Your Own Heart is Becoming the Beloved.mp4

Your Own Heart is Becoming the Beloved

26 January 2025
(with subtitles)

Q: I feel, sometimes you say,
we don't know how honest

or how open we are. And I feel it.

M: Okay, you say, 'Sometimes we
don't know how open we are'.

I'm a little bit with this.
But you're open enough to come here.

M: You know what shop this is?
Q: Yes.

M: What shop is it?
[laughter]

Q: The shop... Empty shop.

M: Empty shop. [laughs]
[laughter]

M: Very smart. Very good, okay.
Q: Maybe.

M: So you come for some emptiness.
[laughs]

[laughter] Okay.

Q: I just feel it's easy to miss this one.

M: Empty shop you cannot buy.
You can only Be.

There's nothing to purchase.

It's a good title 'Come to empty shop'.
[laughter]

Thieves in an empty house.

I want to use it.
I want you to use this,

why you use this example,
empty, empty shop.

M: What I feel is I cannot be,
like I cannot be 100 percent sure

if there is anything I'm not seeing.

M: Yes. I don't know if I've ever met anybody

a 100 percent sure of anything.

Except that you are.

Maybe this you can say
you're sure of that you exist,

and that you are experiencing or perceiving.

You agree or not? You know that you are?
Q: Yes.

M: And that you are experiencing?
Q: Yes.

M: So only let's work with this then

as everything else is traffic to this.

So everything comes is being perceived.

Comes and goes is being perceived.
Why perceiving is here?

Because you are here, you exist.
Now we must look.

Leave everything that can come and go.

Leave all of that now.
Only you and perceiving.

And of you and perceiving,

which is most true, if one has to go?

You say, 'I perceive,' I perceive.

So, I perceive means every experiencing,

whatever is happening is perceived
by this sense of 'I'.

M: Yes?
Q: Yes.

M: So you could even say,
'I am not perceiving'.

Which means I'm perceiving
that I'm not perceiving.

I'm going to keep it clean and simple.

Speaker: Guruji, how about that
you're perceiving emptiness?

M: Just when you say, 'What is more true?'

I don't remember exactly what you said,
like, 'You're perceiving?'

M: You know that you exist.
Q: Yes.

M: And that you are perceiving
or experiencing your perceiving

through the senses or the mind.

If some inner state or outer states,

that's being perceived by you.

So everything that comes, can go.

Mental states, emotional states,
friends can come,

people live, people stay, people die,

you feel sickness, you feel healthy,

you feel excitement, feel boredom,
feel tired, feel energy,

M: all this you perceive
and they come and go.

M: You who perceive them,

does that come and go?
Is it personal?

M: Also, personal states come.
Q: Yes.

M: So, that's also amongst
the field of perceivable, isn't it?

So even those things,
and the feeling of 'I',

and autobiography, your ideas about life,

all of those personal things,
they are also perceived. Okay.

M: And they can change shape,
and their change is also perceived.

So they cannot be that which perceives them.

M: That's true?
Q: Yes.

M: That which is perceiving, is it

material or immaterial? It's immaterial?

Q: It's not material.
M: It's not material.

Q: I cannot say what it is.
But I experience that ...

M: Who is speaking now?

M: It's not a trick question.
Q: I'm looking.

M: Obviously, the response is coming
so fluidly and so comfortably,

there's no strain to comment that
all these things are being perceived.

And that whatever is perceiving

itself cannot be perceived by quality.

Is it male or female?
Is it any of these things? No.

So, answers, responses are coming from there.

So even the responses are coming
and they are also perceived

pouring out of some, whatever,
something, or no thing.

Q: I don't know if it's pouring out
of something. It's perceived.

M: Okay, they are appearing also,
they appear.

So that which is perceiving them,
what is to be said of that?

Is it a structure or no structure?

Q: It's no structure.
M: Okay.

M: Is that significant for you?
Q: It is significant. It is.

M: Okay. Where does the problem start,
if one starts?

M: Is it a new skill that you developed?

And anyone can apply.
It's not particularly to you.

It's for anyone.
For everyone there's a sense of 'I', 'I Am',

but it's quickly given to the body,
'I am this person',

'I'm from Germany', 'I'm from this place',
'I'm a doctor',

'I'm this and that and that', is acquired,

so it takes on the sense
of being something identifiable.

