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The self-inquiry intensives at
the samadhi center
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are a rigorous form of Sadhana
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or spiritual practice
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designed to create conditions
of ‘no escape’
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for the egoic mind, to bring about
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the possibility of Samadhi and Awakening
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to your true nature.
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Self-inquiry can be done individually
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and when it's done on your own
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it's meditation
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self-inquiry can be done with a partner
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in what we call dyads
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or it can be done with a group where
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the entire group is focused on one person
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who is doing the inquiry.
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The main technique used during the
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self-inquiry retreat is the dyad.
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The Retreat format involves working from
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early morning 6 a.m until 11 pm at night.
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The participants are encouraged to enter
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into a period of continuous practice,
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continuously inquiring into Who We Are.
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For this period of time all distractions
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are set aside.
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There are no devices, phones, books
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or anything to engage
the conditioned mind.
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During the break periods, or while eating,
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one continues to inquire.
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This continuous practice creates a
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strong inner pressure or inner energy.
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Energy is diverted from the old condition
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patterns and starts to build.
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A sort of alchemy starts to happen.
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Awakening is an energetic event.
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There is a flip from the conditioned ‘I’,
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the sense that you are this character,
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to the true self, to the unlimited ‘I’.
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The self-inquiry Intensive is the most
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direct way to bring about Awakening
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that I know of.
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By Awakening, I mean realizing
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the true Self beyond name and form.
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It's called 'Kensho' in Zen.
The word kensho
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means 'seeing essence',
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in Mahayana Buddhism it is
'Prajna Paramita',
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the highest wisdom, the absolute
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wisdom of our true nature.
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In Western Traditions, the terms 'Gnosis'
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or 'Apophaticism' refer to the realization
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of our true or divine nature.
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For this period of time, we turn
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attention away from thoughts and
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sensations away from the
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outer world of form,
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towards the self, continuously.
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If we do this practice continuously,
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eventually we will awaken from
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identification with the false self,
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to our true nature.
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It's extremely simple but it's not easy,
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because the ego construct which is made
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up of samskaras or condition patterns,
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will generate hindrances, just
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as it does in meditation. The whirlpool
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of the mind may generate thoughts,
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we may experience egoic preferences,
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the mind may focus on comfort
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or discomfort,
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it may become tired,
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it may get confused or disoriented.
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It may find the whole process intolerable
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and want to give up.
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It HAS to give up.
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The conditioned ‘I’ may think it is
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already awake, we have to humble the
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conditioned mind.
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It is said that one must want to awaken,
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like a person with their hair on fire
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wants a pond to jump into.
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We must proceed with a beginner's mind,
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a not knowing mind, a humble mind,
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a mind that is open,
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mirror-like, alive.
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For this process we enter into the cloud
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of unknowing, we let go of control and
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connect to a sense of curiosity
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and investigation.
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During this process, one remains
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equanimous with whatever comes up within
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the mind and senses, having a complete
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experience of everything arising in the
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present moment.
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We observe everything that is arising,
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not pushing anything away and yet not
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getting identified with anything.
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We come to the true self by realizing
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all that we are not.
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We make the unconscious patterns that
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are in play within the self-structure,
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conscious.
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When we inquire into who we are, first,
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everything that is the false self will
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come to the forefront.
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All of our thoughts and blocks, repressed
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emotions, imprints, and samskaras that are
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part of the self-structure, will start to
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come to the surface.
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By not reacting,
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by having a complete experience,
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a purification starts to happen within the
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self-structure.
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This practice that leads to samadhi,
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is cultivating single pointed focus.
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You become continuously present,
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observing what is,
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allowing what is, always becoming aware
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of subtler and subtler aspects of what is.
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Gaining sensory clarity,
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allowing the mind to be open,
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responsive, without analyzing.
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When self-inquiry is done with a partner
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it can be particularly potent.
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One can't drift off into the mind,
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you're accountable,
it's like meditating with
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a partner. You have to be present because
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you're being witnessed, you're staring
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into someone else's eyes,
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you can’t wander away.
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At these retreats we begin the
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self-inquiry when we're in
the waking state,
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but the practice can carry over into
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dreaming and even deep sleep states.
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Here I'm going to describe
the dyad technique.
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In this practice, one person is witness,
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and the other engages in deep
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inner investigation,
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inquiring into their true nature.
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First, decide who will be the witness
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and who will start doing inquiry.
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You will switch roles back and forth
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all day long.
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If you're doing this with a large group,
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you will switch partners,
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roughly every 40 minutes.
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Sit across from your partner
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looking into their eyes.
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Maintain eye contact in silence.
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As an introductory exercise, just look
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into each other's eyes for about
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three or four minutes.
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Allow yourself to see this being
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across from you.
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Allow yourself to be seen.
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The witness will connect to their
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intention, to know who this being is,
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that is in front of them.
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The witness will say to their partner
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‘tell me who you are’.
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The imperative should come from a place
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of sincere wanting to know.
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For the one doing the inquiry,
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simply allow yourself to be open,
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to receive the imperative.
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Inquire into who you are,
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earnestly, sincerely, penetratingly.
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Notice how the imperative lands within
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the self-structure.
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There may be an impulse to close the eyes,
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or the eyes may remain open, simply let
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it land in the deepest
part of your being.
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Take a moment or several moments to
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observe the mind, body, the energy,
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any phenomena that arises
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within the self-structure.
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Then simply convey to your partner what
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has arisen as a result of
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doing this inquiry.
