GROUP FACILITATION ROLE PLAY

Jake: Welcome everybody.

So, I'm really excited
you're all here today.

Tori and I are going to be,
co-facilitating this group and,

I just hope it's a place, that's safe for
all of us to come, gather, and kind of

just share our different
experiences, so I just really hope

you're, excited to be here,
as excited as Tori

and I are, and, we
have a good time.

So, just to start off.

Uh, I just want to tell you the purpose
of our group.

Basically, our purpose is to equip and
empower all of us.

Uh, you're all students, and we're going to
equip you all to empower and deal with your-

empower you, to deal with your stress.

Um, in some really practical ways.

And just to start off, like I said this is
a safe place, so we're just going to

kind of talk about confidentiality
for a second.

And confidentiality is basically, just
where, what kind of happens in this room

stays in this room.

This is a safe place, like I said.

This is a place where we can all just
kind of gather.

Kind of share our different struggles,
and concerns, fears, worries, and,

kind of just talk about it.

And, it's not going to leave this place, so.

I encourage you all to not tell anybody
about what you talk about in this place.

Not gossip about each other, and we're
not going to be telling anybody

about what you guys talk about in this
space as well.

Uh, with that being said, though,

obviously if somebody mentions something
about hurting themselves or hurting others

or any kind of ideas around possibly
doing that, that's kind of where we

talk to our supervisors and just make sure
that everybody's safe.

And, that everything is good, and we're
kind of growing and progressing in that.

So, that's just kind of what this groups
about, we're just going to be dealing with

our stress, and me helping you along
the ways, so.

Glad you're here.

Tori: So, with that I want to open it
up to the group, what are some rules

or some guidelines that you'd like
all of us to follow.

I know for me personally, like Jake was
talking about, like I don't want what I

talk about here to go outside of this room.

So, let's just think of a few, um,
guidelines, or common rules that are some

things we want to guide our group through
this time.

Does anybody want to start?

Alison: Um, I think that, respect should
really be a big one.

Because I don't want to be made fun of
if somebody handles something a little

bit better than I have been handling it.

Tori: And your name was?

Allison: Allison.

Tori: Allison, thank you Allison,
thank you for sharing.

Shannon: Um, I think that, we should
all, come like, frequently to group.

I don't think we should skip out
if that makes sense.

Tori: So, attendance is mandatory
in class, okay.

Jake: That's a really good one.

Tori: Does that sound good to everybody?

And your name was?

Shannon: Shannon.

Tori: Shannon and Allison.

Lea: And I'm Lea, and I think you should
be on time because I hate when people

are late and they interrupt what I'm doing
and stuff, so.

Tori: Attendance, on time, and respect,
confidentiality, is there anything else

in our group?

Lea: Maybe we should have to share.

Jake: Those are good ones, yeah.

Jake: Sharings good.

Tori: Participation in all aspects.

That's really good.

Jake: And if you don't share, you might
say what someone else is, so that's good.

Tori: Even if it's just encouragement
that's really good.

So, we're going to go ahead and let Jake
do our game.

Jake: So, we're going to kind of just
start off with a really fun icebreaker.

So, we're all here because we kind of have
stress, and we're all dealing with stress

in some different ways.

So, we're going to do what we like to
call the net or network.

Um, ways to deal with stress.

Or network of strains.

And this is really fun, we're just going
to kind of go around.

You can kind of popcorn however you want.

However, we're going to use a string,
to make our net.

And basically you're going to share some
way you cope with stress, something that

helps you destress, um, or something you
do to prevent stress.

And then we'll kind of take note of these
in our minds.

And remember some really practical ways
to decrease stress after kind of going

this point too.

And it's kind of just this really fun
way to get an icebreaker started.

So, I'm going to kind of start.

Um, something I like to do to prevent stress,
especially when I was in college and stuff.

Is just to make sure that I plan ahead.

The five p's of y'know, planning ahead for
me are: prior planning prevents poor performance.

And I think that's just a really good way
to prevent stress.

So, that's why, um, I'm going to throw
it to Allison.

And you can just again say your name
real quick and-

Allison: Um, I'm Allison, um, one of the
things that I like to do with my friends

like, get off campus, and we like to go
off and get something to eat.

And kind of just forget about all of our
due assignments, and all of that.

And just kind of, take a, like a good
hour or so to just kind of catch up,

and actually just talk.

And have a good conversation.

Jake: That's awesome, yeah.

Tori: Thank you for sharing.

Jake: So, just throw the string, and as we
kind of go around

you'll see a net starting to form,
which is kind of fun.

Shannon: Okay, so, I'm Shannon again, and
um, kind of similar to what Allison said.

I like to go to the coffee shop
my roommate works at.

'Cause it's just, easy, get some coffee,
do a little bit of homework,

and it's more relaxing than just sitting
in my room doing it.

