Why you should NOT work in RETAIL!

Thats your fault!!

getting crap all day from the managers

(laughs)

Like fire alarms, everything they do

Fire Extinguishers kind of fire

Oh my God this place has been broken into

It was grim! This bitch

is on her own in a haunted warehouse

Toxic as all shit!

(Intro music playing)

(Gibberish) It makes me feel beautiful!

(Laughter)

Oh my God girl, it’s been tight

How this ring light is working? I don’t

even know because my niece, she

tripped up on it. Sent it! She might as

well have yeated it across the room

Sent it away

for seven working days.

Catipulted into the wall

and it’s still alive

I don't know

what the lightning

is like

in here, but I’ve got

the curtains open at

the moment

I don’t know whether I’m going to shut

the curtains and get some lighting in here

I don’t know. So the lighting might change

throughout the video. I have no idea no

idea what to do, don’t know what to do

I can do it

moments before I started filming I had

a gulp of coughing

another reason I am still shocked that I

am still alive.

I literally

take gulp of

coffee while I’m doing

my makeup. Dilly me!

I was about to sneeze but I

was mid-swallow

So I panicked and tried

to swallow. I still got coffee up

my nose!

What’s up and welcome to my channel

If you’ve never been here before please

make sure you subscribe right down there

And press on that bell so you know when

I next do a video

This video is going to be so

hard to do. Oh my God!

My mates have been begging

and dying for me to do this video

I was supposed to have a little audience

here but they’ve not arrived yet

Oh my God girl! This is so hard talk about

(Effect runs across screen)

Retail. Working in retail.

This girl has had her fair share

plenty of experience working in retail

quick disclaimer

this is not a video to go and get

out at the managers nor the customers

this is just about experiences that I have

endured while working in retail

though they might not work there

anymore or shop there anymore

why do I feel so nervous to do this

I’ve recently just left one of those jobs

that was toxic as all shit

working in retail in the UK

before anyone starts to work in retail

people forget to advise you about the

following: customers have no filter.

whatsoever!

they have no filter

nor common sense

not a percent of decent humanity

or compassion

managers think they rule the mini kingdom

we got the shoplifters

we’ve got the karens

we’ve got all of them

the wise people that have

worked in retail in the past

that have survived

never share their experiences and wisdom

this is going to be episode one because

I have got like eight notebooks of all

the weird shit I have experienced working

multiple stores. I’m even considering

writing a book but

this girl doesn’t want her ass sued just

yet. We’re just going to dive right in

(squeals and laughs)

I’m going to kick off this video with one

of the most funniest fucking situations

so this was about the job that I recently

left. My mates will even tell you

I don’t use my brain, ever

they’re shocked that I’m still alive

this is like one of the examples

when you watch like a horror movie and

your friend or your relative sits there

next to you and goes

”oh if that happened to me, if I got

broken into, I would punch them in

the face”

and then when a sort of situation like

this happens to you, you turn

like a deer in the headlights

I had to close down with one of

the, two of the managers

he’s no longer in the store anymore

he no longer works for the company

this was hilarious

so, I was closing up with this

manager, so I’m going to call him Taylor

for some weird reason

It’s me, muggin

did the closing up and the cashing up with

the manager

99% of my shifts and it was a bitch

I hated it

you know when you’re just like for

God sakes I just want

to go home

and especially when something goes wrong

when cashing out

there’s something missing in the

Flow. You can’t go home until

it’s done or when the alarm doesn’t

set itself properly and it just makes

you want to cry

you just want to go home

back to motherland

sitting in meudi

Watching Scream

Just recovering from the trauma that

I went through that day

we were cashing up

everything was going spiffingly well.

Taylor if you’re laughing

you’re going to hell

me, muggins, end up having to cash up

almost every single night of the

week. To set the scene, we’re

in the office right everything’s going

spiffingly well. So then Taylor goes “you

know what would make life a

lot easier?”

You know me, I want to get out as quick

as I can is it going to get us out

quicker? he gave me both out cards

and said “clock us both out, I’ll be

turning on the alarm system

and then we can meet in the middle

and then exit the store

Brilliant!

