Gender capitalism | Rain Dove | TEDxAUEB

The effect of social pressure and stereotypes about sex/gender is massive, as there is an urge to a certain direction based only on the sex we were born with. Gender capitalism is the recognition of society’s perception of gender and being able to use that perception in the most advantageous way. It does not mean that people cannot identify with their own gender, it just means they do not recognize the stereotypes society places on that gender. Overall, it means people must exceed the limits of social norms and become advocates for each other.

Rain Dove is the androgynous/agender model who has been in many magazines like W, Vogue, Elle, Marie Claire, Cosmo, Harper, Bazaar, etc. She has created several viral campaigns including a lingerie shoot challenging Victoria Secrets’ beauty standards which reached over 35 countries. She is also known for her humanitarian action. Her recent video combatting HB2 has garnered millions of views and has discovered a previously unexposed
illegality to the bill. She also speaks about homelessness and hunger both of which she has experienced herself. Prior to her fashion career, she was a wilderness firefighter and also obtained a BA in Genetic Engineering from UC Berkeley.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

Wow!

How's it going?

Well, obviously, my name is Rain Dove.

I'm a model, activist,
actor and gender capitalist.

And I am nervous as heck.

But I'm here for a reason, so -

(Applause)

(Laughter)

Now, if there are any journalists
in the audience,

and you're wondering, "Oh shit,
what pronoun do I use for this person?"

A pronoun is just a sound,

and all I'm listening for in that sound
is positivity, so be creative.

You can even call me "it" if you want to.

Now, I'm just going to get
little more comfortable

and make you guys little bit
more comfortable.

Take off some things.

I feel like according
to my birth certificate,

this is what I should
be wearing, technically.

Let's just get this down here.
Oh yeah, that's so nice.

Little red dress.

And a clicker, that's nice.

Better.

So.

Cat-a-bra, you have to go with that.

This was the freest point in my life.

(Laughter)

See that little face, kind of like -

I had no expectations,
I was just a lonely sperm

travelling with about
250 million other sperm.

Things were pretty great back then.

No one told me what to wear
or how to be or how to dress.

And I started out life a winner.

I mean, I beat 250 million other sperm
to get to this egg.

It's a race that's bigger

than 4.9 thousand times
the size of the New York City Marathon.

So, yeah, I pretty much shot out the gate

and just, you know,
do what I've got to do,

and that was awesome.

See, I was doing just fine,
until I popped out of the vagina,

and then the doctors
uttered three simple words

that would shackle me
into my first social prison.

"It's a girl!"

Ugh.

(Laughter)

The minute they said those words,
I was no longer simply me.

I suddenly became "she."

And at that point,

I also became measured against
everything a "she" was supposed to be.

How I dress, talk, act, love,
my level of attractiveness -

I know, guys, calm yourselves -

even how I gained respect or trust.

The paths to obtain my wildest dreams
were suddenly divided in half

and filled with pot holes
of societal pressures

that urged me to go
in a certain direction.

All because of what was right
for my genitals.

Now, here's the thing.
As a "she," here's how I measured up.

It wasn't pretty.

I found out I was actually
pretty low on the totem pole.

There's me, so soft, so sweet.
That's my mother, big shout out to mom:

Hi mom!

Thank you!

(Applause)

I know, she's a good-looking woman.

See, the thing is

I looked around on television,
on billboards and in magazines,

and I just didn't see
the "she" that was me.

I didn't see any girl that looked like me.

I'm going to quote a lot of times
when I say girl or guy,

that's for a different TED talk,

but I'm not really
into those kinds of labels.

See, I was tall and I was muscular.
I grew up on a farm.

Check out that swimsuit bottom. Awesome.

Oh man, yeah, sports.
Definitely pretty awesome at that.

Fashion sense on point.

And I had a lot of weird haircuts.

In fact, I actually, aesthetically,
looked a lot more like my first boyfriend

in high school.

(Laughter)

See that right there, the resemblance.

Sometimes I wonder if I dated them
just for pure narcissism, you know.

I mean, look at that just one more time.
Look at that, oh yeah.

We're going to leave that creepy face
up there for one second.

And because of these things,

I grew up thinking,
"I guess I'm an ugly girl."

Maybe I wasn't meant to be
the housewife material,

and maybe I wasn't meant to be eye candy.

I figured out that maybe,
the "she" that I was supposed to be

was the girl who survives the apocalypse
and goes out on the escapade

with her motorcycle and her shotgun
and her German Shepherd.

That was my place in life.
I was going to be like Resident Evil.

You know, that was me.

Yeah, you know, I'm not a housewife,

I'm just going to shoot some zombies;
that's my destiny right there.