But from your place,
that is also a construct that is seen.

The 'I' that is seeing them
is not those things.

You cannot say he's a doctor or a nurse,

or it's 1.7 cm,

170 cm, you know,
he doesn't have any of those things.

What is it like unto itself,

if it doesn't connect with points of perception

or things to perceive, by itself?

Q: It's not bothered by anything.

M: Yes. Okay, bring the things back.

M: Is it bothered by them?
Q: No.

Q: It is, if identity is missed.

M: If identity?
Q: Is not seen.

M: So, identity brings all the trouble then?

Q: Identifying brings all the trouble,
but for who?

M: Ahh. Are are you asking me about that?
[laughter]

M: You have to find out.
Right here is good.

M: The trouble cannot be for that

Q: which is not touched by it.
M: Yes.

M: Is 'that which is not touched by it'
an object of perception?

Q: No.
M: Where is it?

Q: It has no location.

M: It has no problem.
Q: It has no problem.

M: Let's go to where the problems are.

Why are you trying to solve a thing
that has no problem?

Q: 'Why try to solve a thing
that has no problem?'

M: Yes. It has no problem!
[laughter]

So where will we go now to find a problem?

It is good. It's fine!
We're looking and it's good.

I don't want to feel,
'Ah! Yes, end of thing, I go now.'

Because problems begin somewhere

and everyone is troubled by it.

Who is the everyone, you must also find.

It appears that you are no one,
and you are someone.

In this receding you come to,

'Ah, actually, I am here.
'I', but 'I' as what is here?'

Well, it's certainly not the person.

It's not male or female.
Or it's not Muslim or Christian.

It's something, something, nothing about it.

M: Is it a valuable discovery?
Q: Yes.

M: Yes. So that's not where problems are.
Q: No.

M: Okay. So where problems come

is in the place of identity ...
Q: Yes.

M: ...where I am someone.
Q: Yes.

M: Is there a way
that this sense of being someone,

how does that look now
from the place of your discovery?

'Fundamentally, I am not any of these things

that have been spoken of.'

How does the things, the world of things,
what is their value?

They don't impact upon this,

but somehow this must be
the cause of them playing,

and here the sense 'I' is also there,

and a very familiar feeling of 'I'.
But is it stable?

Is it always constant, this 'I',
now, the second 'I'?

Q: The moving 'I' is not constant.
M: Yes, yes.

M: So is it not the moving 'I'
who came to satsang?

Q: Yes.
M: Yes.

M: Because what?
It cannot control its world.

Q: And it's good it cannot,
because it wouldn't ...

it wouldn't find out what it really is
if it could control anything.

Like if there wouldn't be this trouble
and this pain in this identifying,

there would be no urge to ...

M: So it must have an urge.
It must have a drive.

What is the drive of this 'I'
which is the 'I'-person?

Because all the human beings,

we have this mask or sickness
of 'I'-me, 'I'-me.

What is the 'I'-me really in search of?

Everybody can take this.

The 'I'-me, is it quiet and content
and happily 'I'-me?

No. So what does it want?

Speaker: Probably, to be free of suffering.

M: It's to be free of suffering.

Only you? Only you? Oh, okay, okay.
To be free of suffering.

M: What is it suffering from?
Group: It's projection.

M: It's projection. It's projection.
Da da da ...

We're in common ground now.
It's having some suffering.

Q: But I'm not sure that this 'I',

like this identified one
wants to be at peace.

M: Wants to be?
Q: At peace.

M: Doesn't want to be at peace?
Q: I'm not sure about that.

M: You speaking now are not that.

M: Is that what you're saying?
Q: Not being ...?

M: Not the person, you're not sure
the person self is really ... da da da.

Who is speaking now?
Just to be clear and look.

You're looking from where?

From an identified place
or a not identified place?

There is a feeling 'I Am',
I call it consciousness,

that 'I Am'-ness without strong identification

with the personal sense, that is,

let me call it the Brahman for the moment,

only because I can I have
another word called Parabrahman.

Could you understand? All right.
So it is the consciousness.

It is the guru state of being,

which is there for all, for everybody.

