The virginity fraud

The hymen is still the most misunderstood part of the female body. Nina Dølvik Brochmann and Ellen Støkken Dahl share their mission to empower young people through better sex education, debunking the popular (and harmful) myths we're told about female virginity and the hymen.

Nina Dølvik Brochmann:
We grew up believing

that the hymen is a proof of virginity.

But it turns out, we were wrong.

What we discovered

is that the popular story we're told
about female virginity

is based on two anatomical myths.

The truth has been known
in medical communities for over 100 years,

yet somehow these two myths
continue to make life difficult

for women around the world.

Ellen Støkken Dahl:
The first myth is about blood.

It tells us that the hymen
breaks and bleeds

the first time a woman has vaginal sex.

In other words, if there is no blood
on the sheets afterwards,

then the woman was simply not a virgin.

The second myth is a logical
consequence of the first.

Since the hymen is thought
to break and bleed,

people also believe
that it actually disappears

or is in some way radically altered
during a woman's first intercourse.

If that were true,

one would easily be able to determine
if a woman is a virgin or not

by examining her genitals,

by doing a virginity check.

NDB: So that's our two myths:

virgins bleed,

and hymens are lost forever.

Now, this may sound
like a minor issue to you.

Why should you care

about an obscure little skin fold
on the female body?

But the truth is,
this is about so much more

than an anatomical misunderstanding.

The myths about the hymen
have lived on for centuries

because they have cultural significance.

They have been used as a powerful tool

in the effort to control women's sexuality

in about every culture,
religion and historical decade.

Women are still mistrusted,

shamed,

harmed

and, in the worst cases,
subjected to honor killings

if they don't bleed
on their wedding night.

Other women are forced
through degrading virginity checks,

simply to obtain a job,

to save their reputation

or to get married.

ESD: Like in Indonesia,

where women are systematically examined
to enter military service.

After the Egyptian uprisings in 2011,

a group of female protesters were forced
to undergo virginity checks

by their military.

In Oslo, doctors are examining
the hymens of young girls

to reassure parents
that their children are not ruined.

And sadly, the list goes on.

Women are so afraid not to live up to
the myths about the hymen

that they choose to use
different virginity quick fixes

to assure a bleeding.

That could be plastic surgery,

known as "revirgination,"

it could be vials of blood
poured on the sheets after sex

or fake hymens bought online,

complete with theater blood

and a promise to "kiss your deep,
dark secret goodbye."

NDB: By telling girls
that no deed can be kept secret,

that their bodies
will reveal them no matter what,

we have endowed them with fear.

Girls are afraid of ruining themselves,

either through sport,

play,

tampon use

or a sexual activity.

We have curtailed their opportunities
and their freedoms.

It's time we put an end
to the virginity fraud.

It's time we break the myths
about the hymen

once and for all.

ESD: We are medical students,

sexual health workers

and the authors
of "The Wonder Down Under."

(Laughter)

That's a popular science book
about the female genitals.

And in our experience,
people seem to believe

that the hymen is some kind of a seal
covering the vaginal opening.

In Norwegian, it is even called
"the virgin membrane."

And with this,
we picture something fragile,

something easily destructible,

something you can rip through,

perhaps like a sheet of plastic wrapping.

You may have wondered
why we brought a hula hoop onstage today.

We'll show you.

(Laughter)

Now, it is very hard to hide

that something has happened
to this hoop, right?

It is different
before and after I punched it.

The seal is broken,

and unless we change the plastic,

it won't get back to its intact state.

So if we wanted to do a virginity check
on this hoop right here,

right now,

that would be very easy.

It's easy to say that this hoop
is not a virgin anymore.

(Laughter)

NDB: But the hymen
is nothing like a piece of plastic

you can wrap around your food,

or a seal.

In fact ...

it's more like this --

a scrunchie or a rubber band.

The hymen is a rim of tissue
at the outer opening of the vagina.

And usually, it has a doughnut
or a half-moon shape

with a large, central hole.

But this varies a lot,

and sometimes hymens can have fringes,

it can have several holes,

or it can consist of lobes.

In other words, hymens
naturally vary a lot in looks,

and that is what makes it so hard
to do a virginity check.

ESD: Now that we know a bit more
about the hymen's anatomy,

it's time to get back to our two myths:

virgins bleed,

hymens are lost forever.

But the hymen doesn't
have to break at all.

The hymen is like a scrunchie
in function as well as in looks.

And you can stretch a scrunchie, right?

(Laughter)

You can stretch a hymen, too.

In fact, it's very elastic.

And for a lot of women,

the hymen will be elastic enough
to handle a vaginal intercourse

without sustaining any damage.

For other women, the hymen may tear a bit
to make room for the penis,

but that won't make it disappear.

But it may look
a bit different from before.

It naturally follows
that you can't examine the hymen

to check for virginity status.

This was noted over 100 years ago in 1906

by the Norwegian doctor Marie Jeancet.

She examined a middle-aged sex worker

and concluded that her genitalia
were reminiscent of a teenage virgin.

But that makes sense, right?

Because if her hymen
was never damaged during sex,

then what were we expecting to see?

ESD: Since hymens come
in every shape and form,

it is difficult to know

if a dent or a fold in it is there
because of previous damage

or if it's just a normal
anatomical variant.

The absurdity of virgin testing

is illustrated in a study
done on 36 pregnant teenagers.

When doctors examined their hymens,

they could only find
clear signs of penetration

in two out of the 36 girls.

So unless you believe
in 34 cases of virgin births --

(Laughter)

we must all agree

that also our second myth
has taken a vital blow.

You simply cannot look a woman
between her legs

and read her sexual story.

NDB: Like most myths,
the myths about the hymen are untrue.

There is no virgin seal
that magically disappears after sex,

and half of virgins
can easily have sex without bleeding.

We wish we could say
that by removing these myths,

everything would be OK,

that shame, harm and honor killings
would all just disappear.

But of course, it's not that simple.

Sexual oppression of women
comes from something much deeper

than a simple anatomical misunderstanding
about the properties of the hymen.

It's a question of cultural and religious
control of women's sexuality.

And that is much harder to change.

But we must try.

ESD: As medical professionals,
this is our contribution.

We want every girl, parent
and [future] husband to know

what the hymen is and how it works.

We want them to know

that the hymen can't be used
as a proof of virginity.

And that way, we can remove
one of the most powerful tools

used to control young women today.

After telling you this,

you may wonder what the alternative is,

for if we cannot use the hymen
as a proof of virginity for women,

then what should we use?

We opt for using nothing.

(Cheering)

If you --

(Applause)

If you really want to know
if a woman is a virgin or not,

ask her.

(Laughter)

But how she answers
that question is her choice.

Thank you.

(Applause)