Now, be real with me, okay?

And some of you guys might be
like crazy miracle workers here,

but raise your hand if you chose
the body that you were born in.

I'm not talking trans,

and I'm not talking about plastic surgery
or anything weird like that.

I just literally mean,
Before you popped out of that vagina,

did you choose the body
that you came out in?

No.

We didn't choose this.

It's not my fault
that I was born into this vessel,

and it's not your fault
that you are born into this vessel.

So, why is society punishing me?
Why are they punishing you?

Why are they getting in your way
because of it if it's not your fault?

Why are they limiting you?

Now fast forward.

When I was nineteen,
I became a wilderness firefighter.

And this was part
of my attractive crew right here.

Check it out.

I know a lot of you might think that's me
right there with the chain saw,

looking kind of douchey doing this.

No, that's not me.
I wish I could be that miracle worker.

See, I walked into a room
of predominately men, these men, okay?

And the first thing they did
was call me "he."

My whole life I thought
I was an ugly girl.

I'd never been mistaken as a "he" before.

I would have corrected them,

but then I saw the way they were talking
about the women in the room,

and they were measuring their usefulness
based on how attractive they were.

And I realized I had a choice.

Be the ugly girl or be a dude.

So I decided to be a dude.

And I was going to tell them
the truth later -

you know, work really hard and then be
like, surprise, ha-ha, put shoulder punch.

But then, later turned into 11 months.

So a little bit of time passed
before that situation happened.

Right there.

(Laughter)

And one time
in the middle of firefighting,

I was actually celebrating
with all the men - no women allowed -

and we were around the fire,

and somebody said something
that I would consider to be

the most manly thing
that's ever been said.

We are all drinking whiskey,
kind of illegally,

and hanging out around the fire.

And one guy says, "If I die,
I need you to promise me

that you are going to go back to the place
that you last saw me

and scoop up some of my ashes
and send that home to my mother."

I was like, "Shit got serious, man."

We were just sitting there,
I felt like a chest hair pop out.

And then everybody took a swig of whiskey.

And then they all did something
I did not expect.

They stood up,

walked to the edge of the sandstone cliff
in the middle of the dessert,

and they all started to pee,
off the cliff, together, in solidarity.

I've never peed in front of
these guys before, ever.

I think they probably thought
I had to poop a lot

because I just always went into a place
where I can hide or squat.

So, suddenly I found myself
shoulder to shoulder with these guys,

kind of like, "Okay,
I guess I got to do this."

And I took two hands,
and I'm kind of like, funneling it out,

trying to get it out away from me,
and it got all over me.

And I gained me the nickname Hobo,

which in America means homeless person,

because I smelled like urine for a week.

Later on, when they found out
that I was a woman,

they said, "That's impossible."

And the medic was like "Why?"

And they were like,"Well, we saw his dick;
he had to hold it with two hands."

(Laughter)

And my response today is that
a dick doesn't make a man a man.

Especially [inaudible].

(Laughter)

At first, I actually thought that being
perceived as a guy was pretty great.

I was like, "I got a golden ticket!"

I found that, maybe,
it was like a superpower.

You know, like, the ability to be
a young white man in America.

Or just a pretty damn
awesome power for most things.

But then, over those 11 months,

while I certainly did experience
an improved quality of life,

I also began to experience disadvantages
that I'd never experienced as a woman.

And that a lot guys don't really
feel like they can talk about.

For starters, I wasn't allowed to express
unapologetic sadness or fear.

I couldn't express
these things, and if I did,

I'd better be able to just suck it up
and show that I'm able to resolve.

So if I cry, I have to be like,
"But don't worry about me, bro."

You know, shoulder punch.

I couldn't argue full force
with another female firefighter.

So if a female firefighter and I
were having a conflict,

she could yell at me.

She could even slap me across the face.

And she would be applauded

for standing up to herself
against a tall white guy.

But if I would have slapped her
across the face, being perceived as male,

I would probably go to jail.

And then my life would be ruined.

Now, by the way, nobody should ever
slap anyone across the face - like ever.

You know, don't do it,
I'm not promoting violence here.

But if you have to,
like in defense, you know.

Anyway, and lastly, I realized -

and there were a lot of things,
but these were the top 3 -

I realized that, man,
I didn't get any freebies! Okay?

As a woman, you know,
free drinks, free entry into places.

Sometimes you can have
like these meltdowns

and people like, "It's okay," you know?

No freebies as a dude. None.

I was expected to be able
to pay my way into everything,

and not just pay my way
into everything

but also have money in the chamber
to cover someone else.

