When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover
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0:18 - 0:20"Now my charms are all o'erthrown,
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0:20 - 0:23And what strength I have's mine own ... "
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0:24 - 0:27Prospero in Shakespeare's "Tempest."
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0:28 - 0:29"Pardon me, sir.
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0:29 - 0:32I did not do it on purpose."
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0:32 - 0:33Marie Antoinette.
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0:35 - 0:37"Everything is an illusion."
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0:37 - 0:38Mata Hari.
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0:40 - 0:43What do all these lines have in common?
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0:44 - 0:45You might think nothing.
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0:46 - 0:49But all these quotes,
all of these pearls - -
0:49 - 0:50they're last words.
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0:51 - 0:52The first,
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0:52 - 0:55being from the Shakespearean
character, Prospero, -
0:55 - 0:57as he says his farewell to the theater.
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0:57 - 0:59And at least now,
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1:00 - 1:04they're seen as a sort of farewell address
from Shakespeare himself. -
1:05 - 1:08The second, being from Marie Antoinette
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1:09 - 1:13as she stepped to the guillotine
and had a scuffle with her beheader. -
1:14 - 1:19And the last, being the grim perceptions
of Mata Hari before her execution. -
1:21 - 1:25Last words have an almost
magnetic pull on us. -
1:25 - 1:29We often see them
as the ultimate little bits of truth. -
1:29 - 1:31These one-liners that we,
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1:31 - 1:34who haven't yet
experienced dying or death, -
1:34 - 1:35can come to live by.
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1:36 - 1:37But why?
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1:37 - 1:42Why do we look for our advice,
our mantras, our game changers, -
1:43 - 1:47all wrapped up into these
supposedly universal one-liners. -
1:48 - 1:51Generalized catchphrases
just can't capture -
1:51 - 1:55what it means to live
a good and unique life. -
1:55 - 1:57And what I really wanted to find here,
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1:57 - 1:59in the end,
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1:59 - 2:02when I finally took this journey
that I want to share with you - -
2:02 - 2:04it's not an answer
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2:04 - 2:08because I don't think there is one way
to have a worthwhile life, -
2:08 - 2:10but many different pathways you can take.
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2:11 - 2:13So I went on looking for a method,
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2:13 - 2:17a method to solve this great conundrum
we call a happy life. -
2:18 - 2:21And that's the conversation
we're going to have here today. -
2:23 - 2:25The match really struck me last year
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2:25 - 2:27when my great-aunt
went into a nursing home. -
2:28 - 2:29She's 63 years old,
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2:29 - 2:32and she's been a quadriplegic
since her early 20's -
2:32 - 2:35when she injured her spinal cord
in a motorcycle accident. -
2:37 - 2:39Watching her become
more dependent on others, -
2:40 - 2:41especially my mom,
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2:42 - 2:44after living independently for many years,
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2:44 - 2:48I had the chance to see loneliness
for the first time. -
2:49 - 2:52Truly, it's one of the most
terrifying things out there. -
2:54 - 2:58You see, nursing home residents
are far too easy to forget. -
2:59 - 3:03Most live isolated in their rooms
with little social interaction, -
3:03 - 3:07save a few check-ins from nurse's aides
and the occasional family visitor. -
3:08 - 3:10And because many
have physical disabilities -
3:10 - 3:12that make valuable
communication difficult, -
3:13 - 3:15it's often lost altogether.
-
3:16 - 3:19When we think about our role in the world
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3:20 - 3:25and the larger impact that our generation
may have on a positive future, -
3:25 - 3:28talk often gets to blaming the past.
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3:29 - 3:32But, in a holier-than-thou mindset,
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3:32 - 3:33we lose sight
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3:33 - 3:36of the valuable relationships
we could form with our elders -
3:36 - 3:40to bridge the past,
the present, and the future. -
3:41 - 3:45Failures and victories alike
are opportunities for growth. -
3:46 - 3:49And we shouldn't have
to reinvent the wheel to move forward. -
3:51 - 3:52I searched for a few conversations
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3:52 - 3:55to start our journey
at my great-aunt's nursing home. -
3:56 - 4:00The residents shared their lives,
their thoughts, and their regrets with me. -
4:01 - 4:05The common thread through all
these stories was hope. -
4:06 - 4:10Every resident had something
that made their face light up. -
4:11 - 4:13And that passion,
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4:13 - 4:15that positive motivation,
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4:15 - 4:18that has the power to change the world.
