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CRAZY GIRLFRIEND FROM HELL!!

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    -Hey, what's up, you guys?
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    So this week, I made a sequel to the Dawson's Creek spoof I did a couple months ago.
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    So if you haven't seen that one, click right here.
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    This video's pretty important to me 'cause it's about a feeling I'm sure a lot of you guys get.
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    The feeling about being unwanted, not good enough.
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    Or the feeling of having to change yourself for somebody else.
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    So hopefully you guys enjoy it and I will see you after the video.
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    -I don't wanna wait
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    For our lives to be over
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    I want to know right now what it will be
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    I don't wanna wait
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    For our lives to be over
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    Is it me or is this bitch
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    Creepy
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    (vocalizing)
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    -Man, what am I gonna do?
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    I broke up with Jen and now Joey hates me.
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    I wonder if Joey will ever realize the kiss I had with Jen was to say good-bye.
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    And now I wanna kiss Joey to say hello.
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    -Hello, Dawson.
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    (giggles)
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    -Why are you under my bed?
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    -Your dad put bars on the windows,
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    so I had to dig an underground tunnel that connects from my bedroom to yours.
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    -But you live ten miles away.
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    -Yeah, it took me three days.
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    I haven't slept yet so I'm starting to hallucinate.
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    -Really?
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    -Yeah, right now I'm hallucinating that I have a big rubber fist up your ass.
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    -(chuckles nervously)
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    Dawson, I wanna be with you forever.
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    I know it could ruin our friendship, but
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    I'm in love with you.
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    -Joey, I love you.
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    (romantic music plays)
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    (glass shatters)
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    -How could you cheat on me, you fucking whore?!
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    -Fuck you!
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    -I wish I could but your penis is too small!
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    -It's not my fault;
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    all the men in my family have small penises.
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    -Not all the men.
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    -Don't worry, Dawson honey.
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    Everything is fine.
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    -I hope you don't need your car 'cause I'm gonna blow it the fuck up!
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    -Oh, he's kidding.
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    You know your father,
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    big ol' prankster.
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    (explosion)
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    (chuckles nervously) Is he doing sound effects again?
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    I sure hope he doesn't do that gun one.
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    -I'm gonna fucking kill you, bitch!
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    (gunshots)
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    -Oh, there it is.
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    Bye, Dawson.
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    -Wow.
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    You're so lucky your family's normal.
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    -Oh, my God, I can't believe this.
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    My parents are getting a divorce.
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    Oh, there's so many emotions going through my head right now.
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    Joe, what's going through your head?
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    -(singing "Peanut Butter Jelly Time")
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    -Nothing.
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    -I'm sorry, Joey.
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    I can't be with you right now.
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    If my parents can't even be in love, then how can I?
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    Love doesn't exist!
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    (sobbing)
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    (iPhone ringing)
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    -Dawson?
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    -No, it's Pacey.
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    -(disappointingly) Aw.
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    -Thanks.
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    -Sorry, Pacey.
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    What's up?
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    -There's a little something I wanted to give you.
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    -Really?
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    -Yeah, but don't get excited.
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    I mean, It's kind of stupid you know,
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    but I gotta give it to you before this Friday.
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    -Okay, well I'll stop right by today and get it.
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    Oh, but first I have to go to Dawson's house.
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    I've been waiting for him to call me all day.
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    -You're gonna be waiting a long time, Joe.
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    -What do you mean?
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    -Dawson's only capable of loving himself, Joe.
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    When are you gonna see that?
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    -Well, what am I supposed to do?
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    Fall out of love with Dawson and in love with you?
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    -(chuckles nervously) Yeah, that's crazy.
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    -I mean, you're like the exact opposite of Dawson.
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    He's smart, sexy, caring, funny, intelligent, rich...
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    -I guess I...
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    -Responsible, tall, broad-shouldered, well-endowed, talented...
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    -I get it, Joe.
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    -And you're just...Pacey.
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    -Yeah.
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    I guess I am.
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    -So, what did you want to give me again?
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    -No, uh, it was nothing.
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    -All right, talk to you later, Pace.
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    -Yeah, later Joe.
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    -Hey bro, don't wait up for me.
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    Got a hot date tonight with...a girl.
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    -Oh, really?
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    How hot is she?
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    -(scoffs) She's so hot.
