Découverte de la non-binarité : le témoignage de Cami

Even if you don’t get it

you can still support and

respect our identity.

It’s valid and it exists.

Testimonials: Non-binary Identities

I’m Camille, 22, non-binary

and I’m here to talk about non-binarity.

Non-binary is an umbrella term

for all gender identities

that aren’t strictly male or female.

It could mean being no gender (agender)

or it could be all fluid identities,

as if we were imagining gender

as a spectrum with two poles

masculine and feminine

We can move on this spectrum like a cursor

So, this includes people who are

gender-fluid, demi-gender, pangender, etc.

I never really identified with femininity.

At 18,

I started questioning my gender identity.

I was dating a trans man.

And he helped me put words to my identity:

non-binary.

I think because he had access to

more information than I did,

he was able to help me to find

the word of my identity.

Gender identity is about who we are

the gender you feel, live and experience.

Gender expression, on the other hand,

is how we present that identity to others.

For example, someone can identify as a man

so he is a man.

He can have a feminine gender expression,

with many makers considered

feminine in society.

Like Bilal Hassani, who is a man

but has a feminine gender expression.

When I came out as non-binary,

I told my parents

I wanted to change my name.

I was 20, so that was two years ago.

My mom was chill,

she was already very aware of gender topic

She is very open-minded,

and made me feel safe.

My dad was a bit trickier.

I waited longer to tell him and

ended up doing it over text.

Because it felt easier that way.

And he responded well.

He said he didn’t fully understand

but reassured me he’d support me

no matter what and

that it didn’t change anything for him.

He still loved me the same

My grandma had a harder time with it.

Because it was just so far from her world.

She grew up in the countryside,

later moved to Paris,

and was married to my grandpa for 50 years.

She was part of a cis-heteronormative way

where she never questioned her own identity

or anyone else’s.

So, when I told her about it,

she was a bit taken back.

But she’s always tried her best

to respect me

She makes a huge effort,

and she hardly ever messes up my name.

I applied to change my name in 2019.

I submitted my request

to the city town hall where I lived.

I picked up a file that I filled out

with statements from friends and family

confirming they used

the name Cami to address me.

I asked my school to write me a letter of

a letter of support and so on.

Then I submitted my application

and waited a few months.

In fact, it varies depending on the city,

and I was accepted for the name change.

Misgendering someone means

using the wrong pronouns for them.

So misgendering a non-binary person

who explicitly said to use neutral pronouns

such as “they/them”, but someone refers

to them as “he” or “she” instead

Personally, I use pronouns “she/her”

when speaking and

neutral pronouns when writing.