It is that in which the world of person
and its world

and all of this is seen from here,

but is not disturbed by that.

And from this place, 'I Am' has the power,

by looking into the realm
of the 'I'-me and the 'I'-person,

imparts some grace to it.
As in the form of the 'I'-person ...

Are we following? It's good?
In the form of the 'I'-person

it is still consciousness,
it's a mode of consciousness.

And that sense of being,
if you want to call it a soul ...

Are we alright for the moment?
Just working words.

The soul, it has different characteristics.

In India, they speak of the different gunas,

which are kind of energetic qualities

that affect the soul, some soul tendency.

Q: Sorry, but the soul
you call the person now? Or what?

M: Yes. Let me just continue
and then you'll see.

M: So then, the sense of being somebody,

an entity with the characteristic,
with a history,

with association, with parents, with family,

with all of these things, self description,

that makes you uniquely you.

At least, for the time being

because also you keep changing
what you say about yourself.

If you keep on writing an autobiography
over a period of 20 years,

it's going to keep changing.
So the person is not stable.

Whereas the 'I Am', which generates

the projection of the mind and person ...

I'm going to call person and mind similar,
for the moment.

If you want me to cover because
it's good if you understand this thing,

then it becomes more clear, no?

So the personal state of consciousness

is where all the conflicts can come,
desire can come.

Pain, life, death, you, me,
this, that, up, down, heaven, hell,

all these things are in there for the person.

It's never a stable environment.

And even unto itself,
with nothing to interfere,

it interferes with itself.

It also suffers from its own, 'I'm lonely,

I don't know what I'm going to do.'
So it's never without trouble.

But as it's also on a journey
of this world, as we know it,

each one is on a journey of Self-discovery.

It may not be conscious of it like that.

For a while our urge for discovering things
can be merely phenomenal.

Like, I want to be a lawyer or a doctor,
to be famous,

I want to be a singer,
I want to be something,

and all this produces fruit.
It's a power, it produces fruit.

You may indeed become famous or rich,
all these kinds of things.

But we are discovering,
even those who became very rich,

at some point they're not satisfied
with being rich

as the whole system is built like that.

You can never be really satisfied,

really genuinely satisfied, until you're home.

And 'home' means to awaken
to your True nature,

which is not somewhere else,
not over there,

it's like peeling away, no?

So my way of looking at it is that

the person is the one
who takes the journey of life.

And I would not say...

In Advaita thought the person doesn't exist,

the mind doesn't exist, the world doesn't exist,
and ultimately it is true,

but you must understand
in what light it is true.

Because when you say to beings
who have a strong idea of self

and who have a philosophy,
have relief, have belief, all these things,

'It's not true, it doesn't exist',

it's very hurtful,
'You don't know what you're saying!'

Some can adopt that thing
and indeed learn and take that attitude,

but inside it's not true.
Something has to be clear.

So the sense of being someone,
it is consciousness.

When you say 'I', when you feel 'I',

because nobody gave you 'I'.
Everything else you receive.

Nobody, not your parents didn't say,
'I'm going to name you "I".'

And yet all the beings
have this intuitive self-reference of 'I'.

Not the English version.

So even mosquitoes have a feeling of 'I'.

'I' points to existence, 'I'-exist.
That's what it really means.

But 'I'-person very rarely touchs on this root

that it means existence
and that it is conscious.

It doesn't even know
that it cannot die as consciousness.

Consciousness cannot die.

But its belief 'I am the body' can die.

But doesn't mean It dies.
The body will die.

But what you 'are' cannot die,

it will just transfer for more experiencing

if there's more things to experience.

So this urge inside
with different beings in different bodies,

like identities in different bodies,
are on a journey,

depending upon your maturity.

Some people only want to be famous,

or, 'I want 5 children,
I want a beautiful house,

I want enough money to do what I want'.

Those desires are permitted
by Parabrahman, by Paramatman.

That life gives life in this.

All desires can be had, good and bad.

And it will help you to fulfil your desires.

Even a thief,
He wants you to be a better thief.

It gives the power
to learn to be a better thief!

Because God has a use for you
as a great thief. [laughter]

Because He is going to perfect the other ones,

who may be somewhere more evolved
with your thievery.