I had to have the ability to pull
someone else's weight, just in case.

So what I'm saying is

some of you may have it
a lot easier because of your male status,

but I'm telling you,
you don't have it easy either.

And a lot of people don't talk about that.

So what does this mean?

It basically means no matter
how we express ourselves in gender or sex,

man, society's going to screw us over.

We are screwed! It's not fair.

My golden ticket turned out to be

just another flawed form of life
that I could live.

So I decided to say fuck it.
Fuck it, I'll be both. I'll be all.

I'll be whatever I have to be
to get the most out of my life.

Because I don't have time
to be disadvantaged.

I don't have time to stand in a line
and be polite and say,

"Oh sorry, I'm a girl. I can't do that."

Or like, "Oh lady, it's okay.
You're fine. Go ahead of me."

I don't have time for that shit.

I've got important things
to do on this planet, okay?

And now, I make a living
off from that mentality.

What I did was first I studied
the common factors

society affiliates with
different genders and sexes.

And I began to emulate those qualities
in various situations

to get the most out of them.

So when I was in a situation that was
more advantageous to be seen as female,

I would arch my back,
soften my gestures and raise my voice.

"Hi, how's it going. Nice to see you."

When I was in a situation that was seen
as more beneficial to be male,

I brought my shoulders forward,
I made a lot of eye contact,

I made sure that everything
I said was intentional,

I lowered my voice.

Put out my dick sometimes -
just kidding, I don't do that.

Sometimes you have to, I mean,
you know, around situations.

And suddenly, when
I started doing this every day,

my life exploded in a huge way.

And after I accidentally
became a fashion model

- separate TED Talk - and actor,

I found myself being able
to portray all sexes and genders,

making twice the amount of money
I would have as an ugly girl

and twice the amount of money
I would have as a decent looking guy.

I'm not meaning to brag, but you know,
look at this face, I mean, right? Okay.

So now, when you google my name,
you are going to see pictures like this.

You're going to see some photos like this.
Check that out. That's nice.

No real alcohol in that, though.

This one, that's the Brooklyn bridge.

This one right here, nice little lingerie.

This one's nice, makeup campaign;
that's my first Vogue Italia shot.

Oh, and sometimes this. Google images
and I, we're having a problem.

Because this thing,
when you type in Rain Dove,

sometimes it's at the top
of the image thing.

I don't know how many people
are looking up this pigeon,

but it is very fucking famous,
that is so annoying.

(Laughter) (Applause)

Now, after a period of time
in the industry,

I decided to coin this term.

I mean, this way of life.

And I called it gender capitalism.

Now, gender capitalism is when you
recognize society's perception of gender

and make use of it
in the most advantageous ways.

You capitalize on it.

For me, that literally means
presenting myself

as what society deems to be male
or female in a given situation

to get the most out of it.

I don't have time to fuck around.

It's your fault if you think
I'm something else.

Now, I'm going to give you
an example of how I would use,

personally, with my superpower,
gender capitalism.

Titanic.

Long sad movie.
But walk with me here, okay?

If I had gone onto the Titanic
during this time period,

I'd have gotten a job
as a male deckhand.

Making sure my clothes are nice and baggy.

Make eye contact, lower that voice,
bring those shoulders forward.

I'd have gotten paid three times more

than the highest paid female
working position on that ship.

However, the minute that ship was sinking,
and they said women and children first,

I'm like, off, I'm onto the boat,
I am out of there.

Because at that point,
dudes have to stay behind and die.

I'm not going to do that.
Are you kidding me?

I didn't make all this money as a deckhand
to have to put up with that shit.

And that is gender capitalism.

I don't feel bad about it.

Some people would be like, "Hey,

you are kind of supporting
these gender stereotypes

and supporting the oppression."

But that's the complete opposite.

I fight stereotypes and oppression
every day just by living unapologetically

and letting other people around me
live unapologetically.

I ask the question,

"When did we take science
and turn it into shackles?"

When?

When was this such a big factor,
this whole situation here?

When did social opinion become fact
that we have to live by?

When did it become so dire to conform
to a homogeneous binary standard?

At one point, you know, it's true.

The human race, I mean,
we needed to survive.

We needed to identify
each other on genitalia

because we literally, pun intended,
needed to know who we are fucking with.

Because humans only lived
for 20-30 years at one point.

We had a hard time,
we had to get society going.

We had to build up the population.

That was something we designed,

so that we could have
a more efficient population.

But the human race has enough people now.
The population is high enough.

And in fact, we have dominated
the planet to such a point

that we are choking it with our needs.

This social design that was once
constructed for efficiency

has now not only become inefficient,

but it's become detrimental
to our well-being

and ability to further our species.