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    She has these big fake boobs with nipples
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    and long hair with big fat woman hips
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    (retches)
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    -Have fun on your man-date.
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    -Fuck you, Pacey!
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    -(sighs)
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    (Joey sighs)
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    -Aww, what's wrong, Joe?
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    -Are you eating ice cream with a chicken wing?
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    -Yeah.
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    Baby wants what the baby wants.
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    -You had the baby a year ago.
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    -Let's talk more about you.
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    -I don't know.
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    Dawson just doesn't seem to want me and I don't know why.
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    -Well, I'd start with shaving your legs.
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    -But you said my hairy legs were cute.
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    -Yeah, cute like a puppy, Joey.
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    But boys don't want to fuck puppies, do they? No.
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    They want to fuck pretty girls that aren't pregnant.
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    -I guess I could try a little harder with my looks.
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    -You know what you need?
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    -A psychiatric evaluation?
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    -Yeah, but you also need a makeover.
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    -But who would do it?
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    -Oh, I know just the girl.
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    (The Art of Losing by American Hi-Fi playing)
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    -Wha-oh, wha-oh
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    Wha-oh, wha-oh
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    Last call now I'm outta time
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    And I don't got no valentine
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    Singled out, now I stand alone
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    The underdog in a modern world
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    Suburbia is hot tonight
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    But nothing seems to feel alright
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    I don't want your sympathy
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    I just need a little therapy
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    At least that's what they say to me
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    Hey ho let's go
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    I'm gonna start a riot, you don't wanna fight it
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    One two, one two
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    Don't tell me what to do
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    I don't wanna be like you
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    Can't you see
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    I'm my own worst enemy
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    Knock me down I'll keep on moving
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    It's the art of losing
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    -How do I look?
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    -Girl, you look like a stupid trashy gutter-slut ho.
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    It's perfect!
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    -Wha-oa, wha-oh
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    Wha-oh, wha-oh
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    Wha-oa, wha-oh
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    Wha-oh, wha-oa
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    Two, three, four!
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    Hey ho let's go
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    I'm gonna start a riot, you don't wanna fight it
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    One two, one two
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    We're the kids, we're the kids
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    We're the kids in America
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    -Joey.
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    -Pacey?
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    -Wow, you look like a black person.
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    -Thanks.
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    -Joe, I know I'm not the perfect guy.
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    You know I know I'm not smart or rich
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    or really handsome but...
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    I love you.
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    And I would love you till the day I die.
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    And when I'm with you, I feel like I'm something,
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    not just... Pacey.
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    -Pacey, I...
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    Dawson?
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    -I'm an idiot.
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    I love you and I don't want to make you wait anymore.
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    (Last Song by DaveDays playing)
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    -Pacey...
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    you're an amazing friend but I love Dawson.
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    -Well, I hope you two are happy together.
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    And I hope you're happy, Dawson.
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    You got everything you ever wanted.
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    Might as well have this.
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    -Pacey, wait!
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    -He wants to go to prom with me?
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    I never even knew he was gay.
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    -Their life is so dramatic.
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    So the reason I wanted to make that video is I know I get that feeling sometimes
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    of I should change myself for somebody else or I'm not good enough.
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    Or that feeling of I need somebody else to complete me.
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    And that's just not true and it's not the way to live.
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    So the cheesy moral of the day is be you and say fuck you to anybody to doesn't like it.
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    So here's my question of the day:
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    Since summer's almost over,
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    what was one memorable experience you had?
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    Mine, as cheesy as it sounds, is probably just this.
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    This summer, I've been able to experiment and do longer videos with more characters and storylines
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    and you guys seem to be supporting it and not complaining,
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    so thank you.
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    And PS, the back of my hair isn't done
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    and I have a rash on my lips from all the lipstick.
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    'Cause I know a lot of the comments are gonna be like,
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    "You look like shit, Shane."
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    Yes, I agree and I know.
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    Oh, by the way, the song at the end is by fellow YouTuber DaveDays
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    and the link to the iTunes is in the crotch.
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    Music in my crotch
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    All right you guys, I gotta go.
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    See you later.
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    Ooh, double-handed, ooh!
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    Captioned by SpongeSebastian
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    -(chuckles nervously)
Title:
CRAZY GIRLFRIEND FROM HELL!!
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