They need this thievery
to move on even more.

The whole thing is beautifully managed
[laughter]

by Paramatman taking care of all things.

Not one thing goes missing.
Not only for human beings,

the ant kingdom, the bee kingdom,

the horse and every kingdom,
He is the God of all of them.

They have their rules.
They have their philosophies.

They have their ways.
They have their likes and dislikes.

They have their urges and their suffering.

Everything is evolving somehow.

Let's stick to our world for a little bit. Okay?

So in our world, this urge is there,

and for a while, depending upon ...

because not all the beings
are at the same level of maturity.

He made it like that. He didn't say,
all who are mature go here

and all of you mature [go here.]
No, He mixes up. And we fight.

But we need it also.

I'm saying this so that
you don't complain about your life.

Everything that's sent to you,
if you take it only as,

'This thing happened to me,
you didn't do anything about it.'

Actually, you earned it.

You have to make use of the experience of it

to transcend in yourself.

As you transcend in yourself

your light becomes light for others also.

But don't think like that, 'I, my light ...'
[laughter]

You understand?

If you have this attitude, okay.

But somehow this is needed,
it's pointing out something.

Rather than 'Oh, they are attacking me ...'

The self as a person is also very myopic

and very self protecting.

That's why he doesn't grow so quick
because it feels vulnerable.

And when you're vulnerable it locks in

and 'pew pew'. [shoots] It locks in.

When you see these things, you realise,
'But a deeper consciousness ...'

She's just been speaking
from this deeper consciousness,

in which the sense of the person and its world

are seen with more detachment.

You say, 'But I speak with you ...
But from here, I'm actually just fine'.

What do you want?
What do you need?

What is your problem?
'Actually, here, nothing actually'.

For problem, I have to go back over there.

And over there is in the state of the person

and my neighbours and my relationship
and things,

and I get enough money and ...
This is the woes of the person.

They are here to make you grow, to help you.

When you see and understand this a little bit,

you don't get angry, 'Oh, they are the cause.'
But you use it.

But when you come here,
I want to fast forward! Which you can.

You can go tick tock, tick tock.

Or you can somehow come into big seeing.

You can travel in footsteps
or you can travel by galaxies.

So here, I feel, and I assume,
you may correct me,

that when you come here,
there is within the capacity

to 'phoo' flower into higher states.

When you realise,
'I'm kind of wasting my time

in the person quite a lot.

Because now I'm aware of myself
in consciousness, as consciousness'.

And what happens by that?

Well, as you learn to observe,
as I've shown,

learn to observe things more,
as we're too identified,

if you identify you slow down,
and what happens?

You start to accumulate concepts.

And the more concepts you accumulate,

the more opaque you become,
the more solid, the more rigid.

If you know people
who have a pile of concepts,

their concepts and your concepts
can't dance. 'No, no, whoa.'

Even family can be like this.

So what you will learn is,
by observing with detachment,

learning to look and see
if you can catch this seeing

where even your person,

your person, the subject
of all your world, is itself seen.

When you can see, you can say, 'Whoa!'

It's not just a world, but the personal self

that has the reflection of that world.

They are, when I say two sides of one coin,
they go together.

Your mistake has been,
you're identifying yourself and feeling,

'But it's the world,
everything is wrong there. It's not me.'

What makes you do that is because

also your person goes by the title of 'I'.

And 'I' means God. You understand?

Your 'I' is consciousness,
which is Godly principle.

Then you understand this 'I', the 'I'-me,

and the 'I'-I, or the 'I'-am',
you see the difference.

When we go into 'I'-me,
all your life struggle, 'This I can't get',

'this one is sick and ...'
it is strong, it is strong.

It didn't have its origin in one body life-form.

It's been going on for a long time.

But gradually it's growing through,
what I call, the guna field.

Gunas mean some energy
which is tamasic guna.

Means that when the entity of self
is more resistant

and more sort of easily troubled

and full of identity and resistance,

that's called tamasic guna, tama guna.

Then the energy,
the entity energy can also have

something you can call raja guna,

means the soul is more energetic,
it's full of desire,

it wants to do things, it's adventurous,
it has many ideas.

And then, also, another guna called sattva guna.

