When Your Friend Watches the Masters

Heya

Why do you look ridiculous?

Oh thanks yeah I'm getting into golf

Oh because the whole Rory McIlroy and The Masters?

Yeah well I just figured you know

I'm not getting any younger and golf is a game that

looks kindly upon the older gentlemen

or lady

Depending on what year your rule book was

written in right?

Hold on golf is a lot more inclusive these days

Really?

You go into any clubhouse there's a captain

and a lady captain

who are equally insufferable

That's great

Yeah i've even got myself a golf coach

How's your swing?

We're not there yet still working on the basics

Oh like your grip or?

Wealth accumulation

What?

If you can master that you can

really succeed at the game

I went golfing once

Yeah you spent more time in the sand

than David Hasseloff

hahahaha

Owwww

Is that supposed to be a joke?

No

It's low quality golf banter

it's one of the most difficult parts of the game to master

Over 18 holes that's really going to grate

Oh yeah it wears you down

You going to Claire's later?

Nah I got to hit the gym

coach has me deadlifting 200 kg

You can't lift that

No i know i can't but a huge part of golf

is having a bad back

just look in any clubhouse

You're really serious about this whole golf thing?

I've even invested in a fancy set of clubs

Can I see them?

No apparently they have to remain in

the boot of my car at all times

Hmmm]

Could you smear this in a perfectly straight line across my forehead?

What is it?

Well it's a skin lightening cream

What why?

Yeah I'm trying to get that golfer's tan

You know I just don't want to look like an idiot in the changing rooms

Right

where are the drinks?

Couldn't get them

Why not?

I was at the bar i was about to pay

somebody coughed it just

it completely threw me

Okay well I'll get them i guess

Oh thanks man yeah

so it's uh 30 yards to the bar

there's a dog leg to the right

just try to avoid the hazard

What hazard?

It's my wife and kids

What?

yeah a huge part of golf

is avoiding your family

Doomdah

We've got five shows in Dublin in May in Vicar Street

that's a lot of "ins"

It is yeah

Yes take a sleave

have a sleave

thank you finally I'm being respected

we're also going to Australia and New Zealand

in June

Doomdah