French

CQ translation

Even if you don't fully understand, you
can still support and affirm our identity

It’s valid, and it exists.

Non-binary Stories

My name is Camille, I’m 22 years old,
I’m non-binary,

and I’m here to talk about non-binary identity.

Non-binary is an umbrella term
that includes all gender identities.

that aren't strictly male or female

This could mean being agender,
“a” like subtracting the gender

that is neutral,
or it could mean all fluid identities.

If we imagine gender as a spectrum
with two poles, masculine and feminine,

a person can slide across it.
Hence, it includes identities like

gender-fluid, demi-gender,
and pan-gender, etc.

I never really felt
connected to femininity.

When I was 18,
I started questioning my gender identity.

I was in a relationship with a trans man

who helped me find the words
to describe my identity

— non-binary.

I believe because he had access to more
information than I did at the time,

he was able to help me find the
words to describe my identity.

Gender identity is what we are,

it's the gender we feel,
experience, and live.

Gender expression, on the other hand,
is how we present that identity to others,

it’s the way we will
express this identity.

For instance, someone might identify

as male but have a
feminine gender expression,

with many markers that
society sees as feminine.

For example, Bilal Hassani is a man

with a feminine gender expression.

I came out to my parents as non-binary

and told them I wanted to change
my first name at the same time

I was 20, so that was about 2 years ago.

My mom was very supportive

She was already familiar with
gender identity topics

and made me feel safe.

My dad’s reaction was
a bit more reserved.

I took my time before telling him,

and decided to do it indirectly via text.

It was easier that way.

He responded positively,

saying he didn’t fully understand,

but he loved me just the
same and would support me,

nothing would change for him.

It was harder for my grandmother to grasp.

because it was a topic
very foreign to her.

She grew up in a rural environment
and later moved to Paris.

She lived with
my grandfather for 50 years.

She lived in a very traditional,
heteronormative context,

where she never questioned
her own identity or those of others.

So when I came out to her,
she was a bit taken aback.

But she always made sure
to treat me in the best way possible.

She made a real effort,

and now she barely uses
my wrong pronoums or name.

In 2019, I applied to change
my first name

through my local city hall.

I started some paperwork
with testimonies

from people in my life to show they used
the name Cami to address me.

I also added a letter of support
from my school, etc.

Then, I submitted this paperwork.
I waited a few months,

though the process can vary
depending on the city,

and my application was approved.

Misgendering someone means
referring to them

using pronouns that don’t
align with their identity.

For instance, if a non-binary person

explicitely says they use gender-neutral
pronouns like “they/them,

but someone insists on calling
them “he” or “she,” that’s misgendering.

Personally, I use feminine pronouns

when speaking
and neutral pronouns in writing.

In general I usually speak up
right away saying:

I prefer if you adress me with
feminine pronouns when speaking.

Though if someone
doesn’t speak up right away

and you want to be sure
you are using the correct pronoun,

you can ask them their pronouns
or wait for them to address themselves

and you can follow their lead.

In previous videos I’ve made, there were
a lot of negative comments online

invalidating non-binary identities,
denying our experiences

and expressions of gender.
I try not to dwell on those comments

because most of them come from
a place of ignorance or malice

and reading them would only bring me down.

I also once participated in a documentary,

where people claimed that
non-binary identities were just a trend

that emerged in the U.S. a decade ago

related to fashion,
the unisex movement, etc.

That’s simply not true.

I think that’a a very white
and Eurocentric view.

In reality, many cultures
around the world

have recognized multiple
gender identities,

but these identities
were erased through colonization.

Some people argue that creating
more gender categories is unnecessary

and complicates things.

But I believe it’s extremely important
and empowering to be able to first

identify onself with something to then
be able to break free from

the gender we were
arbitrarily assigned at birth.

I also think it’s a way that labels can
help us find community, connect

with others who share similar
experiences, and know we’re not alone,

that there are other people like us,
that understand, and hear us.

If I had one message to share, it would
be this: even if you don’t understand .

someone’s gender identity,
you can still support and stand by them

You can learn,
question your own biases,

educate yourself

and help those close to you.
Even if you cannot fully understand

all the complexity of
their gender identity.

Finally, it’s important to remember

that every non-binary person
expresses their identity differently.

Some may pursue medical transitions,

like hormone therapy or surgeries,

while others may not.

Regardless of whether
someone transitions,

medically, socially, or not at all,
their identity remains valid and exists

And there are so many of us out there,
we are many, many.