Pliny Explains it All: The Historia Naturalis Abridged (Books I-II) -- Sam O'Nella
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Not Synced(whimsical orchestral music)
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Not SyncedHey persons of age.
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Not SyncedSo, long before the era of the wiki,
-
Not Syncedthere used to be these
things called encyclopedias, -
Not Syncedwhere for a small fee
of thousands of dollars, -
Not Syncedthey would mail you a tiny fraction
-
Not Syncedof the knowledge that we
have access to today. -
Not SyncedAnd you could put it on a shelf.
-
Not SyncedAnd it would sit there and
make you look "learned." -
Not SyncedBut while not reading
an encyclopedia is easy, -
Not Syncednot creating one is much easier.
-
Not SyncedAnd yet we do it.
-
Not SyncedEncyclopedia Britannica is
still in circulation today, -
Not Syncedand it's maintained by around
a hundred full-time editors -
Not Syncedand more than four
thousand contributors. -
Not SyncedSo whose idea was this?
-
Not SyncedWho was the first person
to sit down and say, -
Not Synced"Hm, today I feel like writing down
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Not SyncedEVERYTHING."
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Not SyncedTo answer that, we must look nearly
two thousand years in the past -
Not Syncedto the mid 70s AD.
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Not SyncedPliny the Elder.
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Not SyncedAuthor.
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Not SyncedPhilosopher.
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Not SyncedVeteran.
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Not SyncedImperial administrator.
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Not SyncedAnd one curious buckaroo.
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Not SyncedEarly in his life, Pliny's father took
him to Rome to study law. -
Not SyncedThen as a young adult, he spent
several years as a junior officer -
Not Syncedin the Roman military.
-
Not SyncedHis interest in literature made
him a few high-ranking friends there, -
Not Syncedand when he came home,
he took to writing. -
Not SyncedUnfortunately, a certain apocryphal
fiddler was in charge at the time -
Not Syncedand wasn't exactly kind to intellectuals.
-
Not SyncedSo Pliny kept it on the DL,
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Not Syncedmostly writing about things
like grammar and rhetoric, -
Not Syncedwhich at the time, few people
found worth freaking out over. -
Not SyncedFortunately, in June of 68,
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Not SyncedNero finally took a
hint and killed himself, -
Not Syncedand following the chaos of the
Year of the Four Emperors, -
Not Syncedone Vespasian came out on top.
-
Not SyncedVespasian was a general
and a friend of Pliny's, -
Not Syncedso when he became emperor
he promoted Pliny to "Procurator," -
Not Syncedwhich was like the governor of a province.
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Not SyncedSuddenly, with this guy on the throne
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Not Syncedand a cushy job to pay the bills,
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Not SyncedPliny found himself in a position to
make complete use of his own potential. -
Not SyncedBy day he continued
his administrative duties, -
Not Syncedbut during nights, he wrote.
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Not SyncedAnd over the course of a few years,
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Not Syncedwith nothing but his own wits
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Not Syncedand whatever authors he
could get his hands on, -
Not SyncedHe created a work known as the
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Not Synced"Historia Naturalis."
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Not SyncedThis consisted of thirty-seven books,
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Not Syncedeach broken up into
many dozens of chapters -
Not Syncedcovering just about every topic there is.
-
Not SyncedWhile it wasn't quite an
encyclopedia in the modern sense, -
Not Syncedit's still the earliest surviving attempt
-
Not Syncedand an all-encompassing scholarly work,
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Not Syncedand it is a TRIP.
-
Not SyncedI've been reading it.
-
Not SyncedIt is fascinating.
-
Not SyncedNot only as a reflection of what people
did and did not know in the Roman Empire, -
Not Syncedbut also as a reflection of Pliny himself,
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Not Syncedwho is a character,
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Not Syncedand who made zero attempt to hide it.
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Not SyncedSo today, I come to you with
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Not SyncedA Brief Summary of the First Part of a
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Not SyncedBrief Summary of ALL HUMAN KNOWLEDGE
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Not SyncedAccording to One Dude
-
Not Syncedcirca 77 AD.
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Not SyncedNow, the original thing makes
for a fairly long read. -
Not SyncedEven removing most of the
more uninteresting details -
Not SyncedI've only managed to fit the first
two books into today's video. -
Not SyncedAs for the other thirty-five,
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Not Syncedehhh...uhhhh...
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Not SyncedWe'll see.
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Not SyncedI'm gonna let Pliny do
the narration himself, -
Not Syncedusing my voice.
-
Not SyncedHe gets a lot of
things shockingly right -
Not Syncedand a lot shockingly wrong.