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4:19 - 4:22Now I'm going to invite
a few classmates up here -
4:22 - 4:23to tell these stories.
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4:24 - 4:28Even though they are deeply personal
to the people who shared them, -
4:28 - 4:32now all these experiences are ours
to pass on and grow from. -
4:33 - 4:37Resident 1: a 99 year old
World War II Veteran. -
4:42 - 4:45Student speaker 1: "I was in the navy
three-and-a-half years. -
4:45 - 4:48I was very good.
I was in the Atlantic Ocean. -
4:49 - 4:51You know the Normandy Invasion?
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4:51 - 4:52First wharf.
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4:52 - 4:56On my ship, 318 people with the officers.
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4:57 - 5:00I'm the only one alive - 317 are gone.
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5:01 - 5:03I'm number 318.
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5:03 - 5:05All my shipmates are gone.
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5:05 - 5:07The first invasion in Normandy.
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5:07 - 5:09Eisenhower was my general.
I did pretty good. -
5:10 - 5:13I'm lucky to be alive.
I lost a lot of friends. -
5:14 - 5:17When we had the Normandy invasion,
the Germans were waiting for us. -
5:17 - 5:21We had our boys there too.
We did pretty good. -
5:22 - 5:23I'm lucky to be alive.
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5:24 - 5:25My second daughter -
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5:25 - 5:27I was in the navy -
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5:27 - 5:29first time I seen her, she ran in my arms.
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5:30 - 5:32She was 18 months. She ran in my arms.
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5:33 - 5:36'Daddy, Daddy!' Her name is Patty -
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5:37 - 5:38Patricia.
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5:38 - 5:41When I went in the navy,
my wife was two months pregnant, -
5:42 - 5:44and I was overseas 18 months.
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5:45 - 5:47When I came home, that's it.
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5:47 - 5:50She ran in my arms. That was good."
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5:54 - 5:57Grace Ann Limoncelli:
Resident 2: a hopeful creator. -
6:01 - 6:03Student speaker 2: "I'm glad to be alive.
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6:03 - 6:07Seeing people that's worse than I am,
I tell you, it's the hope to do better. -
6:08 - 6:10I wanted to create my life again
'cause I was living alone -
6:10 - 6:14and I wanted to get an apartment
and live alone again, but I didn't. -
6:14 - 6:16This isn't a bad place to be.
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6:17 - 6:20Without God, or the institution,
I'd probably be dead. -
6:21 - 6:24I thank God for this type of institution
that gives me a chance to live. -
6:24 - 6:27With a chance to do my family,
career all over again, -
6:27 - 6:29I just would live and be happy.
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6:30 - 6:31I want to be creative again.
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6:32 - 6:35I'm an engineer by trade,
an operating engineer." -
6:39 - 6:42GAL: Resident 3: my great-aunt.
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6:45 - 6:49Student speaker 3: "After I had
my accident, life moved very quickly. -
6:49 - 6:52You always were told
to adjust to this type of life. -
6:52 - 6:55That things were not going to be accepted,
but that you had to adjust. -
6:56 - 6:58And many people became very bitter,
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6:58 - 7:00very angry about what
had happened to them. -
7:01 - 7:04And I was just too busy,
and there was just never time -
7:04 - 7:06to stop and think
about really what had happened. -
7:06 - 7:10And so, I think what I would tell someone
would be to just keep moving forward. -
7:10 - 7:14There's some benefit to looking back
and remembering good memories, -
7:14 - 7:16and that takes a long time
for you to accomplish -
7:16 - 7:17because you feel both sad,
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7:17 - 7:19but you feel that they
were happy memories. -
7:20 - 7:22So you just take on this new chapter,
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7:22 - 7:25and you deal with it as,
hopefully, the best you can. -
7:25 - 7:27You continue either
on the road you were going on, -
7:27 - 7:30or you select another course
of action for your life, -
7:30 - 7:31and you choose that road.
