How "she" became an IAS officer | Surabhi Gautam | TEDxRGPV

Surabhi Gautam was born in an orthodox village of Madhya Pradesh, where girl children had unequal rights. Years later, she walks into the same village, and the entire village is celebrating her success. She says that knowledge is the only art of recognition.

Surabhi Gautam is an RGPV alumni and has secured AIR 1 in the Indian Engineering Services (IES). She has worked at Bhabha Atomic Research Center and Indian Railways. She has recently secured AIR 50 in the UPSC Civil Services Exam. She completed her B. tech in an ordinary engineering college and went on to work in BARC as a scientist through GATE score. Later she prepared vigorously for IES-2013, and with flying colors, she became the first ranker. She then chose to work in Indian Railways Signal Engineers and is currently serving the nation.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at https://www.ted.com/tedx

Namaste!

Today, as you see me
as a package of success,

when my bio says that I have cleared
all the top prestigious exams

and interviews of India.

My friends, let me tell you
not more about my successes

but more about my rejections, my failures,
and my determination, my willpower

that made me get those successes.

So my story starts from a small
sleepy village of Madhya Pradesh

with a population
of barely a thousand people.

On the month of a rainy August,

a small girl was born
in an orthodox Brahmin family -

a family that was giant
and joint with 30 plus members -

it was not an event for them.

There was nothing that worth celebrating
happened that day when I was born,

only two souls on Earth were happy,

obviously, they were my parents,

for the rest of them,
it was a normal affair.

25 years down the line,
same girl, same village,

and the whole family
was welcoming her with garlands,

bang bang slogans like,

(Hindi) "What should a girl look like?
Like Surabhi Gautam! Why not?"

What made things
to become so different for her?

(Applause)

My dear friends, let me tell you
how things changed

not only for me but also for my parents,

how all the perspectives got changed
slowly, slowly, steadily, steadily.

I was in a joint family.

In a joint family, you know,
no child gets separate attention.

So we all were treated equally.

Life was OK. We were happy.

I got admission in my village school.

That was Hindi medium:

Madhya Pradesh Board School.

In 5th class,

something good happened with me
that I remember till date.

I got 100 out of 100
in my mathematics paper.

5th class was a board class.

So my teacher called me, and she said,

"See, I have never seen anybody
scoring full marks,

that in mathematics, that in board exam.

You have done this,

so I think you are going to do
something good in your studies."

That was the day

when I felt appreciated and recognized,

and I had given this
clear message to the Universe

that in future, all I'm going to do
is to be a studious girl

because with studies comes recognition,

with studies will come
appreciation for me.

Otherwise, in this family,
I'm not going to get this at all.

So I started to focus more on studies.

But my heart - it always
wanted to diversify.

I wanted to do everything.

I started to try my hand
at painting, sketching, drawing.

I started to do embroidery also.

I was busy with my village priest,

and all the pujas,

and on all the Ramayan
(Hindi) events (English) and everything.

And I was not noticing the pain
that was creeping in my body.

I started to feel the pain
in my joints and my elbow

and every joint of my body,

and after some time, I was bedridden.

My parents took this decision
with their meager resources

to take me there.

We went there to a place called Jabalpur.

And the doctor said, "Your daughter
has this rheumatic fever."

What happens in this disease is -

there are viruses
always present in the air.

Now and then, they attack
the body of children,

and they create pain.

And when it becomes serious,
what happens, they attack your heart

and they disturb the semilunar valve.

And in some cases, it leads to death also.

It was a shock for them.

But then they asked,
"What can be the possible treatment?"

As a treatment, the doctor suggested

that she should be given
the dose of antibiotic,

and that antibiotic was penicillin.

There is some problem
with penicillin. What happens?

As soon as it enters the body,
it gets solidified

when it comes in contact with air.

So it was again a problem

because I had to be injected
with penicillin in every 15 days.

And not every MBBS doctor
was ready to do this

because it can also
lead to death in some cases.

So in the village, in every 15 days,

it was also difficult
to get a skilled doctor

to inject me with the confidence
that I will not die.

Well, life was going OK, OK.

There was a problem
of electricity in my village.

So I had to study by the kerosene lamp.

I had other problems.

There was no tuition.

School situation was also very bad.

Then the second best thing
of my life happened.

It was the 10th class result.

My 10th results came,

and I again scored 100 out of 100 -

this time not only in mathematics
but also in science.

(Applause)

And my percentage was good enough
to place me on the state merit list.

Well, I became

a pseudo-celebrity of my village.

I was in the news for quite a week,
and the newspaper interviewer came to me,

and he started to ask me questions,

"How did you do this?" you know?

"This is a great achievement and all."

And at last, he asked one question,

"Surabhi, what do you want
to become when you grow up?

You know, what is your career choice?"

Well, I was not knowing what a career is.

All I was knowing that,

"OK, I'm good at dancing,
so I can be a dancer.

I can be a singer, too.

I can paint also. But a career?"

I told him, "Sir,
I cannot recall anything.

I cannot answer this question to you."

He said, "Come on,
you have to answer this.

