Muppet Sex (Original)

There once was this grouch named Oscar,

who lived in a trash can,

He was broke,

He couldn't get more ass
than all the other muppets,

and the rest of the beasts,

until he spotted this
hottie on Sesame Street,

He said "I really like your swagger,

and I could carry on, but your smile

illuminates like a... Prairie dog,

I'm goin' Gonzo, so maybe we should talk

or like Fozzie Bear's jokes

we could Waka, Waka, Waka,

You should try it out girl,

maybe we're a match.

Like Pinnochio, there'll be no strong attached,

I wanna get to know you,

and girl if you're up to it,

I can be your Big Bird, and we can Snuffaluffagus,

I've got a pet worm,

and you can make him grow,

or I'll be Super Grover,

so I can save a hoe.

And she said "Hey, Oscar,

I don't mean to interrupt you,

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

Doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

And bump you.

Cuz muppets need love too.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

And bump you.

Cuz muppets need love too.

There once was a frog named Kermit,

who dated Miss Piggy,

and every other Wednesday night

they'd get bizzay,

More than we can put a handle on,

she was wildin' out like an Animal!

Then all of a sudden, Kermit stopped the lovin',

Piggy was concerned so she
decided to confront 'im,

I know you lost interest,
but we should really talk,

Cuz I'm "one horny muppet" Ha-ha-ha.

We've got that rainbow connection,

and honey if it suits ya,

maybe we could make some
muppet babies in the future.

But until that day,
my sex drive ain't dead."

So she HIYA! upside his head.

Now get in that bedroom,

and get butt naked.

I'm a little piggy and I bring home the bacon.

And put on that love song,

the one I like bump to,

Cuz just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

And bump you.

Cuz muppets need love too.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

And bump you.

Cuz muppets need love too.

There once was a muppet named Ernie,

and his roommate Bert.

Then one evening after work he said,

"I know we've been roommates for a few years,

sharing clothes and a bed,

and you never found it queer.

And I never told you that I'm a homosexual,

and I'mma switch it up like
Cookie Monter with some vegetables.

You may find it shocking,
and maybe you're stunned,

But you're like my Rubber Ducky,
cuz you're the one.

And you make bath time lots of fun.

And everytime I think of you

my heart grows all numb,

and I think I love ya Bert,

And I believe you're not gay,

but if you say you love me back

then it would surely turn today into

a "Sunny Day", you're keepin' the clouds away."

Whatta ya say?

And Bert turned to Ernie and said,

"Hey Ernie I won't front you,

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you."

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

And bump you.

Cuz muppets need love too.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

Just cuz I'm a muppet

doesn't mean that I won't hump you.

And bump you.

Cuz muppets need love too.

Elmo, Elmo tapped that ass laughing

Captioned by request