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7:32 - 7:34But it's important
to continue to function, -
7:34 - 7:38to be a part of society,
to socialize, to meet people. -
7:38 - 7:42There's a whole life ahead of you
if you're injured when you're young. -
7:42 - 7:43I think you have to make sure
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7:43 - 7:46that you find something in life
to grab on to and to make you happy." -
7:52 - 7:57GAL: The ancient Greeks had this kind
of mystical reverence for oracles, -
7:57 - 8:01individuals who brought forward
the prophecies of the gods. -
8:02 - 8:04Oracles bore the responsibility
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8:04 - 8:08of speaking up for those
who couldn't speak up for themselves. -
8:08 - 8:10And for the most part,
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8:10 - 8:13communities listened,
responded, and took action -
8:13 - 8:15because of this valuable advice.
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8:16 - 8:18I don't think oracles are gone.
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8:19 - 8:24Prophets speak up every day
because no voice should be silenced. -
8:25 - 8:29No experience has the right
to dominate over another. -
8:30 - 8:35When we let our grandparents,
our neighbors, even complete strangers -
8:35 - 8:38who live in nursing homes be silenced,
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8:39 - 8:42we lose the opportunity to learn and grow.
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8:43 - 8:47Experiences may feel
like this deeply private adventure, -
8:47 - 8:49but those lessons we learn?
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8:49 - 8:51They're for everyone.
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8:52 - 8:54When we share and listen openly,
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8:54 - 8:56that's when we truly have the power
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8:56 - 9:00to stop making old mistakes
and start building a future -
9:00 - 9:03worth taking pride in, worth living in,
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9:03 - 9:06and worth growing old in, eventually.
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9:08 - 9:10Now is just the start,
-
9:10 - 9:12and since every story
has its "once upon a time," -
9:13 - 9:15I thought I'd share mine with you.
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9:15 - 9:17It began with an end.
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9:18 - 9:19Some of the last thoughts
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9:19 - 9:23of the incredible neurologist
and storyteller, Oliver Sacks. -
9:24 - 9:26He has been my muse -
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9:26 - 9:28my dearest wish for you is to find yours.
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9:32 - 9:35"And now, weak, short of breath,
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9:36 - 9:39my once-firm muscles
melted away by cancer, -
9:40 - 9:42I find my thoughts, increasingly,
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9:42 - 9:46not on the supernatural or the spiritual,
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9:46 - 9:50but on what is meant by living
a good and worthwhile life - -
9:50 - 9:53achieving a sense of peace within oneself.
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9:54 - 9:57I find my thoughts
drifting to the Sabbath, -
9:57 - 9:59the day of rest,
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9:59 - 10:01the seventh day of the week,
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10:01 - 10:04and perhaps the seventh day
of one's life as well, -
10:05 - 10:08when one can feel that one's work is done,
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10:09 - 10:13and one may, in good conscience, rest"
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10:13 - 10:15Thank you.
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10:15 - 10:17(Applause)
- Title:
- When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover
- Description:
-
When we're thinking about the future, maybe the first course of action is to ask the past. Grace Ann Limoncelli about how important connection is to our friends and relatives in nursing homes, as well as the ways we can act together to build a more empathetic world.
Grace Ann Limoncelli is a junior at Phillips Academy in Andover, MA.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx
- Video Language:
- English
- Team:
closed TED
- Project:
- TEDxTalks
- Duration:
- 10:23
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David DeRuwe approved English subtitles for When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover | |
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David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover | |
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David DeRuwe accepted English subtitles for When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover | |
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David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover | |
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David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover | |
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David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover | |
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David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover | |
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David DeRuwe edited English subtitles for When the silent speak up | Grace Ann Limoncelli | TEDxPhillipsAcademyAndover |