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What's coming up in the present moment,
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what's the most REAL thing
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happening in this moment.
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If there are thoughts or doubts
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or if there's a feeling that nothing is
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happening, just observe the most real
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thing about this moment.
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Connect with your I AM-NESS.
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Inquire into who you are by being aware
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of this I am-ness, the
sense of existence.
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Don't think that there is a right
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or wrong answer,
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we're not looking for an answer on the
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level of the mind. Don't think that you
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have to please someone with your answer,
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be free, playful.
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You don't have to search for an answer,
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be free in the not knowing.
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A Bible passage comes to mind unless, you
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become like little children you will
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never enter the Kingdom of Heaven,
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Jesus said.
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There was a sense of ‘I’ that you had when
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you were a little kid, the sense of YOU,
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the unconditioned you,
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it was there when you were a teenager,
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it's there at every point in one's life.
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Feel that sense of ‘I’ right now,
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that sense of I am.
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What is that sense of I am?
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I t has no quality, it doesn't change.
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The body changes, the mind changes,
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the phenomena of life changes.
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Sensations change,
but that sense of ‘I am’
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does not change, it has no location.
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‘Tell me who you are’
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it is not a question, it is an imperative.
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One trap people fall into is that they
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mistake it for a question.
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It is not about getting the right answer
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with words, it's about
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knowing who is answering.
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WHO is responding.
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The practice is to report any phenomena
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that arises within the self-structure
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to your partner. Explaining as clearly
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and as truthfully as you can.
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There are some rules to this game:
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Don't refer to your partner as ‘you’ and
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don't refer to anything that your
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partner may have said in a previous dyad.
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This is not a conversation.
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In this practice, we also eliminate words
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like ‘I’, ‘mine’ or ‘myself’.
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When we use the word ‘I’ we habitually
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refer to the ‘false I’, the condition self
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so we want to communicate
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whatever comes up without
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using this dualistic language.
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If you know that you are referring to
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the ‘false I’ then don't use the word ‘I’
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instead of saying I am feeling tired
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or I am feeling angry, say there is a
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feeling of tiredness arising,
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or there is a sense of anger within the
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self-structure.
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Is it true that I am tired?
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Is it the body that is tired?
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Am I the body, or am I aware of the body?
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You can start with what is obvious,
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but don't miss the subtle.
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Go into the feeling,
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the sensory layer, the somatic field.
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If a feeling comes up, where does it live
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in the body? How does it move? How does it
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change through time?
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If there's sadness or anger, what
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do those feel like? Notice any energetic
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contraction, any holding or resistance
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within the body, having
a complete experience
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of everything arising in the
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present moment.
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During this process, the witness holds
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the container of Silence.
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Witnessing without reaction,
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without encouragement, the witness
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maintains a neutral face and lets go of
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any body language.
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When witnessing, you disappear,
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there's only your partner.
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Make sure that you're understanding
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your partner,
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following what is being said.
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Don't zone out or stare
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through your partner.
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If something is said that you don't
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understand, you can say ‘clarify that’.
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This is the only thing the
witness can say.
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As a witness you may be feeling what
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the other person is feeling,
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you may even synch breaths and movements.
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This happens spontaneously, you don't
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have to try to do anything.
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It’s possible for the witness to enter a
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samadhi state where there's no
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separation from the one being witnessed.
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Don't sympathize with the partner.
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Don't play into their drama.
Be totally neutral.
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This neutrality allows the freedom of
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expression to unfold. You are a mirror.
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A mirror has no opinion,
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judgment or preference.
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At the retreat, the facilitators will
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come around and use various tools and
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their own intuition, to point
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participants beyond their conditioned
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minds, towards a direct experience
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of their true nature.
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The dyad facilitator may come and
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observe, and may ask you questions.
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If this happens, stay connected with
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your partner's eyes,
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don't turn and look at the facilitator,
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simply answer the question but stay
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connected to your partner.
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Stay awake in the ‘not knowing’.
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Primordial Awareness is inseparable from
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Stillness and Presence.
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It is a stillness and presence beyond
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the movement and stillness of
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the limited mind.
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It is closer than the you that
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you think you are.
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It is neither near nor far,
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because these are mere concepts.
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Don't try to manufacture some answer
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with the mind or philosophize about
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who you are. Let the thoughts
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and experiences come up, observe them and
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report them, but don't get caught in their
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content. We want to objectively report
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what is coming up within
the self-structure.
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We want to express freely in an
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inhibited spontaneous way.
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Don't overthink it.
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This process is incredibly simple,
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you don't have to do anything other than
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observe and report.
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It is the condition mind responding,
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trying to answer.
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But who are you?
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There is nothing to attain, there is only
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the dropping of the false identification
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and realizing the truth of the ‘true I’
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Primordial Awareness is so simple and
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obvious, that the mind misses it.
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It is always the conditioned mind
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that looks, that moves.
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The conditioned mind is nothing but
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movement, looking here and there.
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If you give up that movement, then
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what remains, who is aware,
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ever present in the seeing.
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The Zen master Dogen said:
‘To realize your
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true nature, is to realize the self.
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To realize the self is to
forget the self.
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To forget the self is to be actualized
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by myriad things.
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To be actualized by myriad things,
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your mind and body as well as the mind
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and body of others drops off.
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When mind and body drop off,
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there is only direct experience
of what is.
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Samadhi is the dissolving of the illusion
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between observer and observed
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experience and experiencer.