You have got a place in the merit list."

Suddenly, a word flashed
in my mind out of nowhere,

and I said, "I want to be a collector."

Well, he got the headline
for the next day,

and I was damned.

Next day, the news came.

(Hindi) "Surabhi
wants to become a collector."

(Applause)

This news changed, you know,

the course of everything
for me after that.

Everyone was coming to my home
with the sweets, to my parents,

and they were saying that,

(Hindi) "Mr. Gautam, your girl
will achieve something great."

I was enjoying all that limelight,

but I was not knowing
how to be a collector,

what a collector is,
and how important he is for society.

I went into 11th; I took mathematics,

and I forgot about all these things.

Yeah, I wanted to correct something
that was wrong in my village,

that was wrong with my education,

that was wrong
with the situation of my village,

that there was no electricity,
there was no proper hospital.

So I wanted those things
to be on right place,

but through collector or not through it,

I was not clear.

Well, I passed 12th,

and I got APJ Abdul Kalam Scholarship

for securing maximum marks
in science stream.

So again, one more
pseudo-celebrity status.

And with all this status,
I came to this big city of Bhopal,

in this very college

and took admission
for Bachelor of Engineering.

(Applause)

This decision of my parents to send me

from the village to a big city
for higher education

was a big decision

because I was the first girl
from my village to go out and study.

So it was not only I
who was studying here;

it was the whole village along with me.

If I [didn't] come back,

the hopes of all other girls,
the door for all other girls

will close automatically.

So I had to perform here anyhow.

Well, the first day of my college
was the worst day of my college,

to be frank, because what happened,

when I entered the college,

there was chemistry lab that was going on.

I entered the class,
and the ma'am was taking the lab.

She asked me, "OK,
you go and do titration."

Titration.

In my village, there was no lab.

I do not know the meaning
of titration in Hindi.

So I was standing there blank.

Again, I looked at ma'am.

She asked me, "Go there
and pick up the test tube."

First time in my life
I'd seen the test tube,

and I took that, and it broke.

And I was like, "Oh my God,
what I have done!"

Anyhow, I was hiding behind something
so that ma'am should not notice me.

And I passed one hour.

Then the next class: engineering physics.

Introductions were going on,
and everyone was standing

and fluently answering,
giving their introduction in English,

and I was freezing in my seat,

that when my turn will come,
what am I supposed to do?

What will I say?

I do not know English at all.

I'm from a Hindi medium school;
how will I introduce myself?

I was stealing words
from everyone's introduction,

and anyhow I jotted down the words
and gave my introduction.

And I thought, "OK, this has passed."

But the sir was not patient enough.

He asked me one more question.

He asked me: "OK. Tell me
the definition of potential."

OK, the basic question of physics.

I have got APJ Abdul Kalam scholarship
for scoring maximum marks in physics, PCM.

But I had to answer this in English.

And I cannot frame a sentence -

a single sentence in English.

So I just stood there and I kept mum.

Teacher came to me and he said,

"Have you really completed your 12th?

Have you really passed it?

You cannot answer this very basic
question of physics."

Only I knew how much I loved physics.

I'm not answering this
not because I do not know physics,

it is because I do not know English.

But this all was going on in my mind only.

I was not able to speak anything.

Well, I came back to my room,
and I wept, you know, I cried.

I just wanted to pack my bag
and go back to my village,

no more higher education, nothing else.

This city is not meant for me.

This college is not meant for me.

These people are not meant for me.

I called my parents.

That day they played
the role of Jambavan -

the role that Jambavan
played for Hanuman,

reminding him all of his great past

that "No, you can fight. No, you can fly."

They told me that,
"OK, you come back, but see,

you are closing the door
of all other girls of your village.

So you had to take up a decision."

Well, I picked the point,

and I decided to fight,

and I decided that by the end
of this semester

I'm going to be fluent in English.

Well, I took my engineering books,

I jotted down all the spellings
and everything,

I pasted them on my wall,

and all my walls were colored
with the spellings,

and I was always on the revision mode.

And it went deep inside
my subconscious mind

that, you know, that my dreams
also were in English after that,

with all the characters speech ...

(Applause)

And in the first semester, I topped -

I topped not only my college,

but I topped the whole university,

and I got Chancellor's
scholarship for that.

That day - that day I had this belief

that if you really want
to achieve something anyhow, you know,

you do not have any means,

because when I wanted
to improve my English,

I was not able to take coaching,

and I was not having
any English medium friend,

so I was totally unarmed.

But I do not know
how the universe conspired,

and I finally was able to give
a TED Talk even on this platform.

Well, the college passed,

and I completed my college
when I was twenty and a half,

so you need 21 years
as the minimum age for UPSC exam.

So meanwhile, I wrote GATE exam,
ISRO exam, BARC exam,

SAIL exam, and PPSC exam,

and after six months, I wrote IES exam.

And my dear friends,
I qualified all of them.

(Applause)

Then the first call letter that I got,

that was from Bhabha Atomic
Research Centre,

Department of Atomic Energy, Mumbai.

So I was very excited.

