600 people online.

but when they download it afterwards?

Okay there's much more than that
because I think that

"Four Ways of Letting Go"
went over a million.

A million people in the world watched
that. Huge. Goosebumps. So anyway,

that's actually hard work
but you just push forward

because it inspires you and you get
a huge amount of energy back.

Okay, any other questions from the floor?
Okay,

You don't need to read people's minds,

one of the most important
questions at this time is

"Can we go now?"

So, we can now bow three times to
Buddha Dhamma Sangha

then we can go our own ways.

Araham samma-sambuddho bhagava
Buddham bhagavantam abhivademi.

Svakkhato bhavata dhammo.
Dhammam namasami.

Supatipanno bhagavato
savaka-sangho. Sangham namami.