So this was a supermarket

Oh yeah it was haunted as all are

you know dead people and ghosts

like me got a lot of uh story times to

tell you about that one

set back the scene, I clock uh…

it’s already eerie

when you are in a supermarket

and the lights are really dim that

it’s almost dark, it’s very eerie

this place was haunted as all are

we knew there was going to be a delivery

coming in but normally a delivery guy

would unlock the door from the outside

himself, in the delivery, and leave

in, late in the evening, right about

tenish to elevenish

well more like canter down the aisles

to get to the back room because

I was too fucking scared to walk

around in the shop floor

that’s haunted as all ass

eerie as hell, it’s like 10 pm

so picture this, when you’re clocking

in and clocking out

you’re on a system against the wall

so on the wall behind you is the fire exit

door and the door where the deliveries

come through (laughs)

normally the delivery man never got there

until way after that we left

he forgot to give the shop the memo

to say that he was coming a little earlIer

didn’t give us a tip

nay nay

gosh shit like this has to happen to me

so I’m clocking us out facing the back

wall in this retail park there’s a lot of

um shoplifting, raids, clocking out

La-df-da ing

going as quick as I can and

then I hear this BOOM in the milisecond

when you’re in that sort of situation

you’re in an eerie large store that’s

very dark

and the warehouse is haunted as all ass

already a millisecond thinking “okay,

the ghost has thrown a box”

happened quite often in this store

I hear the back door boom open

remember when I said to you if you was

in a horror movie and some broke into

your house like a crazy murderer broke

into your house what would you do

you get that “oh I’ll get a bat and

hit him on the head” “ oh I’ll find the

sulfuric acid in the kitchen somewhere and

throw it in their face”

“oh I throw a hammer at their head”

no, for that millisecond I thought “shit, someone has broken in”

I was triple the size at this time, so this

bitch couldn’t run fast enough

(laughs)

not even a half a milliseconds I’m

thinking oh my god this place has been

broken into

this bitch is on her own in the haunted

warehouse, doors wide open, someone

will break in and murder me

a million ideas and a million scenarios

were flying through my head

come to the part of the self-defense

mechanis my back is planted

against this system (laughs)

my first instinct was to put my hand

behind… oh my God… everyone thought

this shit was so funny they watched

the footage from the CC TV footage

over and over again cause they thought

it was hilarious not funny

cause I couldn’t see who was at the door

because he’d opened the door

gone behind the door to get the brick to

keep the door open

this bitch she’s keeping her back planted

against this system my hands are like

this like trying to find something to lob

and launch at this person

i find something in my hand but at the

same time when this situation happens

to you you don’t think

was it a hammer? No

without even half a split second

quarter of a fraction inch of a second

thought this must be the delivery guy

no, I thought I was gonna get murdered

So I (laughs) long yeeted across the

warehouse (laughs)

this is one golden Chloe moment

This is just one of the reasons that

I would not survive if I had

a murderer encountment

thing in my hand that I yeeted across

the warehouse (laughs)

was a roll of sellotape (laughs)

let that sink in let that sink in

I don’t talk about this often because

it makes me feel so silly

my eyes were facing the floor

not a good position to be before

running away from some sort of

mass murderer but alas it was not

a mass murderer nor a burglar

it was the delivery man it was the

delivery man a very confused

very offended (laughs)

scared delivery man he just

boomed out “oi calm down love!”

the roll of sellotape was right at his

feet I literally end up knees down

to the floor with relief

why didn’t you knock why didn’t

you tell the manager that you were coming

rude! Embarrassingly tail between my legs

waltz back to the office

I’ve got a very confused manager

going “where have you been?”

but when he found out how I reacted to

this situation of my near death experience

thought it was A star fucking hilarious

so I was off for a couple of days after

that after that embarrassing encounter I

come back and we close up together again

goes “oh, I remembered to look at the

footage. Do you know how fucking hilarious

it was to watch that?”

not only me and the manager saw that

footage, a large amount of people saw that

footage I felt more of an idiot than I

already do I’m not gonna lie it was

hilariously funny but at the time there

was a lot of break-ins and a lot of like

shoplifting, burglaries around the area

at that time I was like a little bit on

edge I was at the ready tape in hand

at the ready I never thought my eyes

could go as wide as they did

we watch the footage and he zoomed in at

least like 80 times my eyes were like

this (gestures large circles with hands)