OK, I'm going to give this highly -

you know, touted as one of the most,
the first interview of India.

So I was about to appear
in that interview.

I consulted some of my seniors
about how it can be,

how should I prepare for it?

All I got was negative feedback:

See, Surabhi, in whole of our life,

we have never seen anybody
qualifying that interview.

OK, you want to go
to Mumbai for fun, then go,

but don't have this expectation
that you're going to do anything there.

Well, this - all this negativity,
I appeared in interview,

and I was the first scientist

to whom I was known
as a scientist in my life.

So, I qualified that interview
and I shifted to Mumbai,

and I became a nuclear scientist.

Well, I wrote IES exam meanwhile,

and it takes one year
for the results to come.

After one year, the result came.

And I was AIR 1, not from any IIT,
not from any NIT,

I was from UIT, and I topped the exam.

(Applause) (Cheering)

I was the first lady in India
to top Engineering Services Exam,

and my marks were maximum
in the history of UPSC till date.

(Applause)

So finally, after becoming
a Sarkari officer, I resigned from BARC,

and I joined Indian Railways
through Engineering Service,

and I went to Secunderabad
for Railways training.

I was getting a salary;

there is no financial problem.

You know, I was getting
respect from society.

So I didn't want to study anymore,

no hard work,

so all party was waiting for me.

And I was very excited,

"OK, life is now going
to be a smooth ride,

no more hard work,
no more sacrifices and all;

I have done enough."

Well, I joined Railways,
and I was thinking to enjoy.

I was trying hard to enjoy and be happy.

But I was not happy.

And I was not knowing what is wrong
with all these things.

So I called my mother, and I asked her,

"Why is it happening with me?
Why I am not enjoying all this?"

She said, "Do you remember
your 10th class interview?

Have you ever read
that piece of paper again

that you said you want to be something
or you want to do something

for your village and all those things?

Was this struggle was only
for a Sarkari job or a good salary,

or was this for something else also?"

Well, I really recalled,
and I read this interview again.

And I don't know how many times
in my life I've read it.

And I decided to prepare
for civil service examination.

Well, this examination, I want to say,

is one of the toughest exams,
in not only India but in the world.

Eleven like aspirants appear for this,

and mostly it takes four, five
attempts for them to clear.

Students in Delhi,
if you will go there and see,

they are giving their 24 hours every day

and preparing for this exam.

And I was doing the job of Railways,
was deciding to prepare for this exam.

I was hardly getting three or four hours
from my training to prepare for this exam.

I could not take leave in training also.

So the decision was going to be
a very tough decision for me,

but with all those things,
I decided to go ahead,

and I started my preparation.

I was mostly on train roaming
for Railway training, so I got a tab,

and I downloaded all the things,

so I started reading online.

I read on mobile, I read in my tab,

and I was mostly on,
you know, stealing mode.

I was stealing minutes from hours.

And sometimes I felt frustrated;
I felt like giving up.

Again, I called my mom.

She was a continuous mentor for me.

So I called her, I said,

"See, even after becoming
a Sarkari officer,

I have to do again all these things,
life is so miserable for me.

I was never enjoying when I was a child,

and today, also when I'm an officer,

I'm not enjoying.

I'm only doing studies,

and I don't know
where it is going to lead.

Am I going to qualify it or not?

I'm not sure, but still
I am again studying,

studying all the time.

She said me one thing,

"See, you are 23. When I was 23,
I had three children.

The youngest of them was 10 months old.

I had a family of 30-plus members
to whom I had to cook meal.

Then I had a job 10 kilometers away
from our village to another village,

so I had to go and do that also,

and then I had allergic skin,
so for that, I had to visit doctor,

and I have to cover my body all the time.

So I had all these problems,
but I never complained.

You, on the other hand,

do not have any social responsibility,
family responsibility,

all you have is your dream.

All you want is to prove for yourself

because for others,
you have already proved.

This is your task. You have to do.

And you are saying
life is difficult for you.

You need to change your lenses better."

That day I stopped complaining
mostly, at least with her,

and I was totally on a mission mode.

All my scarcities,
I converted them into my luxuries.

The more I struggled,
the more strong I became.

And finally, I got All India Rank 50
in this coveted exam -

Civil Services Examination 2016.

(Applause)

To summarize:

At last, I believed in these words.

These words truly tell my story.

And I also want to convey
these words to you also,

"There is no substitute for hard work,
and there is no shortcut to success."

And my own four lines that I wrote -

I want to say (Hindi),

"Had I mourned for what I had not got -
Had I mourned for what I had not got

I wouldn't have been able
to improve in the opportunities I got.

It is stubbornness to fight
with fate and achieve something.

These things would not
have arisen in me like this.

But it was my promise
to myself to keep on moving

I also mourned about getting nothing.

But it was my promise
to myself to keep on moving.

Whatever my steps measured is less.

Whatever my steps measured is less.

This is the secret
to reach your destination.

This is the secret
to reach your destination."

(Applause)

Thanks for being such a patient
and such a good audience.

Thanks TED and thanks to everyone.

(Applause) (Cheering)