Healing inside prison | Jacques Verduin and Fateen Jackson | TEDxSanQuentin

Years before emotional intelligence became the latest catchphrase. Jacques Verduin was offering innovative programs that taught this revolutionary concept to prisoners. Don't miss the powerful ending, a spoken word piece by Fateen Jackson, an incarcerated facilitator working with Jacques.

Jacques Verduin is currently the Director of Insight-Out. He also founded the Insight Prison Project, which under his leadership produced the gold standard restorative justice program called VOEG. His efforts have helped birth the Prison Mindfulness Initiative, the Prison Yoga Project, the Insight Garden Project, and Veterans Healing Veterans, among others. All of these organizations are being actively replicated. In addition to California, he is a consultant to the U.S. State Department, and he and his staff have traveled abroad to train professionals in Guatemala, El Salvador, Bosnia, and the Netherlands.

Fateen Jackson has fully accepted responsibility for all of the wrong he has done throughout his life. He has denounced all gang activity and has dedicated himself to being a peace advocate and peacemaker. He's currently working toward becoming a state certified domestic violence counselor/facilitator and is also a student in the Prison University Project here at San Quentin. Only recently did Fateen discover his hidden creative talent of being a spoken word expressionist. He was inspired by a fellow prisoner to write and perform his material and has since developed a passion for the art. He now uses its platform for redemption, healing, and enlightenment.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx

Jacques Verduin: Thank you.

My father was a prisoner.

More precisely,
my father was a war prisoner.

As an 18-year-old young man

living in Holland
during the Second World War,

he was kidnapped

and transported deep into Germany
to do forced labor for the Germans.

He had a tough time,

but he survived.

As kids, we could hear him
scream in his sleep,

dealing with his traumas.

When the Berlin Wall came down,
he wanted to go back:

back to find his captors,

back to heal the broken places,

back to make his peace.

And he did.

And he managed to find
some of the captors,

some of the surviving soldiers,

and they sat in a circle,
and they sat in a living room,

and pain was spoken,

and truths about that pain were spoken.

Needs were expressed;

forgiveness was offered;

apologies were extended and accepted.

My father came back a radically changed
human being from that trip.

I've done about 20 years of time in here.

I get to go home at night, though.

But still, I find myself
sitting in circles of men

seeking to reconcile
themselves with their past.

And in those 20 years,
we've put together one program.

We call it a standard offender
accountability program named GRIP -

Guiding Rage Into Power.

The main goal, the main focus
of that program

is to leave prison before you get out.

It's totally possible.

And for some of you on the outside,

there's a couple of clues too
about the prison between your ears, right?

So,

almost 25% of our graduates are out,

have been released.

Exactly 0%, four years later,
have come back.

(Applause)

Pretty astounding given the 64%
average recidivism rate in California.

So,

with a small investment,
we're saving millions of dollars.

Give us a bit more, we're saving
hundreds of millions of dollars

while improving public safety,

while preventing revictimization.

What are we waiting for?

And it isn't just our programs.

There's a lot of good programs
here in San Quentin.

I think for those of you present here,

it's fair to say that
perhaps you're realizing

this is one of the most underreported,
unique social experiments of our time,

and it's called San Quentin State Prison.

(Applause)

This place, or parts of it,

have been changed into a rehab university,

a greenhouse.

Communities have come in
and built a lighthouse that shines.

They think they're the watchtowers,

but it's really a lighthouse tower -
right? - that shines on our communities.

And men are going back
to these communities,

that have something to give back
to the places they took from.

Now, how profound is that?

How profound is that in a society
that is steeped in violence?

Need I remind you

of the hundreds of school shootings
that have happened since Sandy Hook?

Need I talk about the racial strife

in current America?

The growing religious divisions, too, now.

So these men have something to give back -

they're change agents.

So this is TED, right?

And incredible innovations
have been made out of TED -

to medicine, education, design, etc.

But our prisons are lagging behind so far
as an institution compared to those.

We think it's time
to reframe what prison is.

We think it can be
a hub of change, obviously.

It can be a resource to the community -

it can give back to the community -

rather than this place
that dumps parolees on our streets.

So this is a call for us to come together

and do something
with the excitement in this room

and design a new American prison.

Are you on for it?

(Shouting) (Applause)

Prison reform -

we don't just need to talk
about letting more people out,

we need to talk about how they come out.

95% of all prisoners eventually come out
to be somebody's neighbor.

How do you want them?

We feel we have developed a technology

to transform suffering and violence
into learning and healing,

just like that.

