Hooray! The Government is Spending Our Money So Wisely!

Hey, turns out the US government has been wasting 
taxpayer money. Wow, who would’ve guessed!

Welcome to America Uncovered. I’m Chris Chappell.

Tell me if you’ve heard this one before: the feds 
are squandering taxpayer money. Shocking, I know. 

Being no fan of government spending, Senator 
Rand Paul put out his yearly Festivus report,  

where he goes over some pretty 
wild government spending. 

The report is a nod to the Festivus holiday 
from the hit sitcom "Seinfeld" , when family  

members share why they are disappointed 
in each other over a holiday meal.

This year’s report lists a bit more than a  

trillion dollars worth of spending 
on some pretty questionable thing.

Now, not everything is shocking. 
Since Paulis a libertarian,  

any big bucket government spending 
projects tend to worry him. 

That’s why he included the combined $15.5 
billion of electric vehicle and battery  

production from both the Department of 
Energy and the Inflation Reduction Act.

And the Department of Defense spending 
a combined $88 billion on Littoral  

Combat Ship production, operation, and support.

L—littoral, that’s how this is pronounced. 
These ships have been a government nightmare,  

and the situation has been widely 
recognized as billions of dollars of  

waste due to the problems plaguing the ships, 
with some having been decommissioned early.

It’s the sunk cost fallacy on 
keeping ships from, well… being sunk.

Paul’s also concerned about all the ways in 
which the US government spends money abroad.

Almost $3 million on Girl-Centered 
Climate Action in Brazil.

Yes, Barbie’s Dream GreenHouse.

Then there’s $2.1 million on 
Paraguayan border security,

Because that really stopped the 
flood of illegal immigrants.

And $14.1 million in promoting fertilizer use 
in Pakistan, Vietnam, Colombia, and Brazil.

Yes, we’re literally spending millions 
on literal *and* figurative crap.

There’s also some weird 
kinds of spending projects.

For example, cocaine rats.

Yes, you heard me right. Cocaine rats.

It’s a miracle the Teenage Mutant Ninja 
Turtles had a good father figure with  

this research going around… though that 
would explain why Splinter was so skinny.

According to Paul’s 2024 report, New York 
University got over $400,000 in grant  

money from the Department of Health and Human 
Services to experiment on rats with cocaine.

What purpose was this supposed to serve?

Ruin their appetite so they 
don’t steal as much pizza?

Well, according to Paul, scientists wanted to 
find out if rats living in hunger, boredom,  

and isolation were more likely to increase drug 
use than rats with food, toys, and company.

And apparently scientists found 
out that being alone without food  

and entertainment leads to more drug use.

$400,000 well spent.

A much more gruesome experiment involves cats.

A $10 million DARPA experiment 
with the University of Pittsburgh…

Wanted to know if electric shocks to exposed cat 
spines via electrodes could induce erections 

and defecation of marbles,

Apparently it was research spinal cord injury  

treatment. I’ve heard of people losing 
their marbles, but this is ridiculous! 

Paul’s Festivus report has exposed a lot 
of this sort of thing over the years.

For instance, have you ever 
wondered if cocaine makes  

Japanese quails more sexually 
promiscuous? I know I have. 

Thankfully the NIH spent over $874,000 to see.

Why are scientists so interested in giving 
animals cocaine? It’s like they learned  

nothing about the dangers of it from that 
award-winning documentary Cocaine Bear.

In 2022, Paul reported that 
the NIH had annually awarded  

Northeastern University grant funds, 
totaling over $3 million since 1996,

To watch steroid-injected hamsters fight 
It was for studying whether current drugs  

for youth suppress steroid-induced aggression. 

And also potentially start their 
own hamster pro wrestling league. 



What’s  

up with the government’s obsession with 
getting animals high, aggressive, and horny?

Look out Hamtaro .

Not all experiments Paul lists sound so  

unreasonable, though. Some at least 
seem to have practical applications.

Though certainly not to Peta .

For example, Paul complains about the National 
Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases  

and the US Department of Agriculture spending 
$2.24 million on Covid experiments done on cats.

This got I Am The Science Dr. Fauci in a 
lot of heat over animal abuse accusations.

But the purpose was to see how easily Covid 
could infect animals and then on to humans,  

which is important for anyone with contact 
with animals, from zookeepers to farmers. 