-
Not SyncedRather than constantly
chiming in with fact checks, -
Not SyncedI'm just gonna throw chess.com
analysis icons in the corner -
Not Syncedfor every claim he makes.
-
Not SyncedI'll also provide relevant snippets of
the actual text I'm paraphrasing, -
Not Syncedjust for reference.
-
Not SyncedIf you're one of the people
that likes to pause the video -
Not Syncedjust to see the funny ha-ha's
I snuck into the freeze frame, -
Not Syncedrest assured, there will be none today.
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Not SyncedYou can just let it play.
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Not SyncedOne last warning,
-
Not Syncedwhile there is a loose
overall structure to this thing, -
Not Syncedit also seems like Pliny just kinda wrote
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Not Syncedwhatever was in his
head for a given chapter. -
Not SyncedHe has a habit of jumping back and forth
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Not Syncedbetween completely disparate topics
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Not Syncedand going on weird
personal tangents in between. -
Not SyncedI am presenting this thing in
the exact order it's written, -
Not Syncedso if it at any point seems
utterly scatterbrained, -
Not Syncedit's his fault. Not mine.
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Not SyncedAnyway, take it away.
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Not Synced(dramatic music with choir)
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Not Synced(music stops)
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Not SyncedYo.
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Not Synced(dramatic music with
choir starts up again) -
Not Synced(music stops)
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Not Synced(drinks water)
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Not SyncedRight, let me get right ahead of things.
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Not SyncedThese books are strictly about this world
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Not Syncedand the things we can see around it.
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Not SyncedIf you're one of those mad men
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Not Syncedwho think there are other
worlds beyond this one, -
Not Syncedgive it a rest, alright?
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Not SyncedThat's PSYCHOTIC.
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Not SyncedYou can't know these things
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Not Syncedand you can't grasp infinity.
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Not SyncedStop trying, you'll hurt yourself.
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Not SyncedSo the heavens are a perfect sphere
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Not Syncedand they spin around us perfectly.
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Not SyncedIt takes twenty-four hours
for them to do one spin, -
Not Syncedwhich is actually really fast
because the universe is HUGE. -
Not SyncedIn fact, massive objects all
whooshing around us this fast -
Not Syncedshould be incredibly loud at all times.
-
Not SyncedWhy isn't this the case?
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Not Synced(mumbles) I don't know.
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Not SyncedThe whole shebang is
composed of four elements, right, -
Not Syncedwhich sort themselves by weight.
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Not SyncedEarth is heaviest, so it falls
to the middle of everything -
Not Syncedinto a sphere,
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Not Syncedand it stays still.
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Not SyncedIt's the only still thing.
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Not SyncedOn top of that is water,
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Not Syncedthen air,
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Not Syncedand fire's the lighest,
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Not Syncedwhich is why the Sun
and stars are made of it. -
Not SyncedThe Sun
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Not Syncedkicks ass.
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Not SyncedEasily the best of the
seven things up there. -
Not SyncedBasically a god.
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Not SyncedNot literally.
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Not SyncedUh, don't try to answer questions
about God's nature, by the way, -
Not Syncedyou'll just confuse yourself.
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Not SyncedThere is AT MOST one god
and he's everything, -
Not Syncedand he doesn't do weird human shit
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Not Syncedlike getting jealous or
banging other gods. -
Not SyncedI swear, people just make up new gods
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Not Syncedevery time they want something specific.
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Not SyncedLet me tell ya,
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Not Syncedthere was a temple on Palatine Hill
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Not Synceddedicated, through my
tax dollars by the way, -
Not Syncedto "Fever."
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Not SyncedLike, the illness.
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Not SyncedYou understand that's batshit, right?
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Not SyncedThings like that are why
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Not Syncedwe've got more gods
than people at this point. -
Not SyncedFolks in other countries worship
animals and obscene things -
Not Syncedlike "stinking meats."
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Not SyncedThere are gods of theft and other crimes,
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Not Syncedit's all folly.
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Not SyncedYou wanna be godly?
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Not SyncedJust help others.
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Not SyncedThat's the way of the old Roman nobles.
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Not SyncedAnd that's the way of
the noblest noble of all, -
Not SyncedEmperor Vespasian Augustus,
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Not Syncedwho may or may not be my best buddy.
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Not SyncedBut anyway, if there is a god,
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Not Syncedhe doesn't care about what you do.
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Not SyncedPeople put crazy
emphasis on their religion, -
Not Syncedavoiding foods,
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Not Syncedworrying themselves sick about
all kinds of sacred rules. -
Not SyncedLook, I hang around the capital.