Tori: Thanks for sharing.

[Laughter]

Shannon: Golly.

[Laughter]

Lea: Um, the way that I like to destress,
I like to work out.

And I feel like it sends a nice release
and it's also healthy for me so.

Tori: Thanks for sharing.

Um, one way I like to destress is, it
sounds like you guys all like to go

somewhere, I actually like to stay home
in my room.

And I have Christmas lights that I like to
light, and light, and I call my grandma.

And just get everything off my chest,
'cause, yeah, just kind of talk through

my problems and what's going on.

Jake: Something that helps me destress
when I have time, maybe on like a break or

at the end of the semester, is just to go
on like a really short weekend trip or

something, and just kind of go on one,
I think that's really helpful, okay.

Shannon: Ah, okay.

Um, I like to keep a calendar.

That helps me destress.

If I just know everything that I have
going on in the near future it really

helps to be able, like a whiteboard that
we write it down, so.

Lea: Um, another way I like to destress,
I like to talk to my mom.

Like she helps me like, I don't know, to
process things, and to, like, strategize,

like what's important, and what can wait,
and all of that.

Tori: Having a support system, that's good.

Allison: Um, kind of piggybacking off of
yours and yours, I like to, uh, call my family

back home, 'cause I'm kind of far away.

So, being able to kind of talk to them,
and just kind of tell them everything

that's going on, or, not even like school
and stuff but just like everything that's

going on with life just kind of helps me
relax and take everything in, and just,

y'know, take a deep breath, and realize
like, my mom will like let me know.

I can do this, you're fine, like just
settle down.

Tori: That's awesome.

Jake: Sounds like your family is a good
supporting element.

Allison: They are.

Tori: So, the second one is kind of like
Shannon said.

I like to organize everything.

So, I color code everything, put it in a
planner, write it on sticky notes,

tell people about it.

I have reminders, everywhere for
everything, so.

It helps you be very organized, so you
can, checklist of my friends.

Jake: So, has everybody gone twice?

Okay, this is good.

So, just kind of look at the string, think
about all the different ways that you can

be thinking of, possible opportunities to
decrease your stress, or, just kind of

feel a little more relaxed this week, yeah?

Tori: Yeah, thanks for sharing guys.

Alright, so with that we're going to
go ahead and open it up.

Um, we're going-like we talked about,
we're talking about some stress.

So, let's go ahead and just go around the
room and really open it up for some things

that have been stressing us out this week.

Some things that have been on our mind.

Something that's weighing us down.

As we're going through this I'm sure
you've thought about something that's

really, like, burdening you.

So, let's just go ahead and open it up.

Um, I can start.

Um, we have some big assignments that
are coming up that are due.

So, having to just sit for awhile and
reorganize everything.

Just kind of been stressful to see
how many things are on my to do

list, so I just sat today and reorganized
everything.

Put it all in my planner, color coded it,
made sticky notes, hole punch everything,

put it where it goes.

So, working on organization was
stressing me out and dealt with a little bit.

But now, just seeing how much I have to
do in the next few weeks is really getting to me.

So, that's mine if somebody else wants
to share.

Allison: Um, one of my biggest things is,
time managment.

It's really hard, because, I'm an athlete.

So, we're doing a lot of traveling, and
since we're a spring sport, it's um,

it really conflicts with a lot of scheduling
and classes and stuff, because of the

inclement weather like everything gets
rescheduled, and we're trying to put all

these games in a matter of like,
three weeks.

And, it's really stressful just, y'know
like I'm missing class, like I don't think

I've been to one of my major classes in
like probably a month.

I haven't been there, and all of the
sudden I'm missing like, oh my gosh, we

have these assignments due, we have these
assignments due, and all of the sudden,

I have to make up a test that I'm going
to miss and I have to schedule beforehand.

And then I have another quiz, and all
these other papers, and it's really

starting to get to me, because, y'know,
being an athlete you have to figure out

how to, um, what's the word, like you have
to figure out how to balance everything.

So, you have to like, kind of like think
ahead and start like, okay you're like

'I'm going to miss this test so I have to
try and make it on this day'.

Plot twist, game gets cancelled, rescheduled
for that day, so you have to reschedule

something that's already rescheduled,
and so you end up missing that and teachers

kind of start, or professors start, kind
of getting on your case because you're

missing so much class, and you're not
turning in things in like on time.

Or you're asking for extensions, or you're
asking for, y'know.

And it's really starting to like, be a
hassle with games and everything.

Like, I'm really tired, like I really
don't get back to campus until,

like, like I'm leaving at like nine in the
morning sometimes and I'm not getting

back until one a.m. with an eight o'clock
class the next day.

And there's literally no time to do
homework, and, I'm one of those people

that get, motion, well not motion sick,
if I try to read or do homework on like

a moving vehicle, I get like sick, and I
can't do it.