Sattva guna is more pure,

meaning when the energy field
is more attracted to spirit;

it wants to evolve in consciousness,
it wants to realise.

These gunas are playing
within the beingness.

Some gunas have more ascendance,
strongerer in one.

Another stronger in another one. Like this.

So all of you, I say,

you must be exhibiting
some stronger sattva guna.

But you have raja guna in there
pulling at your tail. [laughter]

And sometimes tamas guna, 'Uhh, tsk.'

They're all part of it.
[laughter]

It's a kind of fun way of looking, no?

It's not that funny, actually. [laughs]

But we understand a little bit.

So, somehow to come to satsang

without anyone pressuring you to do that

means your soul is attracted a bit towards it.

And the more you find out,
and not just intellectually,

but begin to experience your understanding,
experiential understanding,

you're encouraged within yourself,
you're falling in love.

If you fall in love with someone
and really falling in love deeply,

you will require nobody to remind you

to remember your beloved.

The urge comes from inside, it's pulling,

always, whatever you're doing you're thinking ...
[laughter]

So your own self, your own heart
is becoming the beloved

of your sense of your person.

It's in the sattva guna,
it's drawing more and more.

After sattva guna what happens?

They call one state turiya,
which means becoming clean,

functioning more from consciousness.

The lower states don't trouble you,
they don't trouble.

Identity doesn't trouble you.
At some point it won't trouble you.

People call you, 'So you're Paulette?'

'Yes, it's my name'. You still use the name.

When you wake up fully into yourself,
you will not have to change name.

You don't have to call yourself Parabrahman,

or some wonderful name.

You can still use your name.

But you are not this name.

You see, it's like, somehow,
something's unfolding,

and concepts don't stick with you.

The more they don't stick with you,
they're not so important.

Then all is available for you.

You can listen without having to decide,

'I believe in this. What do you believe?
What is your standpoint?'

It doesn't matter, actually,
as you're in the All-ness of your being.

Is it okay I'm talking like this?
Let's clear the field. Okay.

We're sweeping the house, so you understand.

When you say, 'I don't know why
I keep getting these things',

that relationship building is sticky.

I don't say, I'll show you how
to solve that problem, that problem.

I say learn something,

learn to observe your sense of identity
and its likes and dislikes,

but with some distance learn.
You can see.

And learn to detach.

And what did I say?
Should I say 99.9 percent

of the things in the world
does not trouble you?

Means you can walk anywhere
in the world and things don't go ...

You can move. Natural detachment.

But the 0.1 [laughter]
of the things that matter.

'Oh, yeah, but no, no, I don't like pink.

Mmm-mmm. Not me. Mmm-mmm.
I don't like this.

Peacock feathers,
oh, keep it away from me!'

All this kind of stuff keeps you tied up
into the shape of the person.

You feel proud, 'I'm this kind of person.
I'm not that kind of person'.

You don't realise how we cheat

and shrink from your beauty.

All of this is you!

You will never learn and really ...

Love everyone!
Even those not yet born, you love.

'Oh, no, but I've never seen them.
Oh, I didn't know.' No, no.

Understand? Because it's your nature.

It's not just your choice.

And so I say, what is the simple thing?

Learn to observe more and more

with detachment, learn to see.

The mind, the maya-mind says,
'That's wasting time,

I don't get anything from doing that.

I fall asleep whenever I try to look
without attachment, I fall asleep.

Even here when we do
the 'Just Be' exercise ...'

Ding dong! I say like this ...
[mimics falling asleep] [laughter]

Just woke up!
[laughter]

What is this?
It is a kind of psychic resistance, it's in us.

Something that is trying to resist

from coming into the fullness of yourself.

It's a force, this maya force
is a little resistance.

But don't be worried. It will soon change.

The minute you begin to feel the darshan

of your own heart, [deep breath]
so much encouragement.

But you must earn it.

And what the teacher will do is
teach this thing,

but you have to be on board.

You have to be on board.
You have to be there.

Because even greatest guru cannot help you
if your heart's not on board.

You must work for it.
And look what it is also.

It's very mystical. But it's not difficult.

The path has been made so clean.

The higher you go, the purer the climate,

the simpler the advice, if you can take,

but the stronger the resistance.

