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Dealing with emotional grievors
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Members will be emotional. The key is being effective.
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If they want to sploo - that would be my word
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It should be with you. They should be addressing the effect
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of the employer's actions but in situations where the grievor loses control
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or is disrespectful to an unacceptable point then they're not being heard.
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You have to be their translator.
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You have to calm the defensive employer down off the wall
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so they can hear you.
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If they really lose it, that's problematic.
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Similarly with the lecturing, it's all a matter of respect.
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If you want it back you've got to give it.
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Yes, educate the employer and don't let them put you down either.
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But I think how that's done is what I picked out from the comments.
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To be effective, it can be done from a tone of anger, it can be done firmly,
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But it should done in control, to be listened to.