And I'll like, this time goes away, and I
come back, and I'm just too tired from

doing like, from moving.

I'm physically exhausted, and I think
I'm just really starting to get to the

point where I'm mentally tired.

And my tolerance and everything is just
going downhill, from like, here on out.

And I'm like stressing out because big
things are being due, and I have to find

out literally how to do all of them in
a matter of days.

Tori: I'm sure we all of something that
can really impact Allison, and we really

thank you for sharing.

Really thank you for the time that you
have taken out to come here with us.

'Cause like you said your schedule is
so busy, so, thank you for committing to

this time, and coming to share and
actually getting [unintelligible]

Does anybody else want to share?

Lea: Well, this last year I had something
change for me personally.

Like, I, last semester I was able to see
completely and I didn't have any issues.

And then, like, the day after our last
final, I went and got a minor surgery,

and when I woke up from my surgery
I didn't have vision.

So, like, I've been having to deal with
losing my vision, not working, figuring

out if I'll ever get my vision back.

Will this ever happen again?

And on top of that like, I've become
almost like a burden because like I can't

do a lot of things for myself, so I have
to depend on other people that assist me.

And that stresses me out because, I was
raised to be very independent.

And having to be dependent, I guess it's,
it's beneficial because it's teaching me

how to need someone, but I don't
like needing people.

And that's just been hard for me, now,
plus assignments and everything.

It's really hard because now I used to
be able to write a whole paper in a night.

Now I have to plan three, four, nights
ahead of time.

Or, like, I'm doing something on the
computer in class and everyone else

is done, and, I'm still trying to figure
out what link they hit.

And so, it's just really stressful, and
like the unknown.

And, um, and like no one's really given
me answers, and it's scary at the same time.

I just don't know like, where to go.

And I have some people like, 'Oh, you just
got to have to be faithful and stuff.'

And it's like, I've been faithful since the
beginning, but how faithful do you want

me to be?

And, what point, do I get to where I'm
wrong for being frustrated, and tired

of waiting, and, so.

It's just been hard, so it's like a
challenge between my faith and, it all.

So, it's just hard.

Tori: Thanks for sharing.

Really appreciate you being here, and
sharing with everybody.

Like I said about Allison, we all have
something to learn from you,

and us-and you from us.

So, really thank you for sharing.

That has to be hard physically and mentally.

Like you said, dealing with your eyesight
being gone and having to work through

everything like you said, has slowed you
down but, knowing that your still taking

steps to work towards achievements, awesome,
we're so thankful that you're here to share with us.

Thank you.

Shannon: I think what's been like the most
stressful thing for me this semester is

that I've had two close family members
pass away, and, um, kind of like with school

I've been busy.

And there's always people.

Like my roommates are always there, and
so like, I can put it on the backburner.

Like, my grades just goes away for
a little bit.

And I'm really stressed out about going
home and dealing with it.

'Cause I know like, I'm going to go home,
and I spent like, especially in the first

month, because I nanny, so the kids I
nanny are still in school.

So, I don't have a lot going on the
first month.

And so I know I'm going to have just like
a lot of time to just think.

And I'm really not looking forward to that.

And it's been stressing me out because
like the closer we get to finals the closer

I get to going home.

And like, I want to go home and I want to
spend time with my family.

But I also would like to just not think
about the grief that would accompany, so.

Tori: Thank you for sharing.

We're so thankful that you're here.

Like I said, for the both of them.

We can learn something from you, and
hopefully you can learn something from us.

We really really appreciate you.

Jake: Yeah, I mean it sounds like, obviously
everyone is going through a lot.

It's kind of starting to wear on people
and be really burdensome.

But, you guys are here.

You guys are starting to make some
actual steps towards really starting to

handle that stress and dealing with that.

So I think that's really good.

Um, it's definitely a strength to sit here.

Um, trying to make a difference.

You're all very committed ladies.

So, help you destress in kind of moving
forward, so thank you for sharing.

Tori: So, like we said our common theme.

Or our, pretty much our purpose for the
group is dealing with our stress.

And we all have stress.

So, we talked about some like planner
organization and we talked about

thinking ahead, and we thought about, um,
the stigmas that've been put on you to

hold you back, but dealing with the
planning ahead.

So, a lot of it sounds like, that we have
in common is time management.

So, kind of, like you said.

The time that you have when going back
home, what am I going to do with this time?

So, um, that's really good for you sharing.

Thank you guys, really do appreciate it.

And I think too, Lea how she was sharing,
how she said she's had the time that she

has to think about those things.

That, um, it does take me three days now
to write a one page paper instead of the one day.

So, really thinking forward, and thinking
ahead, and how Allison has to plan for

'Oh, this is going to happen, or this is
going to come up, so I have to plan this.'