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Not SyncedThere's a lot of rat bastards in politics.
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Not SyncedReal scumbags.
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Not SyncedAnd they are THUH-RIVING.
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Not SyncedYou don't need to torture yourself.
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Not SyncedHave a bacon. Nobody gives a shit.
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Not SyncedBack to the stars, which, by the way,
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Not Syncedalso don't give a shit
about you specifically. -
Not SyncedFor big history-changing
stuff, yeah, they'll act up, -
Not Syncedbut you, reader, do not need to worry.
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Not SyncedAnyway, most of them are fixed
in a sphere really high up there, -
Not Syncedwe'll call this the heavens.
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Not SyncedBetween the heavens and the earth,
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Not Syncedthere are seven other
bodies to talk about. -
Not SyncedHighest up there we got Saturn,
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Not Syncedthen there's Jupiter,
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Not SyncedMars,
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Not SyncedThe Sun,
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Not SyncedVenus,
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Not SyncedMercury,
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Not SyncedMoon.
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Not SyncedThe heavens spin to the right,
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Not Syncedall these guys spin to the left.
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Not SyncedSaturn is cold, Mars is hot, but Jupiter?
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Not SyncedJupiter's just right.
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Not SyncedThe Sun's orbit is made up of 360 degrees,
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Not Syncedone degree per day.
-
Not SyncedExcept not quite.
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Not SyncedWe have to add 5 and a fourth
days or else our sundials break. -
Not SyncedDown to Venus and Mercury,
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Not Syncedthese guys are weird because
they like to hang around the Sun. -
Not SyncedFun fact: Venus is actually bright enough
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Not Syncedto help out the Sun and Moon sometimes.
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Not SyncedWhen it's helping the
Sun, we call it Lucifer, -
Not SyncedTHE LIGHT-BRINGER.
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Not SyncedAnd when it's helping the
Moon we call it Vesper, -
Not Syncedthe sleepy-time guy.
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Not SyncedMercury tries to do the same thing,
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Not Syncedbut he's much more lame and cringe,
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Not Syncedso he can't.
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Not SyncedThe Moon's got phases, as you know,
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Not Syncedand she gets closer and
farther away at different times. -
Not SyncedEndymion figured out lots of
cool info about the Moon's orbit, -
Not Syncedand you assholes bullied him for it.
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Not SyncedYeah.
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Not SyncedThis man unraveled the
secrets of the universe, -
Not Syncedand in return, everyone goes,
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Not Synced"Ho ho ho, he's in love with the moon."
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Not SyncedThat's because humans
are sick in the head. -
Not SyncedThey'd rather read stories
about bloodshed and massacres -
Not Syncedand think that matters more
than the fabric of reality. -
Not SyncedGet a clue.
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Not SyncedAnyway, the Moon has phases
because of the way -
Not Syncedit borrows light from the Sun.
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Not SyncedWhich might be what
these other guys do, too, -
Not Syncedwe don't know yet.
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Not SyncedAll those spots on it
are actually puddles, -
Not Syncedbecause it likes to draw up
moisture from the Earth, -
Not Syncedwhich is where we get the tides.
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Not SyncedAnd every now and then
it casts its shadow on Earth. -
Not SyncedWe call these "eclipses"
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Not Syncedand they are FREAKIN' WICKED.
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Not SyncedEclipses can happen
the other way around, too. -
Not SyncedAnd the way these happen prove
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Not Syncedthat the Moon is bigger than the Earth
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Not Syncedand the Sun's way bigger
than both of them. -
Not SyncedOh, and just so we're clear,
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Not Syncedeclipses are a natural thing,
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Not Syncedit's not the apocalypse or God's wrath.
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Not SyncedThey follow rules, even the
Greeks could predict them. -
Not SyncedSettle down.
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Not SyncedBack to the planets,
- Title:
- Pliny Explains it All: The Historia Naturalis Abridged (Books I-II) -- Sam O'Nella
- Description:
-
Happy Halloween everybody
Original text:https://www.perseus.tufts.edu/hopper/text?doc=Perseus%3Atext%3A1999.02.0137%3Abook%3D2%3Achapter%3D1
Orchestral music from book titles:
"Bright Blue Blow" by Makai Symphony
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g3-XS5QroY____
Check out my other channel, Sam O'Nella Vlog!
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCvayZDkq6wTj5EQtulrpgZAFollow me on twitter!
https://twitter.com/Sam_ONellaIntro and outro song:
"Brandenburg Concerto No. 4 in G, Movement I (Allegro), BWV 1049" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/ - Video Language:
- English
- Duration:
- 24:28