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Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Witch Scene

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    [ Crowd shouting ]
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    >> We found a witch!
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    We found a witch!
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    A witch! We found a witch!
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    A witch!
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    >> We have found a witch.
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    May we burn her?
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    [ Crowd shouting ]
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    >> How do you know she is a witch?
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    >> She looks like one!
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    >> Send her forward.
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    >> I'm not a witch.
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    I'm not a witch.
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    >> But you are dressed as one.
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    >> They dressed me up like this.
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    And this isn't my nose.
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    It's a false one.
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    >> Well?
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    >> Well, we did do the nose.
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    >> The nose?
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    >> And the hat.
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    But she is a witch.
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    >> We burn her!
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    >> Did you dress her up like this?
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    >> No.
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    >> No.
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    >> No.
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    >> No.
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    >> No.
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    >> Yes.
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    >> Yes.
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    >> Yes.
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    >> Yeah, a bit.
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    A bit.
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    >> A bit. A bit.
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    >> She has got a wart.
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    >> What makes you think she is a witch?
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    >> Well, she turned me into a newt.
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    >> A newt?
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    >> I got better.
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    >> Burn her anyway!
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    >> Burn her!
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    >> Burn!
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    >> Burn her!
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    >> Burn her!
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    >> Quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet.
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    There are ways of telling
    whether she is a witch.
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    >> Are there?
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    Well, then tell us!
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    Tell us!
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    >> Do they hurt?
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    >> Tell me, what do you do with witches?
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    >> Burn them!
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    >> Burn!
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    >> And what do you burn apart from witches?
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    >> More witches!
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    >> Wood!
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    >> So why do witches burn?
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    >> Because they're made of wood.
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    >> Good!
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    >> Oh, yeah.
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    >> So how do we tell whether
    she is made of wood?
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    >> Build a bridge out of her.
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    >> Ah, but can you not also
    make bridges out of stone?
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    >> Oh, yeah.
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    >> Oh, yeah, true.
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    >> Does wood sink in water?
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    >> No, no.
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    >> No, it floats.
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    It floats!
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    >> Throw her into the pond!
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    >> What also floats in water?
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    >> Bread! Apples!
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    >> Very small rocks.
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    >> Cider! Grape gravy!
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    >> Cherries!
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    >> Mud!
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    >> Churches!
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    Churches!
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    >> Lead, lead!
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    >> A duck!
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    [ Crowd gasping ]
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    >> Exactly.
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    So, logically --
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    >> If she weighs the same as
    a duck, she's made of wood.
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    >> And therefore --
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    >> A witch!
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    >> A witch!
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    >> A witch!
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    [ Crowd shouting ]
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    >> Well done.
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    Very good.
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    We shall use my largest scales.
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    [ Crowd shouting ]
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    >> Come on, witch!
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    [ Crowd shouting ]
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    >> Right. Remove the supports!
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    >> A witch!
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    >> A witch!
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    >> It's a fair cop.
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    >> Burn her!
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    >> Burn her!
Title:
Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Witch Scene
Description:
more » « less
Video Language:
English (United States)
Duration:
03:26

English (United States) subtitles

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