So let's put it to use.

In closing, from one of our students,

a quote.

And this quote's sort of -

it's eight words, that's all it is,

but it describes very much
the program we're doing.

He said, "You know, I learned in GRIP
that hurt people hurt people.

That I lashed out from the pain inside
that I didn't know what to do with."

He said, "And then I learned
that healed people heal people.

That to the extent I mend my brokenness,

I have agency to help others to do that.

That lesson is really
all I needed to learn."

And if any one of you in this room
or at home listening to this

has ever been hurt by an act of violence,

this piece is for you.

Listen closely; take it in.

I give you Fateen Jackson.

(Applause) (Cheering)

Fateen Jackson: It is said
that the measure of a man

is how he stands up to personal adversity.

But I say, in this case,

it's how he face up
to his own authenticity,

how he accepts his own vulnerability,

and how he takes personal responsibility,

with honesty,

for all of his past violent activities.

It is the measure of a decent human being
when one can come clean

and recognize when they have
wrongfully victimized the innocent,

with or without criminal intent,

and seek to make amends with them.

It doesn't matter
if one just only lost their way

or if one thought that it was justified

for the sake of their pride

to see another person pay.

It was not okay.

We should have realized
that there was always another way.

Therefore, today,

I pray

that I can help all the lives
who have been victimized

by those who had violent minds,

like mine's,

to help you heal and survive.

I'll start by saying that I
truly apologize.

I apologize for all the sorrow
that you felt yesterday,

the dismay you may feel today

and tomorrow.

I apologize for the lingering hurt,
pain, and drain that still remains.

I apologize for dishonoring your name
by shamefully making you to blame.

I apologize for my cognitive dissonance

being in the cause of my own
psychological imprisonment,

which aided my distorted sense
of narcissistic selfishness.

I apologize for making you feel unsafe

and for not helping
make the world a better place.

I apologize for all of those
who have perpetrated violence against you,

whether it was accidental or intentional,

physical or emotional.

I hold myself accountable

because I too

have committed violent acts
against individuals like you

as a participating vulture
in a violent culture.

And if the people
who hurt you won't say it,

then I will

because that's how I feel,

in hopes that my empathetic appeal

can help you heal.

Today, I'm happy to say
that I'm no longer in denial,

which I admit I was for quite a while.

Now I'm willing to go the extra mile

to help those I hurt and harmed
restore their authentic smile,

to help lift your spirit
from a state of despair,

to help calm your fears
and respect your tears,

to share my remorse
that's making me change my life course

because I care.

Yes, I care

about your well-being and welfare.

It's only fair that I openly share
this new man in me

who was seeking to reconnect
with my morality and humanity.

Because for me,

this is part of the debt I owe
to everybody in society,

especially you and your family

and my family.

So for all you survivors out there,

I hope you can accept my sincere apology

as I strive to survive my own victimology.

Your wounds and traumas
would forever be a part of me,

and never again will I senselessly
act out violently.

Lastly, and most importantly,

I dedicate this to you, to all of you,
powerful champion survivors,

as part of my restitute,

to include a tribute
for the resilient you.

And therefore I salute.

I salute you for not letting your grief

destroy your belief

in human decency
and in your own inner peace.

I salute you for your enduring bravery

and for being determined
to conquer your traumas courageously.

I salute you for having an open heart
and being willing to forgive.

I salute you for striving to overcome,

for not letting the attack hold you back,

because you decided to be strong,

to move on,

and live.

And to all the beautiful souls
who have passed on to a better place,

who have been embraced
inside the essence of God's loving grace,

I salute you in spirit.

I salute you through prayer
to ensure that God will let you hear it.

Your names will remain

in the hearts and minds
of loved ones who have been left behind.

This is how and why you are survived.

And through all the hurt and pain
from being slain,

I promise you that your death
will not be in vain.

That's why I salute you too, all the same.

Please know that I now honor your names,

which are precious treasures in life.

And so it is my delight and pleasure
to show you my true measure

as a decent human being,

to come clean,

to make amends and help bring us together,

to help make life more lovable,

peaceful,

and more better.

Because of this gesture,

I now view the word
"victims" very differently.

Specifically, what it means to me
is victors in conquering traumas,

incredible master survivors.

You are all more than worthy
of being admired.

That's why I exalt you and salute you.

(Applause) (Cheering)

[TEDxSanQuentin is a San Quentin
Media Center Production.]

[This Event Was Produced, Filmed,
and Edited By Incarcerated Specialists]