Fuck you roll of tape

not gonna lie that was not funny

it wasn’t funny at the time but it’s now

hilarious and slightly worrying because if

anything like that happened to me

I would be in hot poo poo

oh God I mean it could have been anything

it could have been a stapler it could have

been anything no I had to get a bloody

role of tape as if that bitch was

gonna save my life but a little bit after

That I kind of decided not to do the

Closing up anymore it wasn’t that that

put me off, it was the ghosts actually

this is another story that just literally

Popped into my head so this is when

I worked in Mark’s an Spencer’s

back when I was like part-time modeling

because I was in college at the time

I think I was there for quite a while

that’s all I remember

I remember a lot of the experiences

but one of these experiences

was pretty grim you know when these

retail companies they say how much they

respect and look after their employees

umm I don’t want to be sued by Mark’s and

Spark’s to be honest with you

I ain’t got much Google AdSense for that

shit set the scene think of like an

abandoned swimming changing room

this Mark’s and Spencer’s was very old

I would do the early morning shift

like the stacking up in the morning

the employee bathroom it was grim

mate walking through the back of the

building early in the morning was grim

you had this girl that used to go partying

in that same area she’d go into the

changing rooms (laughs) in the staff

room have a quick Power Nap

this girl was fresh as a daisy back there

and could like that she’d come back to

life within minutes not anymore

walking through this echoey eerie

alleyway you’ve still got people passed

out on the ground from the clubs

across the street you’ve got the crazy

guy asking you money for drugs

imagine that think of Harry Potter the

Order of the Phoenix how eerie

that alleyway was when the Dementor

come through that was the kind of

alleyway a Dementor would definitely

of fucking flown in there scared the

crap out of ya during the day fine

but in the night early in the morning

I’d get there for like 4:30 in the morning

I would literally poo myself like run you

know those moments when you’re a kid

I’m lying there I still do it to this day

when you turn the light off you

marching half way up the stairs

you’re like I can do this I can do this

then you feel like there’s some sort of

slender man behind you you fucking canter

up the stairs that kind of feeling that

you when you were setting your ass down

this alleyway I mean I got paid weekly

the money was good everyone there was cool

we had I had some good time working in

there anyway leaving the scene of the

Dementor alleyway you went to this door

that you would lock yourself in from the

back of the door not in the office

like during that feeling when you’re

running up the stairs thinking there’s

some sort of boogeyman behind you you

start to punch in the numbers like a

freaking idiot you run up these very high

set of concrete stairs smash my knees in

every freaking morning I think I’ve still

got scars on my knees cause of that

desperate to go for a wee because this

girl drunk two red bulls while she was on

The bus on the way there yeah this

building was haunted as well waltz to the

toilet it was grim mold leak spots up the

ceiling I shit you not there was some

girls that had to go in together because

they were too scared to go in it was

prison vibes the store was lovely but the

back well I run to the toilet sitting down

holding me leg up high because oh yes

it’s like prison toilets i forgot I was

in prison now there was no lock

on the door so my leg is out high

my leg is right out there keeping the

door shut while trying to pee at the same

time it was very hard to concentrate

I swipe the toilet paper while I’m doing

this the employee doesn’t even think

the door just swings open lo and behold

you see me naked from waist down

(laughing) swiping position

oh my God I felt so sorry for her

cause she was an older lady and I

was mortified for her, I should have been

pissed off because she should have

thought “hmm I’ve been here for several

years now, I’ve been here for two decades

now, maybe I should knock the pissing

door nay nay course not it’s my life

isn’t it she’s standing there looking at

me naked from waist down I’m now

looking at her (laughs) with my

(inaudible) there are times people

have seen me in the worst of times that

was a moment beyond that she can see

my cleanly shaved (laughs) she’s no

longer here I’m joking funny enough

she was just stranding there shocked

not like “ugh” waltzes out and I feel

exposed pull my leggings up and

I’m looking any myself in the mirror and

there’s a bit of mold there at least

someone saw my hoo haw

no one ever sees my hoo haw that’s a

Very rare sighting anyone sees my hoo haw

God just so happy it was her who saw my

hoo haw and no one else another thing I’ve

just remembered working in that store

it was just one of those moments

It was the first customer I had

he was rude as all ass

this is when I was on the till

Had to cover for the clothing department

aaaah I feel dirty remembering it HLEGH

first customer of the morning, it was 7 am

stores like that, like markses and stuff

opened a lot earlier

during christmas time. first customer of the day

he was an an absolute ogre

he was lovely, plesant, very very rude

He waltzes up to me, doesnt pass me these trousers he wanted to return

oooh nay nay, course not, first customer of the day!