To scientists giving cocaine to cats.

Not every experiment seemed to 
have a reasonable purpose though. 

For example, the National Health Institute’s 
“medieval-type experiments” on kittens involving  

partial brain removal and spinning 
apparatuses to test motion sickness.

Great. So now we’ll know how many times kittens  

can ride the Gravitron carnival ride 
before spewing up their cotton candy.

The National Science Foundation 
Got almost $300,000 

For creating diverse and inclusive 
affinity groups for bird watchers.

It’s just one of the many ways the 
National Science Foundation promotes DEI.

Though this diagram showing 
ducks belong with ducks,  

geese belong to geese, and parrots belong 
to parrots doesn’t feel very inclusive.

These are the same people who want to prioritize 
certain people based on group identities.

Discriminating based on race sounds 
like something I’ve heard of,  

but I just can't quite remember the word. 

Rand Paul only cited this particular 
instance of DEI, but trust me,  

there’s a whole bunch more being funded by 
the NSF. If you want to learn more about that,  

check this video out. You can find the link below.

Rand Paul’s Festivus reports raise an important 
question we should all be asking ourselves:  

What exactly counts as wasteful spending?

Some might say I engage in wasteful spending by  

buying every new edition they release 
of the entire Gilmore Girls collection,  

while I call those people dullards 
who don’t appreciate physical media! 

It’s very easy to spend other 
people’s money. Especially  

when you’re the government and you can 
force people to give you their money. 

Take San Francisco as an example. The city  

was initially set on spending $1.7 
million on a single public toilet. 

The Rand Paul types think money spent on 
art and media could be put to better use  

to help American people, or at the 
very least curtail reckless spending.  

They would rather see the private 
sector take care of that domain.

Is it really necessary for the 
government to subsidize sculptures?

That’s why Paul called it a waste when 
he learned the National Endowment for  

the Arts spent $365,000 on city park circus 
performances since 2018 — though it’s not a  

surprise since congress is full of 
clowns, and they love the circus.

It’s also why he included the 
Department of State paying the  

Royal Film Commission over $873,000 for 
movies and production training in Jordan…

And $123,000 on training Kyrgyzstani youths 
in content creation and related skills.

As if we didn’t have enough vapid influencers 
in America, now we’re trying to outsource them.

Then there’s the National Endowment 
for the Humanities spending over  

$388,000 on the “Magic in the United 
States” podcast. It capped out at 18  

episodes. Carry the one and add the 5, 
and that’s over $21,000 per episode. 

Hey National Endowment for the Humanities, 
I have a podcast that needs funding. 

And a top media expenditure was USAID spending 
$20 million on a new Sesame Street show in Iraq.

What does that look like? George 
W. Bush invading Oscar the Grouch’s  

garbage can claiming he’s hiding WMDs in there?

Let’s not forget the money spent on the 
Bearded Lady Cabaret and breakdancing.

Do you want to wind up with our own Raygun,  

America? Cause this sounds like 
how we wind up with our own Raygun.

On the flipside, is everything as 
wasteful as critics make it out to be?

Paul, who is no big fan of US aid to Ukraine, 
complains that up to $4.8 million will go to  

Ukraine’s public affairs influencer staff, with 
the current amount sitting at $3.1 million.

He characterizes this spending as just 
simply Instagram stories and TikTok dances.

But we live in an information warfare era.

And as we’ve seen with the rise of ISIS

 with the Ukraine war…

…the Hamas attack…

…China’s growing influence.

And even in the US presidential campaign

It’s clear: social media and influencers can  

be powerful tools for shaping the way people 
view reality and how we behave accordingly.

You’d think Paul would have learned that 
from his nephews Jake and Logan... I assume.

Rand Paul’s concerns about US government 
spending resonate with a lot of Americans.

People are tired of seeing 
taxpayer money being wasted  

or going to other people rather than themselves.

Those are legitimate concerns that should 
be addressed. But are there some things that  

Americans must spend money on, even if it’s 
hard to see how they directly help them? 

Like Cocaine Rats. Who knows, 
maybe their business ideas will  

be good enough to create high paying 
jobs for everyone. Emphasis on high.

What do you think? Let me 
know in the comments below. 

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Once again, I’m Chris Chappell. Thank 
you for watching America Uncovered.