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There once was this grouch named Oscar,
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who lived in a trash can,
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He was broke,
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He couldn't get more ass
than all the other muppets,
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and the rest of the beasts,
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until he spotted this
hottie on Sesame Street,
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He said "I really like your swagger,
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and I could carry on, but your smile
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illuminates like a... Prairie dog,
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I'm goin' Gonzo, so maybe we should talk
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or like Fozzie Bear's jokes
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we could Waka, Waka, Waka,
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You should try it out girl,
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maybe we're a match.
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Like Pinnochio, there'll be no strong attached,
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I wanna get to know you,
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and girl if you're up to it,
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I can be your Big Bird, and we can Snuffaluffagus,
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I've got a pet worm,
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and you can make him grow,
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or I'll be Super Grover,
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so I can save a hoe.
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And she said "Hey, Oscar,
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I don't mean to interrupt you,
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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Doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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And bump you.
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Cuz muppets need love too.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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And bump you.
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Cuz muppets need love too.
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There once was a frog named Kermit,
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who dated Miss Piggy,
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and every other Wednesday night
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they'd get bizzay,
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More than we can put a handle on,
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she was wildin' out like an Animal!
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Then all of a sudden, Kermit stopped the lovin',
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Piggy was concerned so she
decided to confront 'im,
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I know you lost interest,
but we should really talk,
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Cuz I'm "one horny muppet" Ha-ha-ha.
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We've got that rainbow connection,
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and honey if it suits ya,
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maybe we could make some
muppet babies in the future.
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But until that day,
my sex drive ain't dead."
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So she HIYA! upside his head.
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Now get in that bedroom,
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and get butt naked.
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I'm a little piggy and I bring home the bacon.
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And put on that love song,
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the one I like bump to,
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Cuz just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
-
doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
-
Just cuz I'm a muppet
-
doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
-
And bump you.
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Cuz muppets need love too.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
-
doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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And bump you.
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Cuz muppets need love too.
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There once was a muppet named Ernie,
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and his roommate Bert.
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Then one evening after work he said,
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"I know we've been roommates for a few years,
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sharing clothes and a bed,
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and you never found it queer.
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And I never told you that I'm a homosexual,
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and I'mma switch it up like
Cookie Monter with some vegetables.
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You may find it shocking,
and maybe you're stunned,
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But you're like my Rubber Ducky,
cuz you're the one.
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And you make bath time lots of fun.
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And everytime I think of you
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my heart grows all numb,
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and I think I love ya Bert,
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And I believe you're not gay,
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but if you say you love me back
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then it would surely turn today into
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a "Sunny Day", you're keepin' the clouds away."
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Whatta ya say?
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And Bert turned to Ernie and said,
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"Hey Ernie I won't front you,
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you."
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
-
doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
-
doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
-
And bump you.
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Cuz muppets need love too.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
-
doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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Just cuz I'm a muppet
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doesn't mean that I won't hump you.
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And bump you.
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Cuz muppets need love too.
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Elmo, Elmo tapped that ass laughing
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Captioned by request