seven AM, flashes the bag in my face

good morning how can I help you?

so youre returning this, then?

deep evil voice Yes

as if hes asking me who the fuck im talking to

I have the best retail face, I can smile for miles

but this guy, hes not going to take the contents out of the bag

he wants me to do it, me, muggy

as soon as im halfway, pulling the contents out the bag

I smell a stench, old marajuana

and uhm kitty pee

I know the smell of kitty pee

Im holding the back of my checks, im thinking

that smell, I cant handle it

I had [indistinct] horses for years

20 a day at some times, they all came back in a day

cleam up baby bums

but this smell... I bet a dead body was wearing it

Pulled it out of a forensic scene

and tried to return the bitch

working in retail youd be shocked what people try to return

trust me. I push the buzzer underneath my till

cause I know that this isnt going to go spiffingly well

all of the managers at that store, as grim as the place was

the managers were amazing

Had our backs, I didnt even need to explain to her

cause she could smell it

Just trying to get it out of her throat

thats how strong the stench was

All i remember was a MMMaaassive back and forth

he doesnt walk away with credit, doesnt walk away with a refund

just leaves the pants, pants like trousers

we'll get to that one in a minute

we're standing there looking at this set of pants and

im lookin at it like girl what do we do with these

walk down the road and incenerate them?

Put em out of their mysery

Cant remember if it was called a return box or a debit box

in these "debit boxes"

the shit you find in there

will make you lose faith in human beings

not only we saw a pee stain on it, on the back of the trouser leg

there was a poo stain, definetly cat poo

that was in the return box for months

and that smell, never went

everyone at the store room just sort of tried to avoid it

like the plague

another one is when people come from another planet

there is a small amount of people that think you can return used underpants

I kid you not, in the recent store I worked at

we would not return underwear at all

we sold underwear but we would not return it at all

makes sense right?

this woman... thiiiiis womannnn..

is very self absorbant, self rightous

woman waltzes to my till

has to be my station doesnt it, thats where shit goes wrong

passes the box of mens pants in my face

just waves it in my face, not like hey can I return something

this is why retail workers are such misrable bastards

she waves this box of underpants in my face

and at first I thought, cause of these werd experiences ive had

that they were unopened

Its on the recept somewhere I think

its in very fine print, but you can still read it

its still very very easy to read

and shes trying to return them

and i try to explain to her four times, I cant take these back

we cant exchange or refund these

we're really sory, but unfortunately due to our policy

we cannot return or exchange underwear

very nicely, I was famous for being the most bubbly person on the till

the managers didnt like that

probably on the next epsiodes but anyways

This woman is now getting so angry with me

I call one of my managers that was lovely

I call em over cause im like.. girl

I need your help ASAP I cant get rid of this bitch

she comes to my rescue, she explains to her

shes really nice and polite back with her

I thought ok shes gonna exit the building

she wants to do a last minute performance

comes back up to me like its my fault

its YOUR fault you bought pants that are the wrong size

if youre a store assistant or a checkout chick

its YOUR fault

she then tells me she wants to sue the company

she wants to sue the company for this policy

that we cant exchange or return underwear

I said babe, coulda been anything, a bottle of ketchup

you coulda got a bloody mug, box of matches

nah it had to be underwear

and I was having a very long day already

Doing all that crap all day, bugging the managers

laugh

then shes threatening to sue me!

like its my fault!