We don't need to grow
our population anymore, okay?

We need to feed the population we have.
We need to water the population we have.

We need to shelter the population we have.

So we need to redesign society
to maximize our potential to do that,

which means getting out of the
intellectual way of every single human

so we can be the best we can
to solve these problems.

It is that simple.

So what does it mean for you?

Question on my talk - there's a little
talking point right there.

Just taking a pivot.

Well, not everybody here
would deem themselves androgynous.

I just want to say
every human is androgynous.

Androgyny is not the opinion of yourself,
it's the other people's opinion of you.

And everyone here is androgynous.
You should be ambiguous.

However, right now,
the way the society stands,

a lot of you probably can't be able
to seamlessly walk through

and pass as male or female
on a straight hard line.

But being a gender capitalist
doesn't mean that you have to do that

and also that you have to not identify
with your own gender.

You don't have to be "I am now an it."

You can still say you are a she.
You can say you are whatever you want.

You can identify with whatever elements
of you that you want to.

It's just that you recognize
how society sees gender,

and you capitalize off from it.

There are only two rules to do this;
it is very a simple thing.

Rule number one.

Just going to put that there.

Eliminate the limits.

Stop telling yourself you can't do
something because of who or what you are.

And stop getting in other people's way
of exceeding what society tells they are.

Going to put that up there as a plug.

(Laughter)

Look, we were taught at birth
to undercut ourselves, okay?

We are taught not to think selfishly.

I know that a lot of us don't feel
comfortable about bragging about ourselves

or doing things to show off
how awesome we are, right?

You are not allowed to be like,
"I'm awesome,"

because some other person's going
to be like "Douchebag," you know.

But the most selfless thing
you can do is be a gender capitalist.

Because when other people get in your way,
they're not getting just in your way,

they're getting in the way of all
the good you have to offer them.

So they're getting in their own way.

And when you get in the way
of other people,

you are getting in the way of all the good
those people can offer you.

You are getting in your own way.

So, rule number one:
Get the fuck out of your way.

Get out the way! It's very simple!

It's very, very simple.

Rule number two: If you
see something, say something.

Now, this slogan is very popular around
the world and used for a lot of things.

But it's popular for a reason.

And it's simple as it sounds.

We need to be advocates for each other.

For our co-workers, for our family,
for the person that we are dating.

Hold them to equal standards,
no matter what sex or gender they are.

Okay? Even for strangers.

Because those people
might save your life one day.

Those people might hire you one day.

Those people might make the bread
that you eat in the morning.

You don't know.
You have to lift them up.

And you have to speak up for them.

It's that simple. Two rules.

You do this, and you're going
to stop missing out

on a whole happier life
that you're missing.

It's not fair. Your life;
you've been cheated!

You lost a whole half of potential,
a whole half of comradery,

a whole half of you,

and you had to fight damn hard
to get to where you are right now.

And it should't be that hard.

But you have to navigate through all these
social pressures, and it's not fair.

So to bring it back to the beginning.

Let's imagine a new world.

A world where when you are born,

they are not like
"It's a girl" or "It's a boy."

They say, "It's a 'you.'"

And you are taught about yourself
in a scientific way, not a social way.

Instead of saying,

"You're more likely to act like this
because you're a male or female,"

people will say to you,

"OK, you have these hormonal levels,
you have these chemicals in your body,

you have these chromosomal elements,

and you have these
different physiological attributes.

You may be likely to experience life
in this particular way.

But it's up to you."

If you are taught about how
your body works, as a unique machine,

things would be different.

If you learned about you,
you wouldn't feel like an angry girl

because you are not
like all the other girls,

or a weak guy because you are
comparing yourself to all the guys.

You'll compare yourself only to you.

We are not meant to be compared
to anyone else, okay?

We are not meant
to look like anyone else.

Look in the audience:
everyone is so different.

We don't look like ants.

We don't look like grains
of sand on the beach.

And even those things are different
when looked at underneath a microscope.

You are not this vessel.

Any person at any time,

you can lose any of your senses:
sight, smell, sound, taste, touch.

You could lose any body part.
You could lose your dick, okay?

You could lose your tits,
you could lose anything.

All of the sexual organs,
internal and external.

And when that happens, if that happens,
heaven forbid that happens,

you still are you, there's this thing
that goes beyond the body, and that's you.

That's the thing that's meant
to be compared to each other.

Us. Not this.

So. It's that simple. We are not this.

So get the fuck out of your way,

and stop letting opinions get in the way
of the fact that this is your life,

and you should be doing everything
you can to be the best that you can be.

Thank you.

(Applause)