You want to let people in—truly, you do—but every time closeness feels too real, something inside whispers, be careful. For those who feel avoidant, connection is both the thing they crave and the thing that terrifies them most. It’s not coldness; it’s self-protection shaped by fear of rejection, past wounds, and emotions that sometimes feel too big to carry. This video unpacks what avoidant people wish you knew—how their quiet push-pull dance is really a fight to feel safe and loved at the same time. If you’ve ever felt torn between wanting love and needing distance, what’s one thing you wish others could understand about you?

More on avoidant personality: https://youtu.be/fFNA4De2mAc?si=Fv2193VaqbcCgXB5

Credits:
Researcher/Writer: Brijesh Chovatiya
Script Reviewer: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Ashleigh
Animator: Sun Biscuit
Youtube Manager: Cindy Cheong
Director: Tai Khuong
Assisted: Brisky Quach & Kevin Jonguitud Garcia

3 Further Readings:

Alden, L. E., & Taylor, C. T. (2004). Interpersonal processes in social phobia. Clinical Psychology Review, 24(7), 857–882. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.cpr.2004.07.006

Hummelen, B., Wilberg, T., Pedersen, G., & Karterud, S. (2007). The relationship between avoidant personality disorder and social phobia. Comprehensive Psychiatry, 48(5), 395–403. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.comppsych.2007.04.004

Yoon, K. L., Fitzgerald, D. A., Angstadt, M., McCarron, R. A., & Phan, K. L. (2007). Amygdala reactivity to emotional faces in avoidant personality disorder: An fMRI study. Psychiatry Research: Neuroimaging, 154(1), 71–80. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.pscychresns.2006.06.004