but nonononono when the manager explained to her

about the tills and the policies she was absolutely fine

but then she turned to me like she wanted to murder me

and sue my fat ass

please read the recept for the policy

99.9% of companies in the UK do not exchange or return underwear

you might have a rough idea why

I have this story an old manager told me

from the store I've just come from

He told me the story

but he's no longer there

I actually asked him what is the most

like weirdest return situation they had

There was actually

a SNEAKY cleaver bastard

that would buy perfumes

open up the package, take the perfumes

and just replace the weight with

with like sand or anything weighted

put it back in the box and seal it

like he'd seal it

apparently this women cost the company

a lot of money

turning the perfume, like

getting the currency value back for it

waltzing out the store

and nice perfume to go home to

she can go home

and enjoy the hard earned cash

and enjoy spritzing until her heart

earns content

I thought that was hilarious

GENIOUS

the next story is

that we got forced to work

while the store next door to us

was on FIRE.

like fire alarms everything

the needed a fire extinguisher

kind of fire, till the fire brigade came down

we were still told

to scan as usual

I wish I was making this up

this is like my therapist

Set the scene

scanning the lobby

in the checkout

BEEP BEEP BEEP

honestly I still hear the beeping

like that in my head

Trama triggered HAHAH

set the scene

normal day as usual

the store is a nightmare

it was always very busy and a nightmare

one customer comes to me

casually going through his things

"did you hear that there's a fire

next door"

I'm like looking around like

you know me my anxiety hits the roof

an employee next door

had a cheeky

ummmmm

cigarette. don't know the full story

of how she got caught

it rolled under a pallet of

very flammable things

the stock room got engulfed in flames

and some of the store caught fire

a manager from the shop next door

is flying to my till

because she knows I've got

the calling out thingy

a couple of stores ive worked

I was one of those ladies that goes

"clean up on isle 6 please"

"Vomit on isle 2"

I was one of those

She comes to me and goes

can you call a manager over

I need a fire extinguisher

Why the store doesn't have

a fire extinguisher, they are making

a ton of money every five seconds

employees are underpaid

but alas they don't have a

a fire extinguisher to save their lives

my head sounds to my manager

"this is code red,

we need a fire extinguisher"

so I call to my manager

she RUUNS to the isle

like she's looking at me like ive done

something wrong. and there's always like

(In evil voice) what have you done

wait for a second girl

let me explain

she runs get the fire extinguisher

that manager next door

runs to extinguish something

so im feeling a little bit nervous

I look at my manager

"Girl what's going on,

I'm feeling nervous now"

like matter of factly goes

"oh the store next door is on fire"

"SIT"

run through the fire call

NO.

turns out the store next door

was on fire

Yep.

like so chill, we were told

to proceed as normal

even though next door was engulfed flames

fire engine arrives

customers are coming going

"why are you outside"

while they are shopping

this is an example that

customers have NO filter

nor make sense

why are you shopping there

if the building next door

Is engulfed in flames

burning, London's burning

the store next door is burning

why are you shopping

my anxiety, was up the roof

but I was smiling

"would you like a bag with that"

it felt like

you know like the Titanic

the boat is SINKING

Don't DIEEE

first class people were being evacuated

by boats

the workers and the peasants had to

stay behind and DIE

HAHAHAH

That's how it felt

Fire engines outside

there was a lot of flammables

apparently in the back of the building

next door, they could have exploded

pallet with lots and lots

of flammable wire

it could have gone BOOM

we DIE

nah nah nah

we were just told to work

as per usual

WHAT.

true story

my dad didn't believe me

no no no

the workplace should be

taking the employees outside

so you know they don't die

GAHAHA so theres no deaths in the building

Oh you know its okay

we are probably like you know

inhaling fumes

but no as long as we are making

money for the greedy company

its absolutely totally fine

dandy as rain.

the building probably burnt down

at one point but people weren't allowed

to leave.

that's probably why there was ghosts

in thereeee

yes that place was very haunted

but im going to wait until the next video

and talk about it

buckle up for the next episode

because the next episode

is going to be very juicy

this one was just a taster

I avoid any retail place nowadays

like the plague

you know like when someone

comes from the army

where they kind of like

avoid guns, bombs

that kind of thing

yeah that's how I feel

about going to retail

so if you enjoyed this

give me that thumbs up

and if you haven't already make sure

that you subscribe to my channel

and press on that bell, and you know when I next do a video

and ill see you beautiful little raindrops

in the next video

TADAAA

plucky outro music