-
(beep)
-
-Ready?
-
We rolling?
-
(board clacking)
-
Okay Ralph, can you mark it please?
-
-Do you want me to click it now?
-
-Yep, go for it.
-
Go on.
-
(board clacking)
-
-Like that?
-Brilliant.
-
-Oh, it's like in the movies.
-
Alrighty, so, um, my name's Ralph.
-
Uhm... I'm a rabbit, as you can see.
-
I'm blind in my right eye
-
and uh... this ear,
-
can't hear nothin' but ringing now.
-
(Ralph beeping)
-
Yeah, it's annoying isn't it.
-
Yeah.
-
(Ralph brushing)
-
(water running)
-
So I had my fur shaved and
-
got chemical burns up and down my back.
-
Kinda stings, ey.
-
But it's not a big deal.
-
It only really hurts when I like...
-
breathe or move around or whatever.
-
(Ralph brushing)
-
Ah yeah, ow, yeah that hurts.
-
(tap squeaking)
-
But at the end of the day, I mean,
-
it's okay, we do it for the humans, right.
-
(Ralph scratching)
-
They're far superior to us animals.
-
They've even been to space.
-
Have you ever seen a rabbit
in a rocket ship?
-
Ahh, don't think so.
-
(Ralph brushing)
-
(chair scraping)
-
Point is, I'm not a space bunny.
-
I'm a tester.
-
My daddy was a tester,
-
my mum my brothers, my sisters,
-
my kids, all testers.
-
And they all died doing their job.
-
(Ralph crunching cereal)
-
Just like I will. But it's okay.
-
Testing is what we were born to do.
-
It makes us rabbit's happy.
-
Yeah.
-
(Ralph sighs)
-
(door knocking)
-
Oh, gotta get to work.
-
(ceiling crashing)
-
(lock clinking)
-
Now I know it looks bad,
-
but the way I see it, I'm doing my job.
-
If just one human can have the illusion
-
of a safer lipstick or deoderant, or uh...
-
-Hey Ralphy, psst, Ralphy,
-
What's with the camera crew bro?
-
-Oh, they're just following me around,
-
making a documentary or something.
-
(rabbits gasp)
-
-Can you ask them to get us out of here?
-
(rabbit's pleading)
-
Come on Ralphy, just ask them
-
to get us out of here.
-
I don't want to die, man, Ralphy!
-
-Okay guys, okay, I hear you.
-
you can edit that out right?
-
Oh, here we go.
-
-Don't touch him! Stop!
-
Ow, ow, ow, shit.
-
(bleeping)
-
(Ralph groaning)
-
So , uhh, so in closing,
-
I'd um, I'd just like to say that...
-
-Sorry Ralph, we're over here.
-
Can you, can you turn around?
-
-Oh, sorry.
-
-That's all right.
-
-Is this better?
-
-Yeah. Yep. Carry on mate.
-
Okay, so, yeah. I'd just like to say
-
to everyone out there
-
still buying animal tested cosmetics,
-
like, eyeliner, shampoo, sunscreen.
-
Pretty much everything in your bathroom.
-
Well, without you
-
and countries that allow animal testing,
-
I'd be out of a job, I'd be on the streets.
-
Well, not the streets.
-
More like a field, I guess.
-
You know like a normal rabbit.
-
But hey, ah, ahh.
-
(Ralph panting)
-
It's all good.