Why you should make useless things

(Exhale)

My name is Simone.

You know how people tell you

if you get nervous when on stage,

picture people in the audience naked.

Like it's this thing that's supposed
to make you feel better.

But I was thinking --

picturing all of you naked in 2018
feels kind of weird and wrong.

Like we're working really hard
on moving past stuff like that,

so we need a new method of dealing with
if you get nervous on stage.

And I realized that what I'd really like

is that I can look at you as much
as you're looking at me --

just to even things out a little bit.

So if I had way more eyeballs,

then we'd all be really
comfortable, right?

So in preparation for this talk,

I made myself a shirt.

(Laughter)

It's googly eyes.

It took be 14 hours

and 227 googly eyes to make this shirt,

and being able to look at you
as much as you're looking at me

is actually only half
of the reason I made this.

The other half is being able to do this.

(Shirt shakes)

(Laughter)

So I do a lot of things like this.

I see a problem and I invent
some sort of solution to it.

For example,

brushing your teeth.