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We are back!
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Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the
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Daily Show. My name is Jon Stewart...
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We have got a show for you tonight...
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I'm going to be joined late, by
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Rupa Bhattacharyya. She is the
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legal director (AUDIENCE APPLAUSE). OH...
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(Loud audience applause) They know their
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Bhattacharyya'ss... (mumbled under breath)
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(Audience laughter)
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Legal Director of Georgetown Law's
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Institute for Constitutional Advocacy
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and Protection.
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(Emphasized) I know her...as the
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individual who took over administrating
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the 9/11's Zadroga Act
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Victims Compensation and Healthcare Fund
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Uh, for 9/11 first responders and all the
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people that lived down at Ground Zero and
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Uh, uh, and Pennsylvania, the-the -the
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pentagon. So. f***king deep state!
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SHE IS DEEP STATE! (audience laughter)
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And I am going to take it to her asssss..
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(audience laughter) First today the
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United Nations marked the third
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anniversary of the invasion of Ukraine.
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By doing the only the that the United
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Nations can do! Passing a non binding
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resolution asking Russia to
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(whiny voice) "Please stop... Please".
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TAKE THAT PUTIN! Interesting though, uh,
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among the countries voting AGAINST the
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resolution were North Korea, Belarus,
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Russia, obviously, and the
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United States of American. (audience boos)
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They are saying "bruce" (not boo)
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But I guess America doesn't want to set
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the precedent of opposing bloody land
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grabs. (audience clapping and laughing )
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So green. (audience laughing) and land-y.
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But HEY! The century of being the good
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guys in American... you know! Whatever..
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It's not the only this Donald Trump is
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busy disrupting these days. As you know,
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the DOGE project. The Department of
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Government Efficiency, headed up by the
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Nick Cannon of white people, Elon Musk...
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(Audience laughing) Is he???
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... is in full effect! And it may
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surprise you, I for one, happen to be,
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quite frankly, DOGE-curious... I'm
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actually somewhat DOGE-adjacent. So,
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Mr. President, if you would... "We have to
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solve the efficiency problem. We have to
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solve the fraud, waste, abuse... All the
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things that are going on..."
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YES! Now, if you had woken up from a coma,
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and heard nothing else that this man had
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said for the last 10 years, you might
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think to yourself, " I like this guy!".
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(audience laughs) I too believe government
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needs to be more efficient. To weed out
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waste, fraud and abuse. And deliver the
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necessary services that Americans rely on
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more agilely. So what do we do first?
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Pour through the inspector general's
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reports that have been addressing these
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things? Utilize... computer-ish-ness?
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To excise redundancies in the system?
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Find ways to more efficiently deliver the
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government assistance that so many
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Americans rely on? What's first?!
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"Elon Musk and his DOGE team, firing
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thousands of federal workers"
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"They're trying to cut 10% of the federal
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work force. Which is 200,000 jobs".
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....OH!... Have we determined if those are
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effective workers? Is it based on
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performance? Are you going in with a
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scalpel, so that we don't hit any vessels
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or major organs? (Elon Musk screaming and
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reeving chainsaw) "This is the chainsaw
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for bureaucracy! CHAINSAW!".
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(nervous laughing from audience) Sooooo...
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Straight amputation. Just amputation. It's
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like we're treating public servants as
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some kind of underclass.
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(Kari Lake speaking) "The D.C. creature is
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like an animal, infested with ticks and
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parasites". " Our money is lining these
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swamp creatures pockets".
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(Charlie Kirk speaking) "You know what you
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call someone, who sucks up resources in
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return for nothing? You call them a
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parasite. And that is what the Federal
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work force has become".
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(Fox News Anchor Speaking)"These saboteurs
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the dead enders, the DEI undercover
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agents".
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(Trump speaking) "The fraudsters, liars,
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cheaters, globalists and deep state
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bureaucrats... those are being send
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packing".
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YEAH! FUCK YOU! GUY WHO TESTS WATER FOR
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APPROPRIATE LEVELS OF FECAL MATTER!
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(AUDEINCE LAUGHING)What are we talking
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about? WHAT? (A