Because your earth self 'arrgh' is fighting.

It's lazy. 'Argh.' It's like this.
You have to watch him.

You have to learn to observe this, okay,
and press on.

And what you have,
you may say at some point,

'I have nothing to encourage me
because my mind is just killing me.'

And some people say,
'But Guruji told you to do.'

'Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, I do.'

Why? Because you have faith

and faith enough to give you
some strength, some courage.

Then also life, the source, empowers you,

because you chose,
when you've chosen many things,

you can keep on choosing
many things in life,

but you're choosing Supreme,

you're choosing God-consciousness,
you're choosing Self.

When I speak like this,
I get touched, you see?

If you choose This,

then you are really making use
of this life-form.

Because you can choose many things
and they will delay you.

And it's okay. You like this thing. You like that.

It's freedom. It's okay, it's okay.

But if you have in your heart this choice,

then you have taken the highest choice.

Then you will be tested
and you must pass this test.

And then all the grace of Parabrahman
comes for you.

If you say, 'I went around the corner,

somebody went, 'Boo!'
I don't want to go there',

then you come, 'Guruji what is the highest?'

I said, You didn't even pass the lowest!

[laughter]

M: You want the highest.

I say, a little person comes,
says, 'Look at you. Oh, no, no'.

And you're ... [imitates crying]

I say these small things,
how are you going to overcome?

By looking and learning to let the fear ...
Don't try to stop the feelings.

Let them come. Don't try and stop them.

What you need is not to stop them,
but to have clear seeing of them.

Just see that it's the life force.

The force of habit is playing
and this is its domain,

this is its sensors, [touches the body]

it's playing in here
and the mind is playing.

And you say, 'But how I can see this?

How come I'm seeing this?'

Gradually, you stay in your satsang,
you listen, you start to find,

'Where there didn't seem to be a way,
there is a way!'

Which way is it?
It's here, it's here, it's here. [points to heart]

So, you just continue. Don't try ...

If someone gets a bit hurt,
you go try something else,

you try something else and try.

No, no. You must have some faith.

If you don't have faith,
you can pray, ask Baba,

'Oh, Guruji, please,
I want to believe, I trust,

but I'm weak, please help me.'
God's help comes.

Help comes. Be humble.

As you're growing, kindness is coming.
Kindness is coming.

Maybe you didn't realise
how unkind your behaviour is.

Selfishness is going.
Empathy is coming.

Spaciousness is coming.

Heaviness is leaving.

Unexpected boon and grace is flowing,

seemingly undeserved, it's coming.

Then, things that you feel,

'But how did this come?' are coming.

Then when you start to feel great,
something goes, 'Ehh! Uhh!'

That is coming also.
Everything is coming. [laughter]

You're going to give up.
Like this it comes.

I have a tremendous...
I have in my heart I found

the love for all the beings is there.

I didn't work at it.

You just stay open,
you come to your natural love,

your natural state is there.

But the service to sangha,
who, if I am right about it,

are those I perceive to be
on a higher journey of awakening,

then this body, this life force
is dedicated to that.

It's dedicated to that.

You will have troubles

but you will overcome them.

And the highest, clearest power
in the universe has called you,

[silence]

and supports your seeing.

Stop thinking of yourself
as some petty little thing.

But don't think of yourself
as a great thing also. [laughter]

Yeah.

And the one thing that will be repeated:
Don't give up.

Keep looking and clarify
your misunderstanding of you.

Someone says, 'But I'm doing like this.'
I say no, no.

What I show, come now, you do. Look.
Da da da da. Come. [exhales]

Don't put this in your pocket.

Put it in your heart and stay with it
and increase in it.

And so your autobiography
that you write in your person,

that will disappear.

Group: Thank you.
M: Thank you.

M: What is happening also, is that,

I'm finding more the ones,
I just find them,

we stay together, we look,
and quickly from here, [indicates mind noise]

just go down. [more silent]

You want to come in with me,
we go down. Stay.

And all this mind stuff starts to

just dry up very naturally. Just simple.

I told you from the beginning it is simple,

because you don't have to create your Self.

You can create a false self.

But your True Self you can only discover.

When you discover t,
the discoverer merges in it also.

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