Like, you said, rescheduling and rescheduling
and it's, like-like Jake said,

it is wearing on everybody.

So, being here to deal with that
is awesome.

And I really think one thing that sounded
like a common thread was, you guys can

chime if you want, but it really sounded
like time management.

And figuring out not even, it's kind of
like, relax time management for you,

and a little bit more for you, and even
heavier for you.

So, like, actually thinking through like,
what am I going to do when I go home?

What are some things I can do to figure
out?

That's awesome that you guys are here
and sharing.

Lea: You see that bird?

It's like a really pretty bird.

Shannon: Wow.

Lea: And I like can't see it good
but like...

Shannon: The color reminds me of
Allison's shoes.

Allison: Dude aren't these like so cute.

Shannon: Yeah, they're so nice.

Allison: I got them from Nike the
other day.

Jake: That bird, I think it is actually
a blue jay.

Um, but, maybe we can, let's try and
redirect everything, let's try to stay

focused on our stress for awhile.

Like Tori said, time management is
and issue.

And I know for me, the biggest problem
with time management is getting distracted

so, let's just try to redirect
things, and kind of stay on topic.

So, like we were saying we're going to
talk about time management.

Tori: Does anybody want to, um, share
their testimony of anything,

of time management, or how something
that is a strength that you've done

that can possibly benefit any of us?

Shannon: Uh, I always, at the very
beginning of the semester.

I go through and I take my syllabus,
or my syllabi?

And I write like all of the papers and
assignments and tests into that.

And that way like, I can open my
planner and like look at the next week

and go, okay I have this paper and this
project due, so I need to like start

working on those.

And I feel like, yeah, especially for like
these two, they don't have, Allison's

schedule is like always crazy, like if she
had something like that she might be able

to just look at it and be like, okay so I
have to figure out where to fit these

assignments, and yeah.

Tori: Thanks for sharing, does anyone
else have any ideas?

Lea: Um, well, with my situation like,
I think it's beneficial.

Because I've always been a procrastinator,
so, it's teaching me about how to plan ahead

and how to make time for things that I
need to be doing.

So, I feel like when I get back to some
what normal, like, it's something that

I learned how to do, like I'll be able
to continue to do.

Help myself in the long run.

Tori: Sounds like a strength you may use
as well, that's really, really good.

Allison: Mine kind of goes off of what
Sharron said.

I guess, one of the things that I've
learned, knowing how hectic seasons

can be, um, to kind of, look ahead and see
what's on the syllabi and kind of,

start worrying about when it is due.

Like, am I going to be busy?

Slash how to separate that and get to
know in advance.

Just in case, y'know
things like this do happen.

Tori: Realizing that about yourself is
hard to admit, and we really appreciate it.

Thank you guys for all being here.

Turn to you about one more time so we
can, alright.

Jake: Uh, yeah, we can do that one
more time.

And so for this last-last one, let's
think of.

We, we all kind of talked about some
really good examples.

Um, but, let's just maybe come up with
one more idea that we have for

time management that we can apply
to this week.

Obviously our goal is to deal with stress
as well in our lives.

But we can kind of partialize that and
break it up a little bit, and just come

up with maybe like one easy step
this week that we can try and

decrease stress a little bit.

So, we'll just go around once.

And come up with a really simple
plans for this week.

I'll start the web.

Um, I plan just to decrease stress this
week a little bit.

Um, we're all at a Christian school, so for
me, I think spirituality is a really

important, and um, just kind of like
refocusing yourself, um,

praying a little bit.

I know that can always just helps me,
feel a little bit at ease.

So that's going to be my goal
for this week.

Tori: Um, I think one thing we all talked
about was working on our planners.

And kind of like Jake said too, um,
because I do schedule everything.

So I think, um, talking about my own, uh,
faith, I feel like I want to start taking

in more to what God has for my life.

And what steps I need to be taking.

So, making those decisions through
prayerful actions and that kind of stuff, so.

Allison: Um, I think this week, I'll try
and work a little bit harder on using

my time wisely, whenever I have like
free time to get something done,

I can start working on it in advance to
chill myself out a bit.

Lea: Um, I think this week I'm going
to try to be more positive.

And not be stuck on the things that
I can't do, but look at the things I have

overcome and that I am able to do.

Shannon: Um, this week, since it's
the weather's getting nicer,

um, I actually have a hike planned.

So, like the third hike of the month since the
weathers gotten nice.

And it really relaxes me.

I just love being in nature and seeing
God's creation and everything.

Tori: Well we all thank you for
being here and sharing and opening up.

It's hard to open up, and let's just
remember the confidentiality.

And also let's remember the skills that
we learned today to get us thorugh these

next few weeks.

Thank you all for sharing,
I'll see you again.

Jake: Excited to see you guys again.