White Chicks (2004) Your Mother Insult Fight

HEATHER: Look who just flew in from the slums of Beverly Hills.

MEGAN: It's the Beverly H [OMITTED] billys.

TIFFANY: Squeeze me?

BRITTANY: No, you dick.

TIFFANY: I'm sorry, but we just saw your new video.

They had a screening over at Sax Fifth Avenue in the security office.

[LAUGHTER] A clept [OMITTED] maniac.

MEGAN: Your mother shops at Sax.

TIFFANY: What? [NOISE]

BRITTANY: My God, you want to talk about mothers,

you want to talk about mothers. You want to talk about mothers. [OVERLAPPING] It's mother time.

Your mother's so dumb she went to Dr. Drake for a pap smear.

Something's wrong, Dr. Drake.

My coochi's doing the bean box. [NOISES]

HEATHER: Well, your mother is so stupid,

she exercises when she could just get like, liposuction or something.

TIFFANY: Your mother's so old that her breast milk is powdered. You breastfeed like this. [LAUGHTER]

HEATHER: Your mother is so like...

She's so... Megan, you go.

MEGAN: Your mother is so stupid that she goes to

Barney's rooftop deck restaurant for lunch and orders a

Nicoise salad and calls it a 'Nicoys' salad.

'Nickoys' salad.

TIFFANY: Your mother's [OMITTED] is so hairy,

it looks like Don King's about to pop out and say, 'Only in America.'

HEATHER: Your mother is so stupid that she goes into Gucci,

and she tries to buy vending and stuff.

MR VANDERGELD: Megan, Heather, come on now, girls.

Is this any way to speak to your party guests?

Wow. Brittany and Tiffany Wilson.

Haven't seen you since you were smaller.

BRITTANY: Well, we're all grown up now.

MR VANDERGELD: I can see that. Ladies, I fully expect to see you later at the white party.

I think it's going to be the best one ever.

TIFFANY: We'll be there.

BRITTANY: Take care. Bye.

TIFFANY: Bye Mr. D. BRITTANY: Good seeing you again.

HEATHER: This isn't over yet.

MEGAN: This is a long weekend.

You better watch your back. Ladies. [CLICKING SOUND]

BRITTANY: Whatever.

TORI: I can't believe you guys just did that to the Vandergelds.

You know they could take you off the scene just like that.

KAREN: Yeah, but it was so cool,

you guys, so cool.

BRITTANY: Isn't that Denise Porter from New York One News?

TORI: I'm working on getting you an interview with her. Great for your image.

BRITTANY: I think I'm going to go over there and introduce myself.

TORI: Do you think now is a good time?

BRITTANY: Actually, it's a perfect time.

Wouldn't want to miss a photo op. [OVERLAPPING].

TIFFANY: See you later. TORI: Have fun.

KAREN: What's wrong, honey? Do you just get cramps? Do you need a tamp?

LISA: Just a heating pad.

SERVER: Haut d'oeuvres?

TIFFANY: Thank you, Wolfgang Paco.

Would you give that to baby? Thank you. Bye, Chico.

SERVER: Bon appetit.

TIFFANY: Fabulos.

KAREN: I'll have one.

BRITTANY: Hi, my name is...

DENISE PORTER: Brittany Wilson, of course.

BRITTANY: Yeah! How'd you know? Brittany Wilson.

DENISE PORTER: It's my job to know. Besides, your publicist

Tori has been calling me nonstop about setting up an interview with you.

BRITTANY: Well, if I would have known you were so beautiful,

I probably would have called you myself.

DENISE PORTER: Well, If I wasn't mistaken,

I'd think you were flirting with me, Miss Wilson.

BRITTANY: Me? Flirting with you?

A girl. Never! [LAUGHTER] I'm sorry, honey.

I don't eat sushi. Strictly beef. [LAUGHTER]

DENISE PORTER: Boy, you're really strong, aren't you?

BRITTANY: From all